New to ddlg

[Du****]

How can you tell if a CG/Daddy/Mommy wants to nurture and protect, not just enjoy the kink or power play? I feel like there’s so many who just sees it as a kink and something that’s only sexual 🥺

[Deleted Member]

Mommy/Switch answering: explicit communication around expectations has been key for me. In short, being wholly up front asap to establish if you and your play partner are on the same page. Best of luck to you hon!

[Gr****]

Dom here. Set a boundary and see how they react. Any dom thats going to protect you isn’t going to cross the lines you’ve drawn.

[Deleted Member]

Daddy/Dom here, I think a real CG/Daddy/Mommy will show it. They won't want to rush into anything before they get to know you, your likes and limits. I know that I more concerned about my little's well being and being there as a Daddy than I am about fun time. Trust needs to be built with solid communication. You both need to set standards for what you expect and how to get there.

[Li****]

You'd be right to feel this way because most just want their end away.
It isn't just in our kink, but all across any form of "dating."
There's way too many who use it as some fantasy and start off immediately sexual, telling you if you look good or bad or what they'll do when they "own you."
🕯
From the get go, they're showing you they have no interest in anything serious, long term, or what you want, hope for and expect in a dynamic, fwb, relationship. They clearly just want to have sex with you.
🕯
If a guy actually does want you, he'll show it. It won't be a conversation that lasts a couple of messages or a few days or weeks till he's bored and wanders off for easier pickings. He'll stay and pursue you and ask you on a date after speaking and establishing a connection.
🕯
Idk if these people still exist (people to take serious for a dynamic/relationship/both) but it's a very long wait no matter which site 😅
Good luck to you and never be pressured into anything! Good ones still exist who want to protect and nurture, I'm sure! 🤕🙈😸

[Du****]

49 minutes ago, MonaNicole said:

Mommy/Switch answering: explicit communication around expectations has been key for me. In short, being wholly up front asap to establish if you and your play partner are on the same page. Best of luck to you hon!

Thank uuu🫶🏻

[Th****]

I’ve been into DDlg for 18 years and a true CG/Daddy/Mommy will show they are that before any sign of sexual attraction to your little. I will always be bratty but my littleness comes out in safe spaces where it’s not sexual. Because, littlespace doesn’t need to be sexualized.

[Li****]

20 minutes ago, Thislilbat said:

I’ve been into DDlg for 18 years and a true CG/Daddy/Mommy will show they are that before any sign of sexual attraction to your little. I will always be bratty but my littleness comes out in safe spaces where it’s not sexual. Because, littlespace doesn’t need to be sexualized.

Exactly this. It isn't the little part that I'd want sexualised but me being myself. My younger traits and hobbies come out naturally when I'm comfortable.

[Du****]

42 minutes ago, Thislilbat said:

I’ve been into DDlg for 18 years and a true CG/Daddy/Mommy will show they are that before any sign of sexual attraction to your little. I will always be bratty but my littleness comes out in safe spaces where it’s not sexual. Because, littlespace doesn’t need to be sexualized.

Thank u it’s so nice to hear from another little🫶🏻😊

[Mu****]

True doms don’t immediately sexualize their partners little space, if at all. Without context, communication, or consent it’s arguably exploitation.

[Ma****]

Simple. Is it always all about them or you? When it does get all hot and heavy, are they more concerned with their needs or yours? Do they participate in aftercare the majority of the time (especially when you require it) or do they skip that part often without ever even offering?

Definitely one of the lifestyles you gotta be cautious with (unfortunately) because creepers use it for strictly sexual gain and could care less about using the kink/fetish as it was intended to be used. For some its to overcome trauma, for others it's to experience a form of something they missed out on, for whatever reason that may be. But the wrong people tend to *** and misuse it, so please be careful.

From one stranger to the next, feel free to DM me if you have any questions, I'm here to share my knowledge as well as learn and or share experiences to help others learn, that goes for EVERYONE! ✌️❤️

[je****]

In my experience a true Daddy/Mommy sees their role as( and in some cases finds some of their satisfaction in) being an actual caregiver: Seeing what somebody needs and wants, hears and respects their limits and ***s and then acts accordingly. If you're lucky you find your own needs being met( as a Mommy/Daddy) by hearing/feeling/seeing your partners pleasure and release, knowing that you've done what they asked for in a firm, caring, guiding way.

[Deleted Member]

I need to get on your mind to use your body

[Lu****]

All Dom's at least the good ones protect and nurture their subs and slaves. It is their duty to look out for you and protect you not just use you and discard.

[Ma****]

3 hours ago, jefffa said:

In my experience a true Daddy/Mommy sees their role as( and in some cases finds some of their satisfaction in) being an actual caregiver: Seeing what somebody needs and wants, hears and respects their limits and ***s and then acts accordingly. If you're lucky you find your own needs being met( as a Mommy/Daddy) by hearing/feeling/seeing your partners pleasure and release, knowing that you've done what they asked for in a firm, caring, guiding way.

I'm glad you mentioned this because I totally forgot that portion where some of it just comes natural to Basically being hospitable always making sure that whoever I'm with is good do they need anything like want anything is there anything I can do to make your stay or your experience 100% comfortable.

Mi Casa es su casa.

[al****]

It's been said here before, but I think it's important to say again. I lead with needs, allergies, food/drink favorites, little space desires (nonsexual activities), level of investment (24/7, scenes, ect.). Once that is established, we talk about limits, red flags, safe words, and last kinks/ fetishes.

[Fr****]

Oh my goodness those poor people are missing out on the best parts.

[Expert_DaddyDom]

A good Caregiver/Daddy tries to understands the psychology, mental health, and past experiences and trauma - sexual or non sexual of a sub. That helps him understand what type of structure, care, activities are right for the little. For some Tender little they really need more nurturing, care, to be allowed in their little space, kisses, cuddles, affection, praises that help build their confidence and help with mental health. Kink is an important part, but a very small part for many LGs. Unfortunately, too many self proclaimed DaddyDom are just using it for sex, and they leave little confused and worse off.

[St****]

I think there's definitely a lot who see it that way but look at how they treat you and how you feel in that relationship. If you feel respect when you want it and discipline when you need it then it should be healthy. If you feel disrespected or mistreated then you may be with the wrong person for you, or you may need to talk to that person about how you're perceiving their treatment of you. If they're unwilling to work with you on it. I recommend you look elsewhere. It's supposed to bring you both joy in the end.

[Du****]

Thank you all for helping me, I’m so new to all of this so I didn’t know if I just took it the wrong way when CG were disrespectful since they’re more experienced than me, but all of your comment have helped me a lot!🫶🏻

[Deleted Member]

Good question 🤔 But the key here is to ask! Communication is super important in this dynamic and definitely needs to be a two-way street with lines of communication, openness, building trust, and understanding. Personally, I love to nurture, develop, and enable my little to be the best version of themselves, and that includes outside of the bedroom to.

[co****]

Watch how they respond to vulnerability and bids for connection. Nurturing is both choice and reflex.
What would their response be if play was off the table for 2 weeks? What would you both do together?
Nurturing caregivers/daddies/mommies will typically have a faster response time because they've considered connecting in ways outside the bedroom. The quality of the reply will demonstrate empathy, their understanding of who you are and their interest in having a dynamic/fluid lifestyle with you

[Paddy1980]

Take your time and find out what’s good till for you then take it from there. Good luck :)