Question for dominant ladies: which male personality do you prefer?

[Lu****]

Hello all!

I'm looking for some input from dominant women (just for fun); about what kind of a man would they prefer to have in their lives as a long-term relationship guy. Not in a fantasy or one night stand, but in a serious relationship based on love & building a life together:

 

Type A: Docile and subservient. He follows your lead without much questions. He's good mannered, a good listener and remembers the things you tell him. He goes along with all your friends, because he's polite. He never lies. Although he's not a needy whiner, he has been completely tamed by you and doesn't resist your control in any way. He's a predictable, reliable "nice guy", who doesn't do stupid things and always puts your pleasure first. He follows all the rules.

keywords: devotion, obedience, tranquility, deference, reliability

Type B: Headstrong and sometimes misbehaving. You know he loves you, but his male nature needs constant corrections. He forgets things like anniversaries, birth dates and the names of your friends. He has an ego that is trying to escape from your control. Sometimes he embarrasses you in public. He's unpredictable, which means that he'll cause you trouble, but also means he'll excite you with unexpected adventures. He's passionate and talks before thinking. He will fist-fight for your honor. He will submit to you, but if you want to sleep peacefully at night, you have to constantly keep him on a tight leash.

keywords: passion, volatility, power struggle, vigor, intensity

Assume both types love you, are loyal, competent, have the same intelligence and meet your physical attraction standards. If you will, please elaborate a bit on why you prefer one or the other personality (or neither, but something else). Note that the relationship is strictly monogamous with no cheating

Thanks!

[TemptressM]

I'm not sure you can just place someone into a type like that, You can have someone like Type A that still has parts of Type b,  at the end of the day a lot of it is chemistry and whether you both work wll together.  Both have to be good at communication too.

Yes I love a sub that does as he is told but I also enjoy some push back too.   I don't think there is such a thing as perfection and its good to be able to adapt to each other to get as much fulfilment and pleasure as you both can

Of course it would be great for either if they could build there own sub or build there own Dominant to there own specifics but I think even that would get boring after a while.  Growing and learning together to me is what is important 

[Ca****]

I think what you are discribing is a submissive and a submissive brat. And one person can be both

[ey****]

I think if they were the only 2 sub types available - there'd be a lot of Dominant ladies give up.

[Lu****]

The point of my question is not to categorize people (sure, it's impossible to throw everyone into two categories), but to understand better the mindset of (dominant) women. A binary option is needed to gauge the preference.

It is my assumption (and I could be wrong, since I'm not really experienced), that in the case of a serious LTR, where you are "stuck" with a person theoretically for life, most women would get eventually bored of an obedient, perfectly submissive "nice" guy. And would prefer a man that can't be fully tamed, but is still somewhat controllable.

[ey****]

8 minutes ago, LuckyZack said:

It is my assumption (and I could be wrong, since I'm not really experienced), that in the case of a serious LTR, where you are "stuck" with a person theoretically for life, most women would get eventually bored of an obedient, perfectly submissive "nice" guy. And would prefer a man that can't be fully tamed, but is still somewhat controllable.

Option A; potentially safe - but boring - or, is it?  Because if she thought it'd be fun for him to occasionally 'brat' then since he is fully obedient he will occasionally run his mouth or act up.

Option B; while it seems rather wild and exciting - it'd be tiring.  Unreliable and emotional labour.  

Tying in with other conversations that've been had - you can't and shouldn't *** someone to 'submit' it has to be given willingly or not at all.  If someone is going to frankly need constant correction then they need constant attention and they're needy and draining. 

It's also effectively a form of manipulation and topping from the bottom - because the acting up results in getting what they want (attention) - these are fairly toxic traits.  

 

[Lu****]

5 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Option A; potentially safe - but boring - or, is it?  Because if she thought it'd be fun for him to occasionally 'brat' then since he is fully obedient he will occasionally run his mouth or act up

But that wouldn't be genuine from the man's part, it would be played / simulated for the sake of kinky gameplay. I'm looking at this dynamic from the general personality point of view that affects all of daily life.

The biggest misgiving (if not ***) I've always had about the idea of this type of relationship, is that the female would eventually get bored by a completely obedient man - and what's even worse - possibly loose respect for him. Therefore IMO the man needs to retain his dominance in some aspects of life and not be a passive pushover.

From the opposite aspect: for me a woman who is completely submissive & passive to the man is also quite boring. I prefer there is some push back if not power struggle - not just for the sake of long term relationship "spice", but because a person that is always passive is sincerely uninteresting. Personally I want intellectual, emotional & physical challenge from the partner.

Dominant women have high-agency, active personalities. That's why I'm assuming, even though they like control & leadership, a perfectly obedient, deferential male partner is not good for the long term health of a serious relationship.

Maybe my understanding is skewed by the online virtual world, where most often than not, men in this relationship appear like groveling creatures... (no offense meant to anyone)

[michaelc]

I like your argument Zak. Who wants someone who acts like a doormat and puts zero into the relationship? However, I think subs are often too complex to fit into your neat categories. 
 

Subs probably grovel to get attention online so that might skew your judgement. Unless you want the 24/7 lifestyle I feel many of us are different people outside of the bedroom.

[ey****]

The problem is you're both projecting and presenting things in a black and white scenario.

Also; online is only ever one slice of the story.  Never what happens behind closed doors - whether it's subs being innovative, raising suggestions they'd like to do or try - learning how to discuss things they're uncomfortable with.

A lot of that would always be behind closed doors.   

 

 

[TemptressM]

as I said earlier,   there is no way of being able to pick from your two choices.  You cannot live your life with only one colour to choose from and thats pretty much what you are asking us to do.  I would never want a FLR so maybe that is why I cannot choose. 

Online is only a small part of it and the subs that come in crawling to kiss a complete strangers feet have no idea what it takes to be a true submissive,  its an act for them.  

I myself look for a connection first before I even want to know what kinks we both share.  There has to be a spark there for anything to work and I am assuming its the same for a FLR,  there is a reason why that amount of commitment has been made, its not something that is just jumped into. 

[MistressHonesty]

I wouldn't even speak to B.

A, for sure. I would send him to learn to fist-fight for me. 

I can't stand B. I couldn't stand B 20 years ago, much less now. 

[JeanneSauvage]

One of each, ideally, though each would have elements of the other or I would lose interest fast.

My relationships are:

A (though he's not as submissive as your description) gets 70% of my time and 20% of my energy.

B gets 60% of my energy and 10% of my time.

This arrangement works for all of us - B doesn't want the quiet life that I share with A, and A doesn't want the aggressive and manipulative emotional domination that B wants. 

I love both of them for what they bring to my life; B can be hard work sometimes. I get to live my best self and my worst self at once, it's liberating. 

[Jinxy-5083]

On 5/13/2020 at 1:51 PM, LuckyZack said:

The biggest misgiving (if not ***) I've always had about the idea of this type of relationship, is that the female would eventually get bored by a completely obedient man - and what's even worse - possibly loose respect for him. Therefore IMO the man needs to retain his dominance in some aspects of life and not be a passive pushover.

I typically like A. I go for the sweet boys as someone who would be constantly needing correction would be draining, as others have commented, and I'd lose the energy and motivation to work with them. However, I did want to clarify one thing... being submissive and obedient does NOT equal passive and a doormat. I love sharing an open dialogue with my sub about their thoughts and opinions about our play, our day, and our life. They are my equal partner and when they submit and are obedient for me, it's a gift. They're CHOOSING to trust that I will do everything in my power to keep them safe while we play. It takes a strength to submit yourself to someone and is something to be respected. 

[Deleted Member]

I think I would also lead toward A with some of a mix of B. I think solely A would get kind of boring. I don't always want my man to go with the flow, unless I have a hard stance on something. Too much of B would get tiring, just as @eyemblacksheep stated.