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Firewitch

Excessive challenge

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Posted

I wanted to bring this topic for further consideration and community input. 

 

I define myself as an Alpha sub 

 

I am successful in my professional and family life,  I'm outspoken and assertive. 

 

I recently found myself in a position of persistently excessively challenging Sir with regard to a particular matter. 

 

I had a lightbulb moment yesterday that this tactic was undermining him as my Dom,  our dynamic and my position of sub. 

 

I have no doubt the motivation was driven from a place of fear/ insecurity/ doubt/loss rooted in my own history of being hurt and damaged by a number of others.

 

I was and continue to fight these demons but rather than allow Sir to support me,  I drew him into it and this resulted in me stepping out of line. 

 

My quest is to live broader,  stronger, more able under the guidance and authority of Sir.  My question to others is: what measures have they taken to consider or manage these traits which in the main are unwanted,  disrespectful and destructive?

 

With thanks and love 🔥

  • Like 4
Beau
Posted
Even though I’m not in a relationship within D/s fire what I have found through my own strength as a sub and growth that these demons will always be there unless we can turn round and be that better person and accept what happened and how it has made us to who we are today I want to say forgiveness but I’m still working on that one myself so maybe that is the key forgiveness and acceptance you are so lucky Fire to have such an amazing man behind you just trust him that little bit more and open up he will support you in every way that he can your bond together is a beautiful thing to see If it helps you know where I am if you want to chat xx 💗💗💗
  • Like 4
Posted

Stop focusing on history and bad thoughts , move your energies into being the absolute best sub you can be in any environment , on line , chat , real life

As a powerful Dom once said 

Do or do not there is no try !

or was that Yoda xx

  • Like 4
Posted
I resonate with parts of this post and hope you don't mind me popping my two cents in... Communication is the key, as far as possible. I've trialled a coloured bracelet symbol in a past relationship as sometimes I find it hard to communicate fears and insecurities on the days when they are at their highest. I would wear a certain colour bangle to help my partner understand where my head was at. Obviously the meanings of the bangles needs to be clear beforehand! Over time it certainly helped us to understand one another without having to worry about finding the right words to explain.
  • Like 2
TazzAbby
Posted

I have myself been in damaging relationships where I was essentially placed in the sub role and made to feel worthless.

like yourself, I am a very strong character and I am in control of most areas of my life and as such I have constantly challenged my new Dom... he teases and calls it my bratty side and rolls with it, but it does kinda undermine his roll. 

Thankfully he is very patient and I am slowly relaxing into a sub role which has made a real differing my demeanour and my outlook. It is definitely a gradual process and won’t happen overnight but communication and patience  is a big thing... perhaps using the colour code that suki mentions to help communicate without the need to verbally spell it out which can be tough. 

I hope that you manage to get passed this ok and are happy and fulfilled. X 

  • Like 1
ExpertDom
Posted
You try to maintain control, because you lack trust, feel insecure based on past demons, you need to train your mind to let go, give up control completely to your Dom and you will feel free, and he will enjoy it more as it will allow him to fully enjoy your submission. It's more psychological than physical and probably meditation or not letting thoughts outside of how much you want your Dom what it means to you to be with him invade your mind. Many of my ex subs were managers, bussinesswomen and they were used to controlling everything in their profession and personal life, but as a woman and sexually they were very submissive and wanted the burden of control taken away ffom them, to feel free, to be under the control and mercy of a man, to feel his raw power and dominance, and often during initial phases, they found it challenging to transition. But tasks, exercises, open conversation with your Dom helps and a Dom should guide and help you as it's not just your problem to solve. He needs to guide you.
  • Like 4
FabSeverus
Posted

the issue is with that particular matter. it was there before you start your D/s I presume?

that little issue bring the strong woman back into the dynamic and take control over the submissive side. you can only resume your relationship if you resolve that issue outside your relationship first. I might be wrong?

  • Like 1

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