sunshinee Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 Any advice for a newbie? I know what I'm into just not sure how to get into it with someone else.
gibo94 Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 My main advice would be don’t rush into anything. Although you’re new and eager to get some experience it is important to not rush especially if you’re a sub as a lot of “experienced” doms are eager to take advantage of your eagerness and use you for their own desires without fulfilling yours. Try and stay vocal in chats etc and speak to people who are similar to you so you know what to expect. In terms of finding partners it may take a while but be patient and be certain before you agree to meet anyone and always meet someone public first
qu**** Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 Chatting in the forums or in chatrooms is a good start, you'll find everyone helpful and non-judgemental,
Deleted Member Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 Gibo94 has good advice. I am very new and I am discovering my likes and dislikes. Wish I had the sense to have been initially patient as Gibo94 said there are Doms that will take advantage. It was only by chatting on this site and asking questions that helped me realise the situation I had placed myself in. Time and patience as well as discussion is the key. Read the articles, honestly I find this site amazing, it is a community and I have found the help and advice invaluable on the start of my journey.
qu**** Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 And don't be worried to just delete any message you don't like especially if it's from someone you've had no interaction from or if they didn't ask to pm you, some do try it on
Deleted Member Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 It took me months to realise I didn’t have to answer all the messages! 🙈
scumtrashfuck Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 Just talk to people that have similar interests to you, get comfortable in yourself and interests , sometimes a conversation about things is an easy way to come to terms with this stuff and build up trust with someone you may want to try it with.
Vandalslut Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 Welcome, Sunshinee. Definitely, do not rush. Very excellent advice from all above. The magazine articles are very, very good; and as you become more comfortable, up your profile to include what your interests and kinks are so you don't get bombarded with messages involving kinks that you have no interest in or are actively repellent to you. Read the threads, join the discussions...there's always plenty to learn. We've found lovely, wise and very beautiful souls here. People we can trust.
qu**** Posted January 10, 2020 Posted January 10, 2020 Also don't be worried to just talk about "normal" things, just as important as kink, fetish and that, sometimes even more insightful
Deleted Member Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 People first,kinky second.If you remember that you can't go wrong.So many jump in thinking it's the other way round and that is a huge mistake.Patience and respect for others is the key.Then you will win friends and trust.
RaymondWise Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 A lot of great advice, especiall people (normal friendship relationship stuff first) kink second. There are BDSM socials in many areas, usually called munched as they often are in restaurants. Using them as a place to make friends and network is an approach I've used successfully. And getting to know people who identify as you do, as friends and an informal support group, can help you navigate all this.
J_**** Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 I understand exactly how you feel. Once you recognise who you are and that kink is where you fit in, it's so exhilarating. And you want to explore it all. But then you're met with the challenge of finding a partner. When I started actively seeking a D/S relationship a couple of years ago, I met a few folks too soon and found myself in some very potentially compromising positions. Thankfully, I had the good sense to step away before getting into a scene with any of them. Everyone says take it slow. And it's so damned frustrating. But that is absolutely the best advice. I've met some really amazing folks in the kink world and made some good friends. I'm still looking for a Dom, but if the connection isn't there then neither is the trust. It'll happen when the time is right. x
qu**** Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 The other thing to consider is who are you looking for, a purely D/s relationship where you visit a Dom/sub for a release on a periodic basis, either paid or unpaid (another issue), or a relationship on a personal level, where you're fully part of each others lives in whatever chosen role, and fully committed to each other, of course the latter can come about as part of a periodic relationship, but if your primary desire is one where you want a fully intimate relationship from the start then you start on a more "normal" basis, as in dating and that. Hope that makes sense 😁
sunshinee Posted January 12, 2020 Author Posted January 12, 2020 I really appreciate all of your responses. I'm lucky have joined a place that is as welcoming and non judgmental as this one. I will take all of your advice in to account. Really, thanks again
Deleted Member Posted January 12, 2020 Posted January 12, 2020 25 minutes ago, sunshinee said: I really appreciate all of your responses. I'm lucky have joined a place that is as welcoming and non judgmental as this one. I will take all of your advice in to account. Really, thanks again Hi @sunshinee and welcome. The forums are great here. Keep asking questions. People will say listen to your gut, but if you're anything like me, your cunt speaks lounder than your gut and usually wins. Mine's gotten me into some daft predicaments up til now. But still here, getting wiser. Friends in the community are a godsend.
DanielHoup Posted January 13, 2020 Posted January 13, 2020 On 1/10/2020 at 9:46 AM, sunshinee said: Any advice for a newbie? I know what I'm into just not sure how to get into it with someone else. Find something that resonates with you. Topics and people who are on your frequency and put yourself there. Do not be scared. There always be someone who will hate your craft and someone who will admire you. The main thing to follow and stick with people who make you progress and evolve. Just ignore the noise, be yourself and enjoy it.
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