List of BDSM Roles

Dominants like to be in control. Unlike BDSM tops or sadists, their need is not particularly to inflict pain but to be domineering and have control over another person. Some Doms/Dommes expect to be obeyed immediately and without questions. Others enjoy being tested, and having to show their dominance over the submissive who’s being bratty. There is no one way to be a Dominant. Dom/Dommes can also be sadists, tops, masters or riggers. Dominant is a huge category of BDSM made up of many very different people who all have one thing in common, their need to be in control. The D in the term BDSM stands for Dominance, therefore Dominants are an instrumental part of BDSM. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }

A voyeur gets pleasure from watching other people indulging in sexual, kinky or fetish activities. This can be in many different situations. The people or person being watched may be aware the voyeur is there or not. Depending if the voyeur is visible or hidden away. Some voyeurs like very specific situations or they may just enjoy watching and aren’t bothered whether others know this or not. Voyeurs can be part of the sexy action but will often find positions where they can watch what else is going on too. A voyeur may enjoy watching themselves, employing lots of mirrors to do so or videoing themselves and their partners. A voyeur could be very focused on simply watching the action all the time or they may also want to be involved in some way. It may depend on the situation or what kind voyeurism the voyeur enjoys.

An exhibitionist enjoys being watched. This may include exposing private parts of their body to onlookers or in a public space where someone might see or it might be indulging in play in front of an audience. It could also be more private, in a setting between a person and his/her lover/s. Exhibitionism can be combined with submission. This way a Dominate partner can order a sub to expose themselves in certain ways. They might order a sub to wear a short skirt and no knickers whilst out in public, or to wear ladies underwear under work clothes if it’s a male submissive. They might ask a submissive to do something at a play event so everyone there can see. Enjoying the thrill of being exposed, exhibitionists have to be careful not to do anything illegal. It is good for exhibitionists to play at play events where people are expecting to see partially naked and naked people. They can play our their fantasies and desires in a supportive atmosphere. It is fun to play in public, but exhibitionists have to be safe and keep their activities legal when they are out where there’s the possibility of members of the public seeing them.

An owner enjoys pet play but not by becoming pet-like at all. They are the responsible person who looks after the person playing as a cat, dog, pony or other animal. They are Dominant personalities with a kind, caring side. They take over complete control during pet play. Just as any owner would do with a pet. Owners pair up with pets. They may only ever pick one type of pet, being a dog person or a cat person for example, or they might like the variety of owning different pets. They will perform tasks such as grooming, feeding and putting down water for their pets. They may lock their pet in a cage if it’s appropriate. Dog and Cat Pet play owners will do lots of play and grooming activities with their pets. There may be elements of training, rewarding positive behaviour and punishing bad. An owner may choose to lead their pet around on a lead or have a special collar for them that looks just like that of an animal pet. Pony owners might not focus so much on play. Pony play can come in different forms but will include training the pony to do specific tricks and/or having them pull a carriage of some sort or carry a person on their back. Owners take pride in looking after and showing off their pets. They may own one or more. There is a strong bond between an owner and their pet, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it is a monogamous relationship. There can be a sexual element in an owner and pet’s play but often it is all about the dynamic between the pet and the owner. Owners enjoy taking on the responsibilities so that the pet can lose all human inhibitions and completely become a pet for a period of time.

A pet is a submissive who enjoys taking on aspects of a domesticated animal. Pets enjoy the freedom of being animal-like. They leave all adult responsibility behind to play like their chosen pet. There are many different levels of pet play. Some pets enjoy dressing up with masks and gloves so that the pet can’t speak or use their hands as humans would. Other’s just like to act like pets without any particular specialist gear. There can be a sexual element to pet play but quite often it is just simply about play and the power dynamic between the Owner and their dearly beloved pet.

A degrader (degradation giver) uses humiliation and degradation to embarrass their submissive. This is done in a consensual way, knowing that the degradation receiver finds it sexually arousing. It is not something every submissive will enjoy and needs lots of conversations around levels and boundaries. Degradation givers are usually Dominants in a relationship and get a thrill out of the intense submission from the degradation receiver who does anything to make his or her Dominant happy, even (and especially) if they have to humiliate or embarrass themselves in the process.

A degradation receiver (degradee) gets turned on by being humiliated, degraded and/or embarrassed in a sexual or kink context. This is a consensual activity where both parties enjoy this play and have strict rules and boundaries in place. A degradation receiver is more than likely going to be a submissive. Degradation receivers find being treated in such a way, as a person’s property, to be very arousing. They may enjoy being objectified too. Actually used as a piece of furniture for their Dominant to use or just talked about in a way you wouldn’t talk about another human being in everyday conversation. They may enjoy being ignored or ordered around too.

Non-monogamists break with the societal tradition of having just one partner at a time. They will prefer to be in an open relationship. They can be called polyamorous. They don’t see sex or kink as something to keep between themselves and just one other person. They can have several partners at once, these can be just for play or more serious relationships. Every non-monogamist will have different approaches to non-monogamy. Polyamorists will have, or look to be in, more than one relationship. These will be more than play and sex, and involve a romantic and/or intimate aspect. Swingers may be married or in a committed relationship with one person but they will indulge in kink or sexual play with other people too. Swingers can be single, it’s not all about wife-swapping. Anyone not in a monogamous relationship can be referred as polyamorous. Non-monogamists can indulge in all kinds of fetishes and kink play. They can be Dominant, submissive or switch if they’re into BDSM. They will rarely be slaves as devotion to one Master or Mistress doesn’t come easy to them. However, they might work well in a relationship with multiple slaves and one or more Dominant partner.

Monogamy is when you have one relationship at a time. It is the expected norm in vanilla relationships but is also very popular in the kink community too. In vanilla society, monogamists partner up with just one other person and that is often for many years at a time. Some get married, others have civil unions but any relationship between two people with a sexual/romantic connection is counted as monogamy. Within BDSM the definition is slightly different, in that a monogamous Dom and sub are likely to keep most kink and sexual play between themselves. Strict monogamists will commit to only having kink or sexual play with one person. The line between monogamy and non-monogamy is definitely blurred. However, there are those within monogamy who aren’t quite as strict. They may have exceptions to the rule of only being with their partner. For example, when it comes to play. If one partner is into a particular fetish or aspect of BDSM that the other doesn’t enjoy they may do this one thing with another, pre-agreed person from time to time. They may have agreements that allow for one partner to demonstrate certain BDSM play with others or that the person can be a rope bunny for another person under certain circumstances.

An all-rounder enjoys a little bit of everything. They don’t have a preference to being dominant or submissive and are happy to switch between them both. They are happy to try everything once! All-rounders are similar to experimentalists but they don’t have the same drive to keep trying new things. They’re happy to try new things or stick to whatever their partners like. They are very laid back with no real, deep desires of their own for any one kink or fetish. As they enjoy variety, all-rounders are good for all kinds of scene. They will be eager to try new things and will also be good at suggesting new things to try or add in to a scene to give it a different twist. All-rounders enjoy making other people happy so they’re fantastic partners for anyone because of their enthusiasm. All-rounders might not have the same passion that some people with specific fetishes and kinks do but they are more flexible. Happy to try out new things, they’re not set in their ways or reluctant to do something different. An all-rounder is the kind of person who will happily be the exhibitionist one day and a voyeur the next. They’ll be your slave for a while then will be your dominant. Variety is the key to a happy all-rounder.

Vanilla people stick to the standards in sexual play and roles. For example they’re most likely to be in heterosexual, monogamous relationships. By sheer definition members of the LGBTQI community aren’t vanilla even though you could argue what the definition of standard is when referencing sexuality. There’s nothing wrong with this, even though vanilla is often used as a derogatory term by kinksters. It’s often seen as being boring and normal. However, not everyone has a particular fetish or kink and so vanilla sex is exactly what they need and want. Some vanilla people will go on to find out they have specific fetishes and kinks but the majority will be happy always having vanilla interactions. Keeping to what they know is a driving factor for vanilla people. Knowing what will happen in a sexual interaction is important to them. They’re likely to have lots of limits on what they will do.

Switch is the BDSM term for someone who isn’t always just Dominant or only submissive, they are a combination of the two. They enjoy being the top in a scene sometimes but are equally as comfortable being the bottom at other times. They have a real desire for both but may be more Dominant or more submissive. Switches don’t tend to have a 50/50 split Dom or sub. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }

People who enjoy letting out their inner animal instincts are known as primal. Some primals have a naturally submissive side and so they are known as primal prey. Primal prey enjoy being chased. They won’t necessarily just roll over and let the Dominant have their way though, Prey like to fight back. Prey are primal meaning they enjoy acting on baser instincts. Instead of complying with the rules of polite society they act only on their instincts. Some prey take on specific animal traits. Some become like wolves or foxes. They might be sea creature like or a big cat. They might identify with a gorilla. Other prey take aspects from all different kinds of animals or even just baser human instincts. Although submissive in nature, prey are primal meaning they do a lot of fighting. This is often sexual in nature but can just be about power exchange too. Biting, scratching, hair pulling and all kinds of punching and kicking can be employed by a cornered prey. Primal play has no particular rules and can be very unpredictable. Prey will fight on and on, until they are beaten into submission.

Essentially primals enjoy fighting. Hunters are the Dominant primals. They will hunt down their prey and try everything they can to control the prey. This can involve all kinds of actions from biting and scratching, to kicking and hitting. Also mental tricks can be used by primal hunters to subdue their prey. This is known as a mind fuck. Although most primal play is physical, a proportion of it can be mental. Primal hunters may identify with certain powerful animals such as lions, tigers, gorillas, wolves, foxes for example. They may just be generally animalistic or might not think of themselves as animals at all. They could just act upon their baser, human instincts. A primal hunter has only one aim, to find prey and make that prey submit to their Dominance. A primal hunter isn’t bothered about using fancy kit, in fact most primal hunters will use nothing more than their bare hands. They don’t look for unquestioned obedience, they want their submissive to fight back. They don’t want obedience to be given to them they want to take their prey’s submission from them. The more fighting the better!

A submissive likes to be controlled, relishing someone else taking responsibility away from them. Some are subservient and submit willingly. Others are brattier and put up a fight. There are also submissives who will fight sometimes and be subservient at others. Submission can be confined to the bedroom or only taken out to BDSM and Fetish clubs and dungeons or it can used in all kinds of day to day situations. Some submissives chose to be subservient in all their roles, others take on submission to escape the responsibilities of work and family life. Submissives let someone else take control. They may have a list of rules to abide by set by their Dom/Domme. If rules are broken then there will be punishments too as well as rewards for good behaviour. Some submissives love to be naughty and punished, others want to be good and strive to do their best and be rewarded. Others will want a mix of the two. It isn’t all about humiliation and degradation for a submissive, unlike other bottoms they are more concerned with being subservient and giving over control to another person. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }