Asexual

Varieties of asexuality

Asexuals (or Ace's) are perhaps the least understood or discussed of all sexualities. Asexuality refers to people who do not, to a greater or lesser extent, experience sexual attraction to other people. Sexual attraction is not the same thing as sexual desire or libido, and attitudes towards sex among asexuals varies widely; from sex-averse asexuals who do not like or engage in sex, to sex-favourable asexuals for whom the lack of sexual attraction may have little impact on an active (even kinky) sex life, and everything between. The asexual spectrum also includes a variety of identities, including (but not limited to) Demisexuals who may become sexually attracted to people to whom they are emotionally close, Grey Asexuals who may experience sexual attraction but only rarely or to a lesser degree, Cupiosexuals who may still desire a relationship despite the lack of attraction, and more.

Aromantics (Aro's) are a separate identity based on lack of romantic attraction but with a similar variety of attitudes and orientations - many people identify as both Ace and Aro but the two identities are independent of one another. The core identities of Asexual and Aromantic relate to the absence of one or other form of attraction, with variations on the spectrum recognising more specific experiences and attitudes.

Copy subbed by Non-Vanilla Aces - A group for any and all people on the asexual spectrum.

What is asexuality?

Asexuality means not being sexually attracted to anyone. It can mean an asexual person has next to no sexual desire. Although some asexual people will masturbate or have sex for a variety of different reasons, sexual attraction is missing from the equation.

Is asexuality rare?

About 1% of the British population identify as asexual, so it is relatively rare. It is a growing number as more people learn what asexuality is and realise they identify with it.

Do asexuals ever have sex?

Some do. This can be to please a partner, because they know it will feel good, to ease menstrual cramps or for stress relief. They can become turned on physically, it’s the sexual attraction in the first place they don’t feel. So some asexual people may never have sex. It is different for each individual.

Is asexual the same as celibate?

It is in a way, the opposite of being celibate. Being celibate is a choice, someone who is celibate chooses not to have sex, someone who is asexual doesn’t feel the desire to have sex. Asexuals can chose to have sex and still be asexual but if someone who sees themselves as celibate has sex, they’re no longer celibate.

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Warm and intimate, cuddles really do make everything better. They're also great before or after sex or even during. They show how much you want to be with the other person and enjoy being so close to them. Many face to face sex positions incorporate cuddling as it offers lots of skin on skin touching, bringing a greater intimacy to love making. Cuddles aren't just all about soppy romance either. They are a wonderful way to get close to your partner, show intimacy and cuddles that turn into sex are definitely the best ones ever!

Can you be vanilla and kinky?

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