Sifting Through the Madness for the Word, the Line, the Way:

[Be****]

The ideal man has the strength, endurance, and temperance of fine steel. […] A man of steel is a masculine man. He is aggressive, determined, decisive, and independent. He learns efficiency in the affairs of a man's world, demanding quotas of himself in reaching an objective. He is competent in a task, ***less and courageous in the face of difficulty, and master of a situation. The velvet qualities include a man's gentleness, his tenderness, kindness, generosity, and patience… He is chivalrous, attentive and respectful to the gentler sex and has an ability to love with tenderness. He has, in addition, an enthusiastic and youthful attitude of optimism which defies the press of years. [...] Both the steel and velvet are necessary to produce a great character. There has never been a truly great man on the earth who was not a possessor of both.

A Dominant Will let her take him for granted....because she shouldn't live the life in a state of *** of losing him. Will send her flowers for no particular reason Will get up early and clean all of the snow off her car, shovel a path, and warm up the car for her after a snowstorm on a cold winters day.

Service is a part of kink. Deferential behavior can be part of power exchange. Don’t mix cocktails just for yourself , and don’t do your owners errands because you like the exercise. Nobody has to share your kinks, your dynamics, or share there excitement of them. All is to ask from those around you , is that when you are in mixed kinky friendly company, it would mean a lot to people like those more experienced in the community all try to make the more nuanced sides of kink seen to those who are newer or less experienced. Service and deference can look on the purely surface level like toxic desperation or simping, and when it's assumed to be such, that's how people respond it’s human nature , Other people misattributing the behavior doesn't lessen the joy of delivering good service. The owner sees you , and they are the one you do it for. However, the consistent misinterpretation of the dynamic might make you feel deeply disconnected from the community as a whole.
When your kinks aren’t seen as kinks, your actions get judged under a totally different light. It’s much like if every person with a brat dynamic was assumed to just be a manipulative person. (there are people who genuinely believe this, and that's not Ok) , The consensually negotiated and intentional dynamics are what separates something like impact play from domestic ***. It's bad enough when a vanilla person fails to see that distinction, but as the default assumption from kinky ***rs, it hits a lot harder.


Service is a part of KINK.

And that message desperately needs a signal boost. Why? Because when your kink spaces don’t seem to see or acknowledge your kink, AS a kink, it creates a constant sense of ostracization and a feeling of being unseen.

Beast.