Help, we need first date advice.

[MagPhi]

Neither my husband or I never really “dated”. Not separately, not together. We are super, super new to all of this (like 48 hours). We have been blessed to have made a date to meet a beautiful woman, tomorrow, just drinks, with an open ending of “let’s see where we go”. Any advice? We are smart, attractive people but lean towards socially awkward and shy. We have chronic medical nonsense that eliminates BDSM practices. How do we disclose medical, non communicable obviously, we are clean in that regard, and when? Any landmines we can avoid? Any thoughts would be greatly welcomed. 

[TheBookCollector]

Dress smartly but also in clothes you feel relaxed in.

When you meet and after pmeasentaries, just start chatting socially, discuss local news, ask non intrusive questions like what thier journey was like, let the converasation evolve.
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Be honest in your answers, but if a question make you uncomfortable give minimum details and if pressed say you dont feel comfortable going into detail until you know them better.
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If you feel a connection then start to go into high level questions about expectations for what might develop, again let the conversation go down that path naturally, by all means talk relevant medical conditions but at a high level, dont go into details unless asked.
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DONT : get drunk if meeting in a bar or place that serves alcohol, have a drink my all means, but do it in moderation.

[Bo****]

Hello go with the flow be yourself. You don’t have to outdo yourself. You’re already have a great husband.

[de****]

Make sure you let someone know, obviously someone you trust. For safety reasons. Hope all goes well, have fun and enjoy

[Su****]

Firstly, congrats. Be yourselves - its okay to say you're nervous - they might be, too. Maybe have a few topics to chat about to overcome your shyness.

I ask up front if someone is on top of any mental / health issues as that's very important to me. No need to disclose anything if there isn't a connection.

Compatibility is always more important than aesthetics especially if you're looking for a regular playmate. Be honest, listen, enjoy and have fun.

[sl****]

Just be yourselves

[Deleted Member]

I agree. Just be open from the start. On a first date, I always meet for coffee or drinks first. There are a lot of scammers out there. Even if they are real, you may or may not have chemistry. Plus, even as a man with a high drive, it’s a lot hotter to meet and then build up to the sex, rather than jumping into the sex immediately on a first meeting. Even if the buildup is just over drinks.

[va****]

Everyone has given perfect advice most important thing is just express urself and be urself as much as possible being nervous if u weren't nervous then something isn't right

[MagPhi]

Thank you all so very much. You have given me insight and a sense of control over the situation. I especially appreciate the tips on how to share slowly, respect my boundaries, and let the relationship form naturally. It’s been a very quick whirlwind. Thank you all again for your support and honesty. 

[AZ****]

I always say to go into any situation completely honest with yourself & others & especially your partner and with no expectations what so ever. Even if it has been discussed and all agreed on anything happening have no expectations. Things happen and expectations can lead to disappointment.

[sn****]

I'm in the same exact boat but a couple months in and still haven't figured out how to navigate the conversation. So far any mention of fibromyalgia or Lyme disease shuts down all conversation EVEN faster than it does when I'm not trying to be sexy. I'm pretty terrified to let another man touch me at all. And if I don't mention it then it seems people are reading jealousy and possessiveness where there isn't any.
However I met a girl on 3f and she didn't shy away when I brought it up. Then I met her and now we're building a closeness.

[MagPhi]

On 2/17/2025 at 11:49 PM, MagPhi said:

 

Edited February 19 by MagPhi
Error

[Ma****]

Be interested in the person. If you are genuinely interested, then the conversation will flow.
Ask about things that interest you.
Ask to kiss, at ehenever that might be appropriate. Go from there.

[Ma****]

"...at *whenever* that might be...."

[Dr****]

Relax and all will be natural