Trying to find my space in this community…does this dynamic actually exist?

[oh****]

12 hours ago, An_i_mal said:

Don’t give up. Be patient, I think society is transforming or adjusting faster than usual at this moment. Maybe because of technology maybe because world events. The collective consciousness isn’t as balanced and it permeates other cultures, maybe even the kinky. There’s a Dom out there for you. You might just have to be more patient to find them.

Thank you. I think you are right, things are shifting. Appreciate the uplift 🙏

[oh****]

12 hours ago, Rae73 said:

It does exist. It's just hard to find. I've had it. But unfortunately, mine is no longer with us. Be patient, you will find what you're looking for.

Thank you 🥹

[oh****]

10 hours ago, W_olf_S said:

you should keep on your standard, their valid & healthier than most.
It is a struggle for both side having tha king of value, sub seems perfect until times pass and thing becomes serious you see they changes and just seek adrenaline and sexual exhalation

But! It happen, sometimes you find like minded people to talk some will attract you some other not, but even if rare they exist

It's when you don't think about it or seek for it that it comes to you

Thank you for this. It really helped me feel more grounded in what I’m looking for and less alone in it.

[se****]

This is been the third website I have joined in 4 1/2 years and I am still single. After a lifetime in and out of the dynamic, I am finding exactly what you have spoken of.. I’m very upfront and direct I expect consistency, truthfulness honesty, integrity, and you’re absolutely right in your statement then when it comes right down to it if they don’t ghost me completely, they have cut and run or suddenly found some faults with me that never existed before instead of looking in their own mirror. I wish you the best. I’m sorry we “***s in submission” are going through this.

[oh****]

13 hours ago, Couplewithagoal said:

A very well written expression of true feelings and raw emotion. It is a shame that a submissive that is so in tune with her needs doesn’t have a Dom to meet her there.
I have been my wife’s Dom for years, but we are looking to explore her being submissive to another Dom. We are seeking a Dom with the characteristics you described and are experiencing the same results. It is as if guys have lost the art of seduction and the power of connecting mentally. Personally, a submissive who desires and expresses those desires as clearly as you have done would be an absolute treasure for me.
At any rate, your post is genuinely refreshing and we wish you the best.  

Thank you for such a kind and thoughtful message. It really means a lot to feel seen like this. Wishing you and your partner the best in your search as well.

[oh****]

16 hours ago, GRKIDD said:

Keep doing you. You will find what you want. You have a great brain.

Thank you 🙏

[oh****]

16 hours ago, ChiadaBrat said:

Babe you aren’t asking for too much ♥️

Thank you 🥹

[oh****]

16 hours ago, Beachlifecontrast said:

You'll find it 🫡

🙏

[et****]

Valid question

[Deleted Member]

I feel very much the same way you do. I don't think it exists. I had an amazing dom years ago and have been searching for that kind of a dynamic ever since with no luck. I think it's a once in a million opportunity to find what is right for you. I have been so discouraged in my search. I wish you the very best of luck.

[sc****]

It sounds to me like you’re looking for an emotionally intelligent person that understands the interplay of intimacy and kink. I believe that exists, because it’s what I truly want. There’s no way of knowing just from this description what other personal things for you may increase or decrease your chances of finding it, but I hope for both our sakes that kind of thing is possible.

[tr****]

You're looking for a Soft Dom @ohciaobella

[Pe****]

Omg thank you!!!! Thank you for being able to put into words I couldn’t!!!! I think there’s a lot more of us but it’s hard to find where to belong especially when one huge part is worrying you’re not doing what your partner likes!!!

[HertsBedsBucksDom]

What you seek does exist.

But it's hidden behind pay walls, badly written or non existent bio's. No profile pics or profile pics that at first glance don't register an interest. Poor opening lines. Expectations of the other party finding you. Manipulative players who know what to say clogging up your time.

I think deep down most people are kinky on some level and you can find the gentle dynamic you seek outside of this app in the real world. Go to different clubs anything and everything whether they interest you not. Meet people face to face having no expectations... just to chat and mingle.

And my advice .. target some of the quieter ones. 😉 The quiet ones are thinkers... sprinkle a little time and patience with them and watch them grow.

[Ac****]

This is something I have felt, along with the sadness that I won't actually meet anyone that has similar fetishes to me. I feel like being kinky just isn't actually viable for a relationship based on how most people act.

[Da****]

It definitely does exist. My previous sub worded it this way, that no matter what I did to her, she never once felt unsafe in all the time she was with me. Complete trust allowed her to be herself and do the things she always wanted to do. She also said that I was a Dom that actually knew how to lead. It was both emotionally and sexually the most satisfying relationship I've ever had. It may be hard to find, but it's out there, please don't give up and when you have it, cherish it.

[Da****]

Cuckolding may be something to consider .....you get the best of all kink....a brat gf or hot wife who can be the center of attention but is completely owned and dominated by her lover and bull.....all the while she is upon a pedestal being pampered and loved as she becomes a Goddess and a complete super bitch over her pet boi and she demands his submission to be obedient and attentive when and when she displays her power over him .....she shows her cuckyboi how she has fallen victim to obsession with her lover and she worships this bull who comes to show how his big penis grows for the gf/hot wife and how it has become the most dominant powerful *** and his sperm will make her addicted and she will feed it to her cuckyboi after the bull ejaculates inside of her and it will make the cuckyboi love and support and need to embrace what is happening and the gf/hot wife and her cuckold can appreciate what her lover is doing to them and she can tell her cuck how he will always be under her feet as she makes him surrender

[Ka****]

I feel like we are very similar and have gone through a lot of the same things... It's kinda sucks having to go thru so much (or so many) but sometimes that's just how it is. You're not alone ❤️

[Sa****]

It exists. It is not where you are looking. Evaluate again the doms you met, and recalibrate your search criteria. Trial and error. It is worth the time and effort...

[Ro****]

Keep on being you. You will find it. I can confirm it's out there. It's a matter of setting and enforcing the standard of what you expect going in and discussing from the get-go. Do not be afraid to walk away if it is less than realistic expectations.

Just so you know where I'm coming from, I am a decade into my journey. I have my doms that fit into my ideal of a solo poly lifestyle. I hammered out and carefully grew the connections I have over time with those who understand my needs and appreciate the submission and interactions I offer in turn. Give them a chance and if they can not meet you, tell them and walk away when they still don't. No further explanation needed. Actions must match words, or they are not worth my trust and vulnerabilities.

Life is too short to waffle about any of it. The right person will understand and meet your needs and desires.

[Li****]

Did Story of O scare you or something ???
I dont understand..

[Deleted Member]

I'm the same. I haven't found the right Dom who can give me that yet, either. No idea if they're actually out there...

[Li****]

Portrayals in the book are indeed brutal n dispassionate but in no way reflect the goals n aspirations I believe I had clearly stated..it would be a mistake to conflate a wrk of fiction one was exposed to as a child w the fully present, sensitive, compassionate human who emerged..w a hvy heart, the defense rests..

[Deleted Member]

An awful lot of people saying it does exist and an awful lot of people saying they have a similar experience to the original post. It's a shame this information can't be put into some form of graphic. I'd love to know the answer one way or another, but perhaps it's not something that can be imperiacly measured. At the moment, I feel I've been delusional, and the dynamic is more transactional or base/physical than the romatic notion of deep connection and understanding, at least on here. I do hope I'm wrong.

[Deleted Member]

I think all of what you're saying is the bare minimum. Any dom or domme worth their salt does aftercare. It's BDSM 101. It's expected. If ppl don't want to open their hearts then maybe they shouldn't be in this lifestyle. After a scene, you need to care for not just their bodies but minds too. Since it takes a huge toll on their minds & bodies. So yeah, I think there's a lot of ppl who play "dom/mes" not actually being one themselves.