First of all: I'm looking for a serious, committed relationship (tositarkoituksella). I'm too old for just casual affairs; I want to love and bed someone I know well and who knows me. So, if you're here for just casual hookups, I'm not what you want.
BDSM, for me, is strictly roleplay only.
I'm about 80%-90% bottom, and interested in kind and caring people who are service tops/pleasure doms. Personality-wise, I'm not looking for full-on dominant sadists, just people who can play that role well in the bedroom, if you catch my drift. Just as I'm not at all submissive (or dominant) IRL, but can play that part to the hilt in the bedroom. Our dark side stays there. Outside of it, I will respect you and treat you as my equal, and expect you to do the same for me. You earn my adoration through trust and caring, and that can only be achieved through an absolute respect of my limits, just as I respect yours. This is non-negotiable; I will not violate your limits no matter how much they may frustrate me. If you're looking for someone to subjugate 24/7, look elsewhere; there are plenty of such people about.
I'm a total and utter Romantic in the original sense of the word. So, if you know what that entails, you will get what I'm about--that's a world of kinks right there. Consequently, I like roleplay in that sort of vein--my no. 1 kink is that of a charming, elegant villain ravishing the feisty heroine. I'd describe myself as more of a bottom than a full-on sub--but I do like games where said charming villain ****s* me to submit to his nefarious desires. 😈
I'm unusual in that I'm more about building up and healing the sub, rather than degrading and destroying them; I love it when the dom digs out the sub's inner slut (or faggot) and seduces them to the dark side, and then celebrates that.
"Let me go!" Ms. Heroine cries, writhing in her ropes in vain as Mr. Villain presses against her naked back, cupping her pussy in his gloved hand. He just smirks and lifts out his fingers--glistening from her arousal. "Why is your pussy so wet?" he laughs and licks his fingers. "Could it be you've fantasised about me all along? Well, don't you worry, my dear..." he leans in to murmur in her ear, tapping his whip against her thigh, "tonight, I'm going to make you into my very own whore."
That sort of thing. So, it's a very sex-positive approach, albeit wrapped in dark trappings (this may all sound very wholesome, but trust me: within certain roleplay scenarios, I can get *very* fucked up). I once had a BF describe my domination style as like a martial arts master or a guru. In that I put my disciple through hell to make them the best they can be, the most beautiful they can be, and will be there to catch them on the other side. I enjoy that when submitting, too; I like to be thrashed and praised, and be made into my master's precious jewel of perversity. And vice versa.
I also have chronic ***, so being thwacked with floggers, paddles, hands, etc. helps a lot--it's like acupuncture to me; I much prefer that kind of *** to the chronic sort!
BDSM can be very spiritual, I find; I'd love to find others who get that whole intersection of sex and the sacred. I'm especially interested in finding other Pagans and nondualist Tantric yogis, but this is not mandatory.
Unlike a lot of subs, I am not emotionally fragile nor do I have large, unmet emotional needs. I am mentally healthy, have been through therapy and have a strong mind; you will not get clingy despair or drama from me. I also expect the same kind of emotional maturity from you; mentally adolescent boys needn't bother. I'm a grown woman. Thus, I want a grown man at ease with himself, who's found his true strength within himself and needs no empty macho bullshit to cover up his insecurities.
And now, for the turn-ons:
-That aforementioned "villain ravishes heroine" roleplay.
-Being chased and captured and struggling against my captor, only to be finally subdued by him. I'm a big agonophile.
-Being held down or pinned against walls, the man letting me feel his weight and power. Health reasons make most bondage impractical for me, though, so restrain me with your body, baby!
-Spanking, but especially pussy spanking (the latter is an art few know how to do right, but I am happy to teach you...) Impact play in general.
-Anal sex. I can usually only come that way with a man (and Venus knows I've tried--due to various medical reasons, I can only have vaginal orgasms with toys). So, if you don't want to bum me, forget about bedding me. It's easier to hit my G-spot through my arse, the orgasms are more intense and I just love it so much in general. That combination of pleasure/***, the power exchange and the trust it requires--not to mention its overwhelming intensity--makes anal sex the BDSM act *par excellence* for me. I'm anal crazy.
-I love, love, love giving oral sex (but only to shaved and well-washed privates--that's a hard limit), and I especially love rimming guys. I love it when a man dominates me with his arse. I love to serve a man with my hands and mouth, including edging, and if you're into prostate play, so much the better.
-Just serving, worshipping, adoring; I like to drown my lovers in pleasure. Whether I am subbing or domming, I'm all about the pleasuregiving (and prefer my men to be mostly pleasure doms, too). Nothing enslaves me like pleasure. ❤️
-Elegant, stylish clothing. I like a man with style, and I dress glamorously myself--mermaid skirts, hats, gloves. I can't see myself ever submitting to a guy in a baseball cap and baggy trousers, but give me a gentleman in, say, a waistcoat or with a vandyke... mmm. Lean, mean gothbois especially turn me on, as do androgynous men; gym rats needn't bother, as big muscles and lantern jaws are turn-offs for me. I'll take even a paunch over a sixpack any day. Style is sexy. It's all about the attitude.
-Nerdery and brains in general; smart people make the best lovers.
-Good dirty talk. Tell me the words you want to hear and I'll tell you mine. Dirty talk is something I've honed down to an art, and would love to finally find a man who's the same.
So, if you want an intelligent, geeky woman with an endless erotic imagination by your side, and with whom you can natter for hours about history or spirituality or old British sci-fi whenever we aren't bonking, here I am.
But I'll stop there, or I'll be here forever.
P.S. Was all of that too much? All right, then; let's put it in simpler terms.
I have big tits and I love anal. Twirl your moustache, purr "I have you now, my pretty" and spank the living daylights out of me, bad boy!
if that sounds like you hmu!
