How do you deal with a "Ghost"?

[Deleted Member]

So, more context, I downloaded the FET App, I filled out as much as I could on my profile, uploaded a few cute photos, and let the algorithm do it's thing. I, like most people on here, got the usual Bots, players / "fakes" and a few people I was genuinely curious to find out more about within my first week. For transparency, there was not a lack of hook up availability either.

I started off slow, talking to just a couple of potential Daddy Doms, to the point I felt comfortable enough to meet with one of the individuals. We talked back and forth for about 3 wks before meeting, and he, of course said all the right things, his profile looked good, our kinks and what we were looking for aligned, so we met for our first Playdate. It went well, I thought.

For the next few weeks we, again, talked back and forth, continuing discussion of meeting again and just getting to know each other more. Then, about a month later, radio silence. After a couple times trying to reach out over that month, I left him alone and moved forward looking to start the process all over again, with MUCH stricter criteria for the next individuals.

I "almost" forgot about the guy, when he randomly popped up in my DM's again yesterday after a month of no communication. He greeted me like nothing happened. I simply replied back, "Nope." He blocked me.

My question to the Forum is this, when someone blatantly ignores you, "Ghosts" you, for a month and then skips into your inbox like they talked to you yesterday, how do you respond? Replay? Engage? Do you then ignore them, give them an ear full, respectfully tell them to f**k off? Do you call the Ghost Busters? 🤣🤣🤣

I don't want to come off bitter, or burned. I genuinely would like to know how others handle these situations. Thank you in advance! 🥰

[Deleted Member]

It doesn’t align with what you’re looking for and someone popping back a month later like nothing happened just comes off as I really am not that interested or I don’t really have the nerves or intention to meet. It would be a Nope for me also. I don’t think even being polite will come off as not bitter to some people here because they just don’t care behind a screen. You’re here for you, no reason to feel disrespected in any kind of way and still allow them your body…. They may likely handle that situation similar and it feel worse.

I don’t like coming off bitter either but even a “I’m not interested” isn’t good enough for some people. The genuine ones are out there. They’ll follow your criteria.

[Ma****]

It depends on how they act when I call out their bullshit. Lol but yeah, sadly we all experience this. If they are remorseful and have a decent reason, sometimes I give them a second chance. But mostly I just ignore them.
I'm so sorry it happened to you.

[Deleted Member]

Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I have also found myself in a similar situation. Great conversation until I trip over the edge of a fragile ego and get blocked. I made my requirements much stricter as well. Younger men don’t seem to understand the hard age limit. They keep insisting that they are different and want to convince me how “adult” they are.
If nothing else, I’m here to tell you that you aren’t alone. Stand your ground. If someone disrespects your boundaries and communicated expectations, that’s on them.

[ro****]

Definitely don't entertain them, they know what they're doing by choosing not to communicate

[Yi****]

You did the right thing. Its bad enough they don't want another date. But then to mssg you a month later without a great explanation like "I work on a submarine and here is a picture from the North Pole last week". Not "I was in jail for 30 days".

[Fathership]

Without communication there is no respect, and without respect you don't have trust. In my view, without those three things you dont have a relationship, you have a user and the used, an ***r and the ***d.

[An****]

I agree with everybody 👆🏾. Respect is paramount and communication is the building block.

[De****]

Ghosting you after being vetted for a DD is completely unacceptable. If someone treats you like that, cut them off.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, fort-waynelabia said:

It doesn’t align with what you’re looking for and someone popping back a month later like nothing happened just comes off as I really am not that interested or I don’t really have the nerves or intention to meet. It would be a Nope for me also. I don’t think even being polite will come off as not bitter to some people here because they just don’t care behind a screen. You’re here for you, no reason to feel disrespected in any kind of way and still allow them your body…. They may likely handle that situation similar and it feel worse.

I don’t like coming off bitter either but even a “I’m not interested” isn’t good enough for some people. The genuine ones are out there. They’ll follow your criteria.

Fair points on all statements. Thank you for your feedback 🙂

[An****]

You are welcome

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, MandMlooking said:

It depends on how they act when I call out their bullshit. Lol but yeah, sadly we all experience this. If they are remorseful and have a decent reason, sometimes I give them a second chance. But mostly I just ignore them.
I'm so sorry it happened to you.

I actually gave him a second chance in the beginning because he couldn't meet the first time we scheduled a playdate, that he didn't show to, didn't reach out until 2 days later apologizing and saying he had a family emergency. I accepted that at we rescheduled. SMH & LOL Did it to myself though, we live and we learn.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Jina_Patterson said:

Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I have also found myself in a similar situation. Great conversation until I trip over the edge of a fragile ego and get blocked. I made my requirements much stricter as well. Younger men don’t seem to understand the hard age limit. They keep insisting that they are different and want to convince me how “adult” they are.
If nothing else, I’m here to tell you that you aren’t alone. Stand your ground. If someone disrespects your boundaries and communicated expectations, that’s on them.

Thank you for that 🤗 I have learned quite a bit the last few months! It is good to hear that I am not the only one!

[Deleted Member]

You handled it perfectly. Someone like that doesn't deserve any more time than a simple "nope" and blocked. Someone like that already knows what he did.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, rosalicious said:

Definitely don't entertain them, they know what they're doing by choosing not to communicate

I feel like this is so accurate though 😂

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, YinKissesYang said:

You did the right thing. Its bad enough they don't want another date. But then to mssg you a month later without a great explanation like "I work on a submarine and here is a picture from the North Pole last week". Not "I was in jail for 30 days".

I would accept BOTH answers if they were both the truth 😂 I would be able to reevaluate moving forward with that individual.

[Si****]

Classic narcissistic behavior from him. Love bombs ya and then takes it away on purpose to see how you react. To see if he can control you. Comes back with breadcrumbs. It’s ***.

You absolutely 1000% did the right thing.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Analtopper said:

I agree with everybody 👆🏾. Respect is paramount and communication is the building block.

Agreed! 🤜🏼

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, DenverBunny said:

Ghosting you after being vetted for a DD is completely unacceptable. If someone treats you like that, cut them off.

I absolutely did. 🤗 And I absolutely agree!

[Deleted Member]

32 minutes ago, scissorstattoo said:

You handled it perfectly. Someone like that doesn't deserve any more time than a simple "nope" and blocked. Someone like that already knows what he did.

Thanks 🤗 I absolutely agree!

[va****]

I feel like the way this site is set up depending on the person's :looking for status says LTR than it's supposed to be a non personal thing if it's just playdates then we shouldn't get upset when our doms play with others and come back to us when they want to. I have never met anyone personally yet so I reserve my emotional wellbeing but I would like to think I could stay disassociated like that but I *** I couldn't which would make me feel the way I believe your dom has made you feel. I'm sorry you've had this experience I hope ur next one is more compassionate

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Fathership said:

Without communication there is no respect, and without respect you don't have trust. In my view, without those three things you dont have a relationship, you have a user and the used, an ***r and the ***d.

I agree with your sentiment 🤗

[Deleted Member]

Girrrrl, kink is DEFINITELY a journey. A looooong one too. I try to be understanding if people aren't responding, sometimes life gets in the way you know? But, if he was still coming on the site and just ignoring you, yeah fuck that fuckboy. Always know your worth queen 👸

And more than likely the next match will be even better!

[Yi****]

As a single dude I walk a fine line for how much I expect from kinky females. In particular, I meet a gal about every 6 months, when she wants it. In between she rarely answers messages, so I try to remember thats her style. But no one else wants to F me at the time, so she stays at the top of the list for "dont give them a reason to dislike me". I respect her lifestyle, but after 4-5 weeks I write a suggestive obscene text story....

[ma****]

Fuck ghosts