Approaching unicorns from a couples prospective

[ki****]

We would like to think of our selves as experienced in the scene having involved a number of different females in our play. However it does seem to be hard to actually find them is this something many couples searching for the "unicorns" have found to be the case is that why they are called unicorns cause they truly are mythical creatures only seen on rare occasions.

We have tried varied approaches online, different sites including this one to meet ladies looking or wanting to experience play in a 3 way. We even have tried while in person (unsuccessfully) 😆. Direct approaches with females engaging with them with either male or female starting of the engagement. But what is it that woman want to hear, because how we see it is if we were asked we would rather someone was straight with us.

Please share some of your experiences we would like to hear them!

[Am****]

Following bc.. right?!

[JigglyStuff]

I mean, it's a mood for me. I did a few fmf but never planned it, or looked for it. Once was with my BF when I had the hots for a woman, but mostly I got to play. once was with a couple I loved, they were married and mostly mono, but we clicked really from friends to more. There isn't an approach, it's more like, what do you have to offer to that woman? two people focusing on her? royal treatment? Sub play?
Give someone a reason to join you, not just "I want to".

[Da****]

I feel like jiggly stuff nailed that on the dadgum head boys

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, JigglyStuff said:

There isn't an approach, it's more like, what do you have to offer to that woman? two people focusing on her? royal treatment? Sub play?
Give someone a reason to join you, not just "I want to".

Agreed. 

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What are you looking for in this potential partner outside of their interest in doing you both in some random way? If that's all you're after, be clear about that. But letting this hypothetical woman know what she gets out of it is also crucial.

.

As to why it's difficult, it depends on what the woman in question wants out of the deal. Is she expected to be attracted to you both equally from the get-go? Good luck with that, given how challenging it is to find two people with mutual interests - kink and otherwise - who are attracted to each other; adding a third who shares that bond in the way these couples tend to envision is part of why it's called "unicorn hunting."

.

Is the woman being targeted greysexual at all? This could be anything from demisexual (needs a certain time of emotional connection before sex can happen), not experiencing sexual attraction (could be aesthetic, romantic, or other forms of attraction), not actually interested in sex at all, something else or any combination thereof.

.

They may know that there's no way that they're going to be able to be attracted to you both equally, if that's what you're after; or attracted to yo both in the same way. And so on.

. 

Also, the challenge of coming in as an adjunct to an already established relationship is the high possibility of not being considered an equal partner as much as a largely expendable toy; and not everybody is into that even as a fantasy let alone a reality. 

.

As you're well aware, you have a lot of competition. Stand out by being clear on what type of person you're looking for, what you want out of them, and what they can get out you. You may find your changes improve greatly.

[In****]

56 minutes ago, JigglyStuff said:

I mean, it's a mood for me. I did a few fmf but never planned it, or looked for it. Once was with my BF when I had the hots for a woman, but mostly I got to play. once was with a couple I loved, they were married and mostly mono, but we clicked really from friends to more. There isn't an approach, it's more like, what do you have to offer to that woman? two people focusing on her? royal treatment? Sub play?
Give someone a reason to join you, not just "I want to".

This thoooooo 💕🔥🙌🏽

[ki****]

1 hour ago, JigglyStuff said:

I mean, it's a mood for me. I did a few fmf but never planned it, or looked for it. Once was with my BF when I had the hots for a woman, but mostly I got to play. once was with a couple I loved, they were married and mostly mono, but we clicked really from friends to more. There isn't an approach, it's more like, what do you have to offer to that woman? two people focusing on her? royal treatment? Sub play?
Give someone a reason to join you, not just "I want to".

All of which is a fair point. We offer a range of play becuase we like the BDSM kink world and have both experienced and enjoyed it so much we are able to offer a varied play opportunity. Thanks for your input tho! Appreciated.

[ki****]

1 hour ago, Griot said:

Agreed. 

.

What are you looking for in this potential partner outside of their interest in doing you both in some random way? If that's all you're after, be clear about that. But letting this hypothetical woman know what she gets out of it is also crucial.

.

As to why it's difficult, it depends on what the woman in question wants out of the deal. Is she expected to be attracted to you both equally from the get-go? Good luck with that, given how challenging it is to find two people with mutual interests - kink and otherwise - who are attracted to each other; adding a third who shares that bond in the way these couples tend to envision is part of why it's called "unicorn hunting."

.

Is the woman being targeted greysexual at all? This could be anything from demisexual (needs a certain time of emotional connection before sex can happen), not experiencing sexual attraction (could be aesthetic, romantic, or other forms of attraction), not actually interested in sex at all, something else or any combination thereof.

.

They may know that there's no way that they're going to be able to be attracted to you both equally, if that's what you're after; or attracted to yo both in the same way. And so on.

. 

Also, the challenge of coming in as an adjunct to an already established relationship is the high possibility of not being considered an equal partner as much as a largely expendable toy; and not everybody is into that even as a fantasy let alone a reality. 

.

As you're well aware, you have a lot of competition. Stand out by being clear on what type of person you're looking for, what you want out of them, and what they can get out you. You may find your changes improve greatly.

Very interesting take on things! Some of these we have talked about interestingly but not considered to be such a big deal. Thank you.

[tw****]

Bahahaha we have had a couple man and no one really 💯 matched what we needed but the right one will come along until enjoy each other

[Deleted Member]

As a single woman looking for couples to potentially join the biggest thing for me is that it has to start with physical attraction. I have plenty of interest from couples here and other sites however I find that the majority of the time I am attracted to one and not the other which keeps me from matching with most. Once I do match with a couple I’m interested in then I want to know what they are looking for with a third. I need to have a connection with both and know this is not just a one time thing or just hooking up. Also joining a couple that is already established whether married or a long term relationship is intimidating. They know each other so well, what they like and what they don’t like so coming into that and feeling included is important.

[Da****]

Perspective

[Deleted Member]

9 hours ago, JacNic13 said:

As a single woman looking for couples to potentially join the biggest thing for me is that it has to start with physical attraction. I have plenty of interest from couples here and other sites however I find that the majority of the time I am attracted to one and not the other which keeps me from matching with most. Once I do match with a couple I’m interested in then I want to know what they are looking for with a third. I need to have a connection with both and know this is not just a one time thing or just hooking up. Also joining a couple that is already established whether married or a long term relationship is intimidating. They know each other so well, what they like and what they don’t like so coming into that and feeling included is important.

I totally agree with this. And then I find I'm practically having to audition for the position! I've also been accused of being a time waster because I couldn't make it when they wanted me to, with no notice.

[ma****]

It is hard to find the "unicorns" because most women do not want to be some couple's kink dispensers. They are not objects. It is as simple as that.

[ki****]

1 hour ago, maryioni said:

It is hard to find the "unicorns" because most women do not want to be some couple's kink dispensers. They are not objects. It is as simple as that.

I would agree with you if that was the case in our situation however we are not just using our kinks on the unicorn, it works for us as we an MF couple and female is Bisexual so allows her to continue to explore her biside, while still exploring kink at the same time. Although we have done meets without kink as the unicorn wasn't into it and that's cool we are and open couple willing to work with the potential unicorns so that they get as much out of the meet as we do, equal play is important and we understand that!

[ey****]

Couple of thoughts

you say it's hard - but have had "a number" of different women involved in your play.  It kinda can't be that hard since the youngest of you is 21

My second thought though, is why "a number" - why isn't it just one person frequently involved? Why doesn't it work for them? 

[su****]

Unicorn here and I dont understand the problem either. Or why its bad manners to seek out unjcorns

[su****]

I think if its your first time, then approach the unicorn delicately. And I guess the only negative side is that the unicorn is a solitary existence.. the couple have each other to like that was awesome high5 each other late or later but the unicorn goes home alone?! So just make sure to extend the aftercare and make sure to give unicorn cuddles and feed them... and they'll prob come back

[su****]

Monday at 02:18 PM, kinkycoupla said:

I would agree with you if that was the case in our situation however we are not just using our kinks on the unicorn, it works for us as we an MF couple and female is Bisexual so allows her to continue to explore her biside, while still exploring kink at the same time. Although we have done meets without kink as the unicorn wasn't into it and that's cool we are and open couple willing to work with the potential unicorns so that they get as much out of the meet as we do, equal play is important and we understand that!

Idk . I think if most women tried it sensually they'd love it. Its the relationship part they want and aren't getting out of the exchange

[su****]

Monday at 12:29 PM, maryioni said:

It is hard to find the "unicorns" because most women do not want to be some couple's kink dispensers. They are not objects. It is as simple as that.

Ah I cant edit but my last was in response to this ... um l do! Pick me.. the kink dispenser part... i

[Deleted Member]

Wannabe unicorn here, given half a chance of finding a decent couple. I'm here for the kink, not interested in the relationship. So far, they're all nuts!