About me
Interested in:
I’m looking for:
- Kinky Dates
- LTR (relationship)
- BDSM Lovers
- Cybersex
Description
New to Kink and willing to try it! Love me some leather.
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New to cybersex
Hello,
I want to get into cybersex especially since I have a hard time finding people around me. Any advice? Any red flags I should look for? Where are some sites, besides this one, that are good for roleplay?
I want to get into cybersex especially since I have a hard time finding people around me. Any advice? Any red flags I should look for? Where are some sites, besides this one, that are good for roleplay?
Likelockedundertow, max10769, fuze_odinsonand 17 more… · 12 Replies
Deleted profile I was outed from another site. All my friends saw it which was very uncomfortable I was outed from another site. All my friends saw it which was very uncomfortable
Like
31.07.2023 10:16:01
MisstressStorm Cautionary tale - my last sub , when we first cyber met. Was being blackmailed after partaking in to cyber sex / pic exchange. These scammers actively seek out men who are naive / thirsty or new to the kink scene. Sub was identifiable from his name and home town - scammers found him on another popular social media site and threatened to out him to his friends and family.
I hunted the scammers down and sorted it 😤 but the amount of grief it caused was tremendous. ⛈ Cautionary tale - my last sub , when we first cyber met. Was being blackmailed after partaking in to cyber sex / pic exchange. These scammers actively seek out men who are naive / thirsty or new to the kink scene. Sub was identifiable from his name and home town - scammers found him on another popular social media site and threatened to out him to his friends and family.
I hunted the scammers down and sorted it 😤 but the amount of grief it caused was tremendous. ⛈
I hunted the scammers down and sorted it 😤 but the amount of grief it caused was tremendous. ⛈ Cautionary tale - my last sub , when we first cyber met. Was being blackmailed after partaking in to cyber sex / pic exchange. These scammers actively seek out men who are naive / thirsty or new to the kink scene. Sub was identifiable from his name and home town - scammers found him on another popular social media site and threatened to out him to his friends and family.
I hunted the scammers down and sorted it 😤 but the amount of grief it caused was tremendous. ⛈
LikeJeffr0777, Hatter2904, TKK1and 1 more…
· 31.07.2023 9:59:57
Deleted profile I enjoy cybersex and phone sex. If done properly it feels so real and you get to know the person. Connection is key no matter if on phone, keyboard or a bed I enjoy cybersex and phone sex. If done properly it feels so real and you get to know the person. Connection is key no matter if on phone, keyboard or a bed
Likeclassicman
31.07.2023 9:54:28
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3 of 12
New to Kink and willing to try it! Love me some leather.
I'm Sorry But I'm Asexual (beginner BDSM book)
Thanks, guys. The book is called I'm Sorry But I'm Asexual. It's on wattpad and tapas.
Likefuze_odinson ·
Jump to discussion
I'm Sorry But I'm Asexual (beginner BDSM book)
I'm writing an Ace book about 18 year olds getting into kink. Links aren't allowed, so I can't refer you to he entire thing, but I thought I'd post the first kinky scene. :)
--
Landing on a tumblr page, he showed me artistic photos of different women being tied up or handcuffed. People presenting Read more…themselves in leather poses for the camera, some with masks. I had heard of this.
“I actually really like the idea of being handcuffed,” I said. Ethan became shocked. I understood where the surprise came from, especially since I seemed innocent and prudish. However, I felt so close enough to Ethan that I could open up. “I am so afraid of sex that I like the idea of it being taken away from me. Like jumping in the deep end.” His expression didn’t ease. “Consensually though.”
“Have you ever tried BDSM?”
“What’s that?”
“Bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.”
I knew what some of those words meant.
“So, you hurt yourself during it?”
“Sometimes.”
“Do you do BDSM?”
“Maybe.”
“I’d do it with you,” I said. Ethan’s mouth opened. I said, “What?”
“You’re afraid of sex.”
“That’s sort of the point. I guess I like the idea of transforming my fear.”
He hid his smile and tried not to laugh. “Well, I have rope…”
The idea didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would, and that scared me. Do I really want to deflower myself in this process? Once I had sex, I’d change. I’d be a different person. What if people found out I lost it by doing something ridiculous?
How bold.
“Just tie me. I want to know how it feels.”
‘Okay,” he cocked his head at the side of my new found confidence.
Under his bed, he had black rope. Taking it out, he started unwrapping it. “What are you okay with me doing to you?”
“I don’t know. Whatever you want.”
“No, I mean, like what do you really want? Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
Those words were so fucking hot.
“What do you want to do?”
“Uh…” Ethan laughed. “I had no idea you were so kinky?”
“No, I want to know,” I said, and then thought about it. “No, tell me after you tie me.”
“Okay…” Ethan raised his eyebrows. “Do you want to take off your clothes? It’ll be hard to do once you’re tied.”
“You don’t want to see me naked,” I said.
“Yes, I do.”
I didn’t believe him. Taking off my shirt, I dropped it on the floor and took off my pants. Laying in my underwear, I thought they’d be better than completely being in the nude. Good thing my underwear matched.
“Tie me,” I said and closed my eyes, raising my arms so they laid parallel to my head.
--
Landing on a tumblr page, he showed me artistic photos of different women being tied up or handcuffed. People presenting Read more…themselves in leather poses for the camera, some with masks. I had heard of this.
“I actually really like the idea of being handcuffed,” I said. Ethan became shocked. I understood where the surprise came from, especially since I seemed innocent and prudish. However, I felt so close enough to Ethan that I could open up. “I am so afraid of sex that I like the idea of it being taken away from me. Like jumping in the deep end.” His expression didn’t ease. “Consensually though.”
“Have you ever tried BDSM?”
“What’s that?”
“Bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.”
I knew what some of those words meant.
“So, you hurt yourself during it?”
“Sometimes.”
“Do you do BDSM?”
“Maybe.”
“I’d do it with you,” I said. Ethan’s mouth opened. I said, “What?”
“You’re afraid of sex.”
“That’s sort of the point. I guess I like the idea of transforming my fear.”
He hid his smile and tried not to laugh. “Well, I have rope…”
The idea didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would, and that scared me. Do I really want to deflower myself in this process? Once I had sex, I’d change. I’d be a different person. What if people found out I lost it by doing something ridiculous?
How bold.
“Just tie me. I want to know how it feels.”
‘Okay,” he cocked his head at the side of my new found confidence.
Under his bed, he had black rope. Taking it out, he started unwrapping it. “What are you okay with me doing to you?”
“I don’t know. Whatever you want.”
“No, I mean, like what do you really want? Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
Those words were so fucking hot.
“What do you want to do?”
“Uh…” Ethan laughed. “I had no idea you were so kinky?”
“No, I want to know,” I said, and then thought about it. “No, tell me after you tie me.”
“Okay…” Ethan raised his eyebrows. “Do you want to take off your clothes? It’ll be hard to do once you’re tied.”
“You don’t want to see me naked,” I said.
“Yes, I do.”
I didn’t believe him. Taking off my shirt, I dropped it on the floor and took off my pants. Laying in my underwear, I thought they’d be better than completely being in the nude. Good thing my underwear matched.
“Tie me,” I said and closed my eyes, raising my arms so they laid parallel to my head.
TheModernDeath Thanks, guys. The book is called I'm Sorry But I'm Asexual. It's on wattpad and tapas. Thanks, guys. The book is called I'm Sorry But I'm Asexual. It's on wattpad and tapas.
Likefuze_odinson
· 05.01.2023 4:01:49
FFG088 I would like to read about Asexuals & BDSM. Interactions, scenes and a guide for asexuals on how to get the most out of BDSM world and information and advice for their partners. I would like to read about Asexuals & BDSM. Interactions, scenes and a guide for asexuals on how to get the most out of BDSM world and information and advice for their partners.
LikePer-seus
· 01.01.2023 22:59:17
Per-seus i would so read this book i would so read this book
Like
· 01.01.2023 10:17:03
**TW** New to consensual non consent (Advice for a newbie dom?)
**Trigger Warning - Reason: Assault Experience**
Hello,
Two of my partners want to reenact their rape experiences with me. I've done something similar for my own trauma and it helped me heal a lot. We talked about it for a long time, and I got their consent. However, I am scared I'll mess it up. What advice do you have in engaging this? What would you tell a newbie dom?
Let me know if you need more info.
Note: We already have a safe word.
Hello,
Two of my partners want to reenact their rape experiences with me. I've done something similar for my own trauma and it helped me heal a lot. We talked about it for a long time, and I got their consent. However, I am scared I'll mess it up. What advice do you have in engaging this? What would you tell a newbie dom?
Let me know if you need more info.
Note: We already have a safe word.
CallMeCJ13 ➦CallMeCJ13 quote TheModernDeath:❝This doesn't make a lot of sense. We all have to start somewhere, and I like using forums. So, I went to a kink site because that's what felt the most comfortable to me. If you think it's silly to be on this site, why are you on here? To me other people's opinions Read more… is a valuable source of information.
What you're saying comes off very "You don't have any knowledge. HOWEVER, don't attain knowledge. That's stupid."
Are you sure you're a professional? I'd never trust someone like you who immediately judged me, made a bunch of assumptions about my words, and insulted me.
I'll take your warning since it's important. I understand I am not properly trained as a psychologist to deal with trauma. However I am not here because "I have no confidence". I am just came here, and to many other resources, to learn.
Thank you for your input.
Like you could have just said "Earn experience as a dom first. New Doms should participate in this" ? I would have gotten the same message??❞
Yaaa that definitely read a bit condescendingly to me too... You're absolutely right to be reaching out asking others' advice and opinions, and I'm pretty sure that's one of the ways most of us have learned at least something about the kink world at some point. That's one of the main things this community is made for, not to shit on someone looking to learn! (Unless that's what does it for you 😅🤷♂️😬)
But ya, the constructive responses you got so far have been good ones... My advice is just going to echo them for the most part, but I'll emphasize even more the importance of communication. The more you guys talk about things in detail the more you'll understand the kind of experience they're wanting and how to actually go about it, as well as the more comfortable you'll both feel about it. Also, just because it's essentially a rape roleplay doesn't mean you can't still be conscious and considerate of the experience she's having... Pay attention to her body language and watch to see if she seems to be feeling excited and that good type of nervous, or if she's seeming uncomfortable or like she's genuinely not enjoying something you're doing; just try your best to do the things that turn her on and are gonna make the experience what she's looking for. I'm sure you're going to enjoy it no matter what right? 🙃
As long as you're comfortable with each other and you understand what she's wanting and where her comfort zone is/ends, you should have a good idea how you're gonna go about things, then just adjust what you do and the intensity of it based off her reactions. Make sure she knows it's ok to use the safe word/gesture. I like to periodically ask her how she's doing (usually dressed up playfully or as praise or degradation) and she'll respond "green, yellow, or red," which I'm sure you get the jist of. Be confident in yourself and your actions during the scene.. don't be afraid to get a little rough with her as long as you're aware of her limits, paying attention to her body language, and she knows to communicate with you throughout things. Have a good time exploring different roleplay scenarios for it. And most definitely put just as much into the after-care and communicating afterwards! Sorry for the long messy post, but hopefully it helps in some way
What you're saying comes off very "You don't have any knowledge. HOWEVER, don't attain knowledge. That's stupid."
Are you sure you're a professional? I'd never trust someone like you who immediately judged me, made a bunch of assumptions about my words, and insulted me.
I'll take your warning since it's important. I understand I am not properly trained as a psychologist to deal with trauma. However I am not here because "I have no confidence". I am just came here, and to many other resources, to learn.
Thank you for your input.
Like you could have just said "Earn experience as a dom first. New Doms should participate in this" ? I would have gotten the same message??❞
Yaaa that definitely read a bit condescendingly to me too... You're absolutely right to be reaching out asking others' advice and opinions, and I'm pretty sure that's one of the ways most of us have learned at least something about the kink world at some point. That's one of the main things this community is made for, not to shit on someone looking to learn! (Unless that's what does it for you 😅🤷♂️😬)
But ya, the constructive responses you got so far have been good ones... My advice is just going to echo them for the most part, but I'll emphasize even more the importance of communication. The more you guys talk about things in detail the more you'll understand the kind of experience they're wanting and how to actually go about it, as well as the more comfortable you'll both feel about it. Also, just because it's essentially a rape roleplay doesn't mean you can't still be conscious and considerate of the experience she's having... Pay attention to her body language and watch to see if she seems to be feeling excited and that good type of nervous, or if she's seeming uncomfortable or like she's genuinely not enjoying something you're doing; just try your best to do the things that turn her on and are gonna make the experience what she's looking for. I'm sure you're going to enjoy it no matter what right? 🙃
As long as you're comfortable with each other and you understand what she's wanting and where her comfort zone is/ends, you should have a good idea how you're gonna go about things, then just adjust what you do and the intensity of it based off her reactions. Make sure she knows it's ok to use the safe word/gesture. I like to periodically ask her how she's doing (usually dressed up playfully or as praise or degradation) and she'll respond "green, yellow, or red," which I'm sure you get the jist of. Be confident in yourself and your actions during the scene.. don't be afraid to get a little rough with her as long as you're aware of her limits, paying attention to her body language, and she knows to communicate with you throughout things. Have a good time exploring different roleplay scenarios for it. And most definitely put just as much into the after-care and communicating afterwards! Sorry for the long messy post, but hopefully it helps in some way
Like
· 16.04.2022 17:43:11
TheModernDeath ➦TheModernDeath quote Deleted profile:❝Do they have safe words? And I would still go over a conservation before and after the scene. Remember aftercare is important.❞
Yes! We've been participating in BDSM for a while and def have a safe word.
➦TheModernDeath quote Therapist:❝Lots of communication Read more… and talking thro what's gonna happen before, during and after. They feel safe to talk about it and go thro it with you so don't worry too much about messing it up. Safe words and actions are extremely important. Rape play is to be raped as such but with that safety net that if suddenly it too much then it stops and that is top. After Care extremely important. You obviously have a very good setup an understanding with them already or what they wanna do wouldn't be on the table❞
Got it. Go through a step by step. Yes, safety is important! It's partly why I want support--I don't want to hurt someone.
➦TheModernDeath quote CopperKnob:❝I may be in the minority given that i read so much about this being positive and im very clear that for some kink may be therapeutic but it is not therapy so id be treading extremely carefully.
Yep, safewords and aftercare are obvious. Its the communication during the planning for me. The what where and the why questions i think are most important
EG
Why do they feel they want/need to do CNC
What are they wanting to achieve
What are their triggers/absolute no's
Where are they in their recovery/healing
Did they receive support following the trauma. What did that look like
Its not exhaustive, im not a Dtype and you may already have discussed the above.
I also feel that you all need to be transparent and honest in that CNC may end up being a negative experience, that will require more than aftercare. What plans are in place to manage that?❞
These are excellent questions! Thank you! Okay, yes--I also feared that it would end up negatively. I've had a very deep conversation about this with them. Tonight I'll show them everything everyone said and see if CnC is something they want to do.
➦TheModernDeath quote TallDrake:❝Get them to write down clearly what they want to experience.❞
This is such a good idea! I'll ask them if they will be willing to do that. Mostly because if they can't write it down, I fear it would be too unsafe to engage with CnC.
Yes! We've been participating in BDSM for a while and def have a safe word.
➦TheModernDeath quote Therapist:❝Lots of communication Read more… and talking thro what's gonna happen before, during and after. They feel safe to talk about it and go thro it with you so don't worry too much about messing it up. Safe words and actions are extremely important. Rape play is to be raped as such but with that safety net that if suddenly it too much then it stops and that is top. After Care extremely important. You obviously have a very good setup an understanding with them already or what they wanna do wouldn't be on the table❞
Got it. Go through a step by step. Yes, safety is important! It's partly why I want support--I don't want to hurt someone.
➦TheModernDeath quote CopperKnob:❝I may be in the minority given that i read so much about this being positive and im very clear that for some kink may be therapeutic but it is not therapy so id be treading extremely carefully.
Yep, safewords and aftercare are obvious. Its the communication during the planning for me. The what where and the why questions i think are most important
EG
Why do they feel they want/need to do CNC
What are they wanting to achieve
What are their triggers/absolute no's
Where are they in their recovery/healing
Did they receive support following the trauma. What did that look like
Its not exhaustive, im not a Dtype and you may already have discussed the above.
I also feel that you all need to be transparent and honest in that CNC may end up being a negative experience, that will require more than aftercare. What plans are in place to manage that?❞
These are excellent questions! Thank you! Okay, yes--I also feared that it would end up negatively. I've had a very deep conversation about this with them. Tonight I'll show them everything everyone said and see if CnC is something they want to do.
➦TheModernDeath quote TallDrake:❝Get them to write down clearly what they want to experience.❞
This is such a good idea! I'll ask them if they will be willing to do that. Mostly because if they can't write it down, I fear it would be too unsafe to engage with CnC.
Like
· 13.04.2022 8:42:46
TheModernDeath ➦TheModernDeath quote Deleted profile:❝I'd tell a newbie dom to have a reality check, you hardly have experience as a dom & you want to jump in & do something that could be extremely traumatic without the knowledge & skills to deal with the the emotional & psychological issues that Read more… could arise from this - you could open up a can worms & cause more harm & then not have a clue how to deal with this.
Do you really think if something takes a turn for the worst that you have the knowledge to deal with the situation, to manage their emotional & psychological state & pain - you going through similar yourself isn't enough to give you the skill-set needed to cope in these kind of situations when they don't go as you hoped.
I believe managing trauma & abuse can be done within BDSM & have done it myself before, however, Im trained in counselling, psychology, mentoring, substance misuse plus other courses & worked within support & have a lot of life experience of trauma & abuse myself so feel I have the knowledge & experience to work with people issues but you have no confidence in your abilities & are asking on a kink site for advice & how to do it & frankly NO ONE should give you any other advice than DON'T!❞
This doesn't make a lot of sense. We all have to start somewhere, and I like using forums. So, I went to a kink site because that's what felt the most comfortable to me. If you think it's silly to be on this site, why are you on here? To me other people's opinions is a valuable source of information.
What you're saying comes off very "You don't have any knowledge. HOWEVER, don't attain knowledge. That's stupid."
Are you sure you're a professional? I'd never trust someone like you who immediately judged me, made a bunch of assumptions about my words, and insulted me.
I'll take your warning since it's important. I understand I am not properly trained as a psychologist to deal with trauma. However I am not here because "I have no confidence". I am just came here, and to many other resources, to learn.
Thank you for your input.
Like you could have just said "Earn experience as a dom first. New Doms should participate in this" ? I would have gotten the same message??
Do you really think if something takes a turn for the worst that you have the knowledge to deal with the situation, to manage their emotional & psychological state & pain - you going through similar yourself isn't enough to give you the skill-set needed to cope in these kind of situations when they don't go as you hoped.
I believe managing trauma & abuse can be done within BDSM & have done it myself before, however, Im trained in counselling, psychology, mentoring, substance misuse plus other courses & worked within support & have a lot of life experience of trauma & abuse myself so feel I have the knowledge & experience to work with people issues but you have no confidence in your abilities & are asking on a kink site for advice & how to do it & frankly NO ONE should give you any other advice than DON'T!❞
This doesn't make a lot of sense. We all have to start somewhere, and I like using forums. So, I went to a kink site because that's what felt the most comfortable to me. If you think it's silly to be on this site, why are you on here? To me other people's opinions is a valuable source of information.
What you're saying comes off very "You don't have any knowledge. HOWEVER, don't attain knowledge. That's stupid."
Are you sure you're a professional? I'd never trust someone like you who immediately judged me, made a bunch of assumptions about my words, and insulted me.
I'll take your warning since it's important. I understand I am not properly trained as a psychologist to deal with trauma. However I am not here because "I have no confidence". I am just came here, and to many other resources, to learn.
Thank you for your input.
Like you could have just said "Earn experience as a dom first. New Doms should participate in this" ? I would have gotten the same message??
LikeCallMeCJ13
· 13.04.2022 8:22:53
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