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Monogamous

Monogamous Archetype in BDSM

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Are people monogamous in BDSM relationships?

Overview
Kinky members who are or like: Monogamous
Which BDSM archetype matches well with a monogamist?
How do monogamous kinksters symbolise their relationship?
Magazine articles that include: Monogamous
Threads and discussions that include: Monogamous
BDSM dates with kinksters looking for: Monogamous
Monogamy is when you have one relationship at a time. It is the expected norm in vanilla relationships but is also very popular in the kink community too. In vanilla society, monogamists partner up with just one other person and that is often for many years at a time. Some get married, others have civil unions but any relationship between two people with a sexual/romantic connection is counted as monogamy.

Within BDSM the definition is slightly different, in that a monogamous Dom and sub are likely to keep most kink and sexual play between themselves. Strict monogamists will commit to only having kink or sexual play with one person.

The line between monogamy and non-monogamy is definitely blurred. However, there are those within monogamy who aren’t quite as strict. They may have exceptions to the rule of only being with their partner. For example, when it comes to play. If one partner is into a particular fetish or aspect of BDSM that the other doesn’t enjoy they may do this one thing with another, pre-agreed person from time to time. They may have agreements that allow for one partner to demonstrate certain BDSM play with others or that the person can be a rope bunny for another person under certain circumstances.

Which BDSM archetype matches well with a monogamist?

The general rule of thumb is that if the vast majority of your BDSM, romantic and sexual play is with one specific partner, you are monogamous. If you regularly play with others in any of these aspects, then you are more likely to be non-monogamous and match with another non-monogamous kinkster.

How do monogamous kinksters symbolise their relationship?

A connection could be symbolised with a collar, which has a similar purpose to a wedding ring. There can also be a collaring service which is very much like a wedding as people gather to watch two people commit to one another to the exclusion of others.

Threads and discussions that include: Monogamous

  • In the past (like before Poly was even a thing) I had been in many relationships that were NOT exclusive. Some went well, some not so much, but that's to be expected.. However if I truly cared about ...
    • 12 replies
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  • I’m dating someone who wants to be monogamous and so do I but I have a fantasy that seems to clash with monogamy so I’m wondering if it’s normal and if I should be upset with my partner for not accept ...
    • 13 replies
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  • Would you say that this community is suitable mostly for open relationship/polygamous people, rather than monogamous relationship in order to build a family etc? ...
    • 38 replies

    • Members looking for: Monogamous

    tampa70498
    Straight white male wants to secretly date femboy

    About 10 yrs ago I was at a party in the military and I ended up passing out on the couch. I was woken up in the middle of the night by the party host sucking on my dick. I had never been with a guy before, don't find men attractive, but I didn't tell him to stop because it felt so damn good. Even to this days it's one of the best BJs I've ever gotten and I always think about it. Never hooked up with a dude since and I've always been with women.
    I've finally decided I want to recreate something like that. I would prefer to find a trans or a femboy as I really am not attracted to men. Prefer people closer to my age or younger. If me and my partner click I would really like to date (behind closed doors) a femboy and we could hookup regularly and talk during the day. I'm not the type to have a bunch of random hookups only have had monogamous heterosexual relationships in the past. This will probably be something I end up doing and remembering forever. Hopefully I could find a partner with a strong fetish for straight guys trying something new so this could be special for both of us and not just another hookup.
    I live in Florida; however if you really feel like this post interests you I would consider flying out for the right person. That's how good the head was! I still think about to this day I would totally flight out for the right partner. Sometimes I have to stop myself from touching my dick when thinking about it because I feel guilty.
    Yes, I can share pictures of my face with you but let me get to know you a tiny bit beforehand. I don't want anyone knowing I'm seeking this out. I'm white, 33 yo, 6'3, brown hair, blue eyes, and the father of multiple ***. If this post interested you and you'd like to hear more please reach out to me. This is my first time talking about it and I'm enjoying myself. Also if you think you're the right match for me to do this again with let me know!
    Kinky Date ● 18 to 45 years ● 500km around USA Tampa
    Write for free Create free personal
    Jakesir
    Come find me

    Looking for non monogamous fwb for dates rope sub local to Hudson County NJ open to seeing vibes fun silly but toxic woman
    NSA ● 18 to 80 years ● Kinky Kouture New Jersey in USA Jersey City
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    Satyr_in_Dublin
    Demisexual Primal and Satyr

    The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are -Jung

    Dublin based

    I travel occasionally around ROI/NI for work .

    Also, I am a big fan of travelling around the Mediterranean Sea.

    Please be Sex positive, Sapiosexual, Nymphomaniac, Poly friendly ..

    I'm looking for a soulmate/a kinky play partner/chatting/ really no expectations. I usually go with the flow of the connection as we get to know each other.

    I like to talk about psychology, philosophy,Ancient cultures,Jung,MBTI, Non-monogamy,Zizek,Alan Watts, Ram Dass, playing bass, amps, bass effects, multiple female orgasms, squirting orgasms, role playing, kinky or alternative lifestyles.

    You think we match? Say hi 😁 .

    Dominant
    Satyr
    Primal
    Non monogamous
    RACK
    4C (Consent Care Communication Caution)

    INTJ
    Empath
    Healer
    Sapiosexual
    Demisexual

    FL: Satyr_in_Dublin

    I am STI and drama free 😜...I hope you are too, if you want to have a conversation with me. ☺️

    Kinky me:
    I am highly dominant, hypersexual and into kinky role playing, rough sex, manhandling and sex marathons.

    I am primal and orgasm focused Dominant. I really enjoy giving multiple and squirting orgasms. I am into orgasm control, denial, and giving multiple orgasms.
    BDSM Play Partner ● 18 to 80 years ● 550km around Ireland Dublin
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    Similar to Monogamous

    Non-monogamists break with the societal tradition of having just one partner at a time. They will prefer to be in an open relationship. They can be called polyamorous. They don’t see sex or kink as something to keep between themselves and just one other person. They can have several partners at once, these can be just for play or more serious relationships. Every non-monogamist will have different approaches to non-monogamy. Polyamorists will have, or look to be in, more than one relationship. These will be more than play and sex, and involve a romantic and/or intimate aspect. Swingers may be married or in a committed relationship with one person but they will indulge in kink or sexual play with other people too. Swingers can be single, it’s not all about wife-swapping. Anyone not in a monogamous relationship can be referred as polyamorous. Non-monogamists can indulge in all kinds of fetishes and kink play. They can be Dominant, submissive or switch if they’re into BDSM. They will rarely be slaves as devotion to one Master or Mistress doesn’t come easy to them. However, they might work well in a relationship with multiple slaves and one or more Dominant partner.
    Vanilla people stick to the standards in sexual play and roles. For example they’re most likely to be in heterosexual, monogamous relationships. By sheer definition members of the LGBTQI community aren’t vanilla even though you could argue what the definition of standard is when referencing sexuality. There’s nothing wrong with this, even though vanilla is often used as a derogatory term by kinksters. It’s often seen as being boring and normal. However, not everyone has a particular fetish or kink and so vanilla sex is exactly what they need and want. Some vanilla people will go on to find out they have specific fetishes and kinks but the majority will be happy always having vanilla interactions. Keeping to what they know is a driving factor for vanilla people. Knowing what will happen in a sexual interaction is important to them. They’re likely to have lots of limits on what they will do.
    Switch is the BDSM term for someone who isn’t always just Dominant or only submissive, they are a combination of the two. They enjoy being the top in a scene sometimes but are equally as comfortable being the bottom at other times. They have a real desire for both but may be more Dominant or more submissive. Switches don’t tend to have a 50/50 split Dom or sub. .embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }