***d Sex Fantasy/Role Play?

[NG123]

Hello all. Im very new to this sort of thing but have had interest in these things for awhile. Recently discussed these things with my boyfriend. We both have Expressed interest in roleplay, and i have expressed interest in a ***d sex fantasy. The only thing is I have no idea how to get started. He's a bit bashful on the topic but i know for a fact that he is interested in both. 

My question is, where do we start? What's a good "beginner" roleplay. He's into quite a lot, so much so that I don't even know the half of it but we both want to start exploring this part of our sex life. Does anyone have any suggestions to start? I can find many role-play scenarios online but its hard to find ***d sex fantasy ones. Any and all responses are appreciated!!

 

~N

[le****]

Hey, we understand that ***d sex role play can be an emotive theme for some, so responses will be carefully moderated.  While ***d sex fantasy is pretty normal, the most important is to understand what's involved and decide on how to go about carrying it out safely, sanely and to avoid any legal pitfalls. 

There's a very good article on Slut Lessons that talks about this subject in a lot of detail. I suggest that you check it out.  https://slutlessons.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/***-fantasy-how-to-carry-it-out-safely/      

[Snakee]

Speaking from experience (that's one of my big kinks btw👍😁) you should start with watching porn in this genre and discussing it between the two of you what would be the common interest. Also, it's not clear if you wanna practice this just between the two of you, or you're talking about a "public disgrace" kinda setting... Either way, porn on the topic is always a good starting point. I'm not saying to reenact it right away (it has worked for me, but definitely not for all), but to figure out what could work for your ***d sex fantasy. 😊

[Deleted Member]

On 1/31/2020 at 11:30 AM, Snakee said:

porn on the topic is always a good starting point

While I partially agree with Snake, I would like to stress that porn is a guide, not a rule. It will give you ideas, help you understand what you are interested in, but it should not be perceived as factual. I do not know if Snake meant it as a guide, but I wanted to clarify that just in case. Porn will give you ideas, not instructions.

 

My suggestion would be to discuss it at length, first. Communicate before, definitely during, and after. Confirm safe words, make sure you both understand what you want to happen, but of course try to enjoy it. Some improvisation will make it feel much more organic, but do not be afraid to pause and resume, or slow down. If you need to stop and try again later, that is not a bad thing. You are exploring a ***d sex fantasy.

 

The first question to ask yourself is; how do you two personally define ***d sex? Are you thinking of CNC/***play, or something else?

[RayneBloBrite]

All the other members give valid points and wonderful advice. Thank you to the moderators for doing, from my experience, a great job with this site! To NG123 I would like to add that perhaps journaling your fantasies could help, especially if bf is bashful about talking it out, which is understandable, especially just beginning your kinky journey together. It could be a letter to each other, story form, drawings, bullet points, or simply a list of do's and dont's. Whatever works best for you, as long as it is open and honest. Good luck to you both and feel free to msg me should you need a sounding board, or would just like a chat. I'm no expert, but a fair listener, I believe.

[NG123]

Thank you everyone for the replies! Sorry its taken me a few days to read your replies. Thank you, @leocadio for your link. I will read into that. And @Snakee, yes we are currently just looking to practice with just us 2 (at the moment, but we actually haven't discussed a public thing, although that does sound interesting.... 🤔)

 

As for @DanteReign, i agree, porn is a a guide, nothing more nothing less. I find it hard to find porn in that category that caters to my specific tastes, although plenty of other porn I indulge in does. Its just the ***play area i cant find much on, which is why i made an account here. To get info from people who may be more experienced than me, as well as accepting! Thank you for your advice and i will be considering it.

 

As for @RayneBloBrite that's a very good idea, journaling these things. Thank you so much for your input and advise. And thank you for willing to talk and listen! That means a lot

 

I hope all who gave replies are doing well. I appreciate every response  about ***d sex fantasy 

[NG123]

We introduced handcuffs and butt plugs into the mix today, and it was very enjoyable and it already feels like our sex life is being spiced up. Although we definitely decided we want more, progress is being made! Thank you everyone

[NG123]

And @DanteReign (sorry, just learned how to tag, lol) im not really sure what CNC means, but ***play is what i mean. I find the idea of someone im with forcing me to bottom for them very hot to me. But that's not all, we also just want to generally roleplay, it does not have to be ***play or ***d sex fantasy role-play. Just general roleplay

 Since he's so bashful it's hard to get specifics out of him but after sex today things have already begun to feel "loosened up" if that makes sense. Sorry for the long edit!

 

[ey****]

25 minutes ago, NG123 said:

im not really sure what CNC means

CNC is Consensual Non Consent

For a simple idea - under CNC play the sub would pretty much do anything the Dom asked and this would usually push around limits (but there'd be enough trust to not take things too far...) and any form of ***d sex is CNC 

[ey****]

(I say any - obviously when it's non-consensual ***d sex then it's a no/no - but I think we all as adults here know the difference) 

[NG123]

Thank you @eyemblacksheep for that clarification. Everything here will be consensual, but played as non-consentual. And of course will discuss boundaries and safe words and such beforehand. Again, thank you for the information. As i said before for everyone, not just you, I'm very new to fetish's and kinks so this is very helpful. 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, NG123 said:

hard to find porn in that category that caters to my specific tastes

I understand your struggle, and that is why I write my own stories. I am actually writing a ***play trilogy on Literotica, which might give you some ideas or inspiration.

 

Consensual Non-Consent is when one or more participants pretends to not want to do the activity, but is in fact fully willing. I think (though I have not fully contemplated the matter) all ***play is CNC, but not all CNC is ***play. It is a dangerous roleplay that requires a lot of communication and trust, especially with the use of Safeties.

 

I wish you luck with your exploration.

[Deleted Member]

I've actually been through this and it was very surprising when my girlfriend asked for it. I said sure, but mentally went through a lot of questions. We basically took it in kind of gradual steps. First determined how much physical *** she liked. We had a limit for that aspect, she wanted to be spanked and ***d held down, slapped on her tits, hair pulled, but not punched, ***d, thrown around. I didn't really want to "hurt" her and she didn't want to be "hurt". Once that was established she did say, anything goes. I'm being ***d, use me. Then we mutually decided on a place and situation, there was a park we always went to that had some secluded areas. She only let me do anal twice in three years up to that but said, find me in the park, act like you don't know me, push me against a tree and take my ass. I kind of felt weird about how much that turned me on and discussed it with her but she said she really wanted it. We tried it, it was kind of fumbly at first. It eventually turned into not so much ***, but her being dominated, we did find a level that worked and how much she would take, just be open and work up to it. She did at one point grab my hand and put it on her throat even though I was the one "raping" her. But I then knew, that's what she wants, no problem.  I was willing to do whatever she wanted and loved all of it but never went too far without her implying it was okay. Do you want to be ambushed in your driveway? Do you want someone to break and and be rough? What worked for us was she thought about the situation and I followed through. That's a pretty safe method. And don't be afraid to be truthful!! If you're close enough nothing is taboo. I lost all reluctance and got crazy, even when one night I was horny and turned her over and she said no, not that tonight, I decided to hold her down and "***" it, a few seconds later she was pushing back on me, enjoying it. But, and a very big but, in that moment I thought, oh she likes this, what she asked for. Had she said, no, I'm serious, don't, I would have understood and COMPLETELY stopped. So you really gotta just find this level of feeling the mood. She liked being used more than being physically hurt. It was super hot when I could act like I was pimping her out for *** and let strangers fuck her. I'd make her suck me while some dude fucked her in a parking lot. But it wasn't pimping her out, she liked sex, why wouldn't I giver her what she liked? People confuse sex with love.  I always knew I was going to bed with her and having breakfast with her and sharing laughs. And I always say this, I think the sub is more powerful because they have the strength to put themselves in that situation.

Edited April 12, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Ky****]

On 2/3/2020 at 6:42 AM, NG123 said:

We introduced handcuffs and butt plugs into the mix today, and it was very enjoyable and it already feels like our sex life is being spiced up. Although we definitely decided we want more, progress is being made! Thank you everyone

since you've already added handcuffs that's getting into the '***d' scenarios, years ago I found being tied gagged and left for a while heightened the feeling of being ***d, my other half continued with mundane things and takes me  at intervals, I don't know when and having let him tie me up can't really resist anyway, its what I wanted so its consensual just role plays makes it ***d sex fantasy not real.

[Catalyst87]

I suggest that you discuss it first and make sure you're both on the same page. Safe words reiterated etc

Then I would say start sex off the way you normally would and when he starts getting in 'the zone' playfully push back a little, then give in then push back. That should annoy him enough to get him to pin you down. You want to be playful at first and maybe tease him a little so he knows you're OK with what he's doing. Maybe push his buttons a bit by saying things like 'I bet you couldn't keep me pinned down' 

It may be a slow progression but it's about building trust and comfort and figuring out how far you want to take it. 

 

[Catalyst87]

On 2/3/2020 at 2:56 PM, DanteReign said:

I understand your struggle, and that is why I write my own stories. I am actually writing a ***play trilogy on Literotica, which might give you some ideas 

Hi, do you have a link? 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, TheAlphaSub said:

Hi, do you have a link? 

You are not allowed to post links on this website, but I will message you privately.

[subchef72]

My wife and I have done this a few times. As others have stated, make sure you talk about what you both want out of the scenario and what will be the hard limits of the activity.

Her ***d sex fantasy was to be surprised at home when she thought she was alone. She gave me a few scenarios that aroused and let me decide when to act.

I hid one evening while she was in the bath. As she came out of the bathroom, with nothing but a towel on, I surprised her. I was fully clothed and wearing a mask. We "struggled" and I overpowered her. I cuffed her wrists behind her back and proceeded to have my way with her.

We both ended up enjoying it immensely. We have played out the "***d" fantasy several times since, mostly with me as the "victim" since I am a submissive at heart.

Talk to one another, set limits and have fun exploring your fantasy.

 

[Ta****]

I think the good thing about "***d" sex fantasy play, is that it is not really ***d at all is it!.  Because the person, or Submissive is really choosing, not just their "abductor" but the type of scenario itself.  So there is a huge difference between real ***d sex and fantasy.   

The 'abductee' is the one who is, or should be, in control of the whole scene, from start to finish.

I find the very idea of fantasy abduction pretty hot, but it needs a real level of trust between the acting characters.  And you don't want onlookers ( if any) to get the wrong idea either.

[Desperate-5256]

I am new here too, so i hope i harm no one with what my mistress does. My mistress ***d me with blackmail into a whore, i am it now for 23 years. In the beginning she tied me up on a chair and put make up on me and made pictures from me. She told me if i don't obey all her needs she would put those pictures on my facebook page for every one to see. This made me totally powerless. Soon she ordered me to do my make ups 4 times a day, i really hate to do that but i have no choice. Sometimes she toke me to a club where they have glory holes and i must suck the dicks that comes throe those holes. This is how she started with me to ***d sex.

[ol****]

Desperate, what you describe is not role play it's something else.

You need help but I doubt it's the sort of help you can get here.

[Deleted Member]

This discussion is an example of why I generally love this site and the people here. Intelligent and mature discussion of a controversial sexual topic is challenging to find. To the OP, good luck in your explorations. CNC can bring up complicated feelings. Playing with CNC has caused me to question myself and my goals in constructive ways. All I can say is that I miss having a good CNC partner in my life and have far more gratitude than regrets over my experiences in this style of play.

[Wilding]

Any ***d sex fantasy needs to be carefully discussed before hand and safe words and signals clearly agreed to.

 

It is possibly the single most intense form of BDSM role play and I often hear female subs complain that the male Dom/s never make is scary and "real" enough and the Doms say that they are nervous as to how far they can go before things go south a play crosses the line into legal .

 

All of this is understandable but can be avoided with clear communication.

[Th****]

Great advice given above.

One little thought to add,

Once you have had your talks or during.

One of you make notes, you will want a written copy of your RP rules for reference.

This is one area, that if the RP becomes frequent, it can blur the lines of normal behaviour.

You need to have safe words, of course, if you can use them.

A instruction that both parties can use for RP being in and for RP being ended. These need to be very clear.

When does No mean No?

When does No mean Yes?

Also No go areas.

 

Having these in a written format gives you both the ability to remind your selves of the rules of engagement and helps keep the free flow of CNC safe.

 

Have fun.

 

[ol****]

What @Thebian says is spot on, having participated years ago in CNC. Rules and plenty of talk to understand the scene.

You can only play this sort of scene where you have already achieved 100% trust in my view. Maybe that also takes the edge off of it a little.

Enetering into this sort of play with somebody you don't know properly risks far too much.