Polyamory?

[Ki****]

I am polyamourous and my partner is polyamourous

[SL****]

I think it’s hard being the partner not getting their needs met, so I feel you there for sure. Very frustrating and a very hard conversation to have.

[NH****]

Yes there has been a main stream push to destroy classic relationships. Not so much the practice (people have been doing this before we were born), but the openness of all of it has seemed to desensitize others.

I’m not into the poly lifestyle, too many layers to that onion. It took me an my partner years of working on our own relationship before thinking of adding anyone for a fling.

I would avoid Poly relationships all together, to many variables.

[ia****]

It's a fade.

[kn****]

I think that it is unhealthy to rely on one person to have every one of your needs met. That is where the concept of poly comes into play. Some people have strong friend groups to meet needs. Some people have family. And some have additional romantic or sexual partners. I dont believe the relationships are innately more flawed than monogamous ones. Especially if they are built on mutual respect and communication.

[ms****]

I feel like as a society we're tired of trying to fix a problem that to a lot of us seems a bit unfixable. I was married 22 years and I can say that it wasn't great for 15 of them. As humans we are complicated beings with ever changing views and ideas. And as time elapses I can say I at least am a completely different person every 5 years. I am kind and loving but my life views change my perception of what I see and feel about nouns, ( people, places, things, events), through my experiences and knowledge intake. Amongst other variables. Look at it this way as a new born you are completely at risk to everything and would die without being cared for, at 5 years old your in kindergarten making friends, potty trained, can feed yourself, ect. At 10 you are in 5th grade you have learned to care about things like favorite sport or team, type of music or favorite bands, maybe noticing the opposite sex for more than just cudies lol. At 15 your in high school and dating, playing sports, focusing on your future with good grades or collage sports, or leaving the nest to travel. At 20 you've left home and are I'm college, or forming your own family or traveling across Europe, at 25 you are deciding or have decided which career to embark upon or to be a stay at home parent, point is I'm 46 and I've been a new me every five years and so was my ex wife. It is very hard for 2 people to grow into the new person they are always becoming in the same direction. I don't know if that makes sense to everyone but that is why I believe relationships don't last forever. We were never meant to in the 1st place. We are just too fluid.

[in****]

I was in a poly relationship before. Never again

[sa****]

It’s not a pushback, it’s society realizing that they don’t need to hide how they love. Saying it’s pushback makes it seem as if it’s wrong and that’s simply not the case. The idea of only having 1 true love is vastly overrated. Sure there may be some people like that but if religion would stop pushing the narrative that monogamy is the only acceptable form of relationship than we’d see that humans are not designed to be monogamous. There is nothing wrong with polyamory, it’s simply a way people choose to live in truth. It’s the most respectful form of non-monogamous relationships.

[Deleted Member]

My beautiful vanilla red hot lover forever my love that took half a century to find gave me a year and a have of bliss that was like a lifetime… he is my soulmate in every way. The more we had of each other. The more we wanted of each other. But he passed away suddenly. Now my heart and soul remain without a home. Waiting to find him again. It will only ever be polyamory because he will always be in my heart. When I close my eyes he is beside me. And when I take another lover they will be added to my collective soul.

[ne****]

That is beautiful, so few people ever get to experience a soulmate so you were blessed. I think the depth of feeling you can have with the same person all the time makes it more intense and more meaningful.
I don’t cope well with the poly lifestyle, I just get so jealous.
Please tell me how to deal with that?

[Do****]

Thursday at 02:38 AM, newstead148294 said:

That is beautiful, so few people ever get to experience a soulmate so you were blessed. I think the depth of feeling you can have with the same person all the time makes it more intense and more meaningful.
I don’t cope well with the poly lifestyle, I just get so jealous.
Please tell me how to deal with that?

Me too. I was in a situation where he was. At first I was not aware of it, then I was. The more I seen him, the more I wanted to be part of his world. To the point I had to say goodbye. The way he made love to me, I didn't want him touching anyone else the same way. I would never say he was wrong for the way he lived his life, nor would I ask him to change to suit my needs. But, in my heart of hearts I wanted to be that one. The one who stole his heart and tied him down. He lit a fire in my soul that I've never experienced with another. That fire only roars when he's near. I never told him as much, but I'd do anything to keep that fire burning anything at all, but share. Like Meatloaf said, I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that. Respectfully.

[Deleted Member]

I think for me I look at it as a King and Knight situation. They would both have to love me totally and faithfully. And I would be their Queen. I think it’s rare. But it can happen. It’s not an excuse to just have another boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s about true love. Loving them both equally but differently.

[ce****]

Omg. Its hard. I want to be the one and only. The main one. Im down for a three some with o other woman but love her too is hard. She needs to love me and yes i want to be her queen and his queen. I cant be second .

[wo****]

It’s not about being “second or third”. It’s about loving multiple people with all your heart. Sometimes you don’t love them equally and that’s okay. For example I have a few boyfriends and one main boyfriend who needs more from me than the rest and that’s OKAY.

[Ge****]

So I know I responded earlier on, now having experienced my first mfm interaction with me being more polyamorous and they're more enm, I can say it is very different with the two lifestyle types mixing when it's not just 2 people involved. Adding in the 3rd or a 4th person into the dynamic multiplies possible issues even more, especially if one group prefers jumping right in without deeply discussing boundaries, expectations, limits, and are just fly by the seat of their pants. I feel it's just more noticeable in a kink community to see some claiming to be polyamorous. There's still differences between all these terms, polyamory, open relationship, enm, and people will have their own interpretation of each.

[Su****]

I was thinking to post about the same issue. I am looking for dom and newbie sub and ALL are having their primary relationship apart. That’s maybe fine for learning period but what I need is someone who would be only mastering me 😂

[Me****]

I love them

[Th****]

Monogamy?!?! In THIS economy??

(Just jokes! I respect Monogamy as well!)

But FR there are soooo many perks. I have been very blessed and have found myself and others well! Monogamy and poly, for me, are just different bandwidths. I practice "non-hierarchy KTP poly" and it's a wonderful life style. All are treated and respected and cared for. I thought, originally, that it was like sharing a pie... but thats not how it works! Affection and love are not finite resources!! (Like the movie - All dogs go to heaven) "the more you share the more you're gonna get"

[Im****]

With an open mind read “Sex at Dawn”. Opened my eyes and mind to the possibilities.

[sa****]

I kinda feel like younger generations (millennials and gen Z) are more comfortable and accepting of people in alternative life styles. We are also being more open about our alternative life styles.

I know, as an elder millennial, when I told people I was poly in the early 2000's I got a lot of "eww you would let your partner have sex with other people! I could never!" But now it happens less and I get more "How does that work?" And "How do you not get jealous?" Questions.

Poly for me is making sure partners are happy and have their needs met in and out of the bedroom. I've never been able to be happy in a monogamous relationship because I didn't want to hold partners back. I just request they are upfront with their boundaries and respect mine otherwise the relationship doesn't need to continue.(took a few bad relationships for me to en*** that on my end.)

[Ap****]

I didn't find out about polyamory, (Ethical Non-Monogamy,) until I was in my thirties. It took me six months of soul searching too realize want it meant to me. When, after those six months, I told the woman I was with at the time she just looked at me and asked, "It took you this long to figure that out?"
That was about two years before we got married. We are about to celebrate six*** years of marriage. 😁🥳 What we have decided, for us, is that placing the expectation that all of our needs and desires be fulfilled be filled by one person is a form of ***. But, by remaining honest with each other, we have found ways that each can be fulfilled, even if it is not by the other.
We have each learned to keep our boundaries semifluid...
Sorry, lost my train of thought. There is a song I learned in Outdoor School that just took on a whole new meaning.

" Love's just like a magic penny, hold it tight and you won't have any. But lend it, spend it, you'll have so many - they'll roll all over the floor. For love is something if you give it away, give it away, give it away. Love is something if you give it away, you wind up having more." And this is sung in the round with at least three groups...

[Ro****]

So there's a double sided coin to this, as kink became more socially acceptable so did non monogamy. One is very much linked and for some apart but both grew independently as well.

Another part of the two sides of the coin is how there is a group who pockets it and uses it to justify being able to have more than one intimate partner through deception or thinks they can get all the benefits without the work. Then there are those who are open and actually put in the work to have strong connection with each with careful communication and honesty.

[so****]

I am in open marriage and stepped into being poly as my marriage evolved
My gf and wife are friends as I amvwith wife's bf

[Ke****]

Monogamy is a jail you enter, usually with marriage. You don't realize it's a jail until you miss several great connections, though. Your partner thinks monogamy is the only option, but you now know it's just a jail, keeping you from fully experiencing life! Then you get a divorce and slowly experience our world, the way it was met to be experienced, with a polyarmorous orientation!

[Ke****]

I have found that people interested in BDSM/kink, are often also polyamorous and swingers too.