Dirty Little Slut 5

[Deleted Member]

Fair warning: you don't want to read this one. Its not sexy, its a sub with depression and self esteem issues half heartedly participating in a scene for *** of backing out and disappointing a dom. As always in instructed to upload and if you wish to read i can't stop you, just know its not the erotic piece my others were.

She was ordered to strip down once more, but had the difficult position of being ***d to admit she had yet to dress, although leaving out the detail she was too depressed after a shower to put something back on. She knew this had excited him and put on her panties and glasses as instructed, surprised by the suddenness she was being instructed to act as typically he would tease her before allowing any action. She laid on her back and kicked the blankets off of her, spreading her legs and positioning herself as she knew he would want her, and began rubbing at her clit through the thin panties. He wanted an update on how wet she had gotten and instructed her to spread her legs and wedgie her panties tightly against herself. 

The way the fabric pulled offered a small bit of stimulation, and she gladly returned to rubbing although found she had to go much harder to be felt through the bunched up fabric. Her hips rocked slightly under the stimulation, and when he heard he instructed her to push the fabric of her panties in herself slightly, and the mild stimulation caused her to rock more powerfully against the feeling. He wanted her to rub her clit and use the handle of her hair brush to tease at her opening, and the push of the panties felt uncomfortable due to the wetness, but good in a strange way. He had degraded her and humiliated her heavily recently and she knew it was a way of showing his fondness for her which made her quite happy. 

However for some reason she found herself less and less invested in the activity. Was it her depression from earlier still affecting her? Then he revealed a new plan to humiliate her, to fetch a pen and write "filthy fucktoy" across her chest. She opened the bedside table next to her, hesitant but eager to comply, and immediately found a pen to set to her skin. Trying the pen on first her breast and then various surfaces she found it to not work. Slightly frustrated she opened the drawer once more and fetched another, laughing a bit at her luck.

"I should have read the syllabus closer, I'm terribly unprepared", she had thought to herself and laughed at the terrible joke. Finding another pen she struggled to get the cap off, before realizing that it was deceptively made so the cap twisted and the tip was on the opposite side. Once again she was laughing at herself and trying terribly hard to be invested in the erotic side of the situation. As instructed she wrote "filthy" across one breast and "fucktoy" across another, and while she had fantasized about being covered in that and more vulgar terms she found it very hard to be invested in the moment. As soon as she reported success he requested "destroy my fuckholes" be written above her cunt. Having to move her stomach slightly to see, she briefly wondered about if he would be attracted if he had really seen her. He was attracted to small breasts, innocence, would he find her body to "adult", or to plump for his taste? She tried to push such thoughts out of her mind and just follow the order.

He wanted a description of what he would see if he looked upon her. She looked down at how her long brown hair had fallen to entirely eclipse her breasts and trail past them. She described the scene as best she could, trying to ensure that he enjoyed it. He wanted her to describe how her body felt, and hoping to provide a pleasing account she provided how she had felt rather than how she was feeling. She was pleased he seemed to still be enjoying her, but knew that she had to tell the truth rather than trying to figure out how to keep the act up. She couldn't lie, it was against her nature, but to mislead him would only put her to a place of having to lie later on. She was worried about his reaction, he had taken things well that many others had not but she still was worried he may see her as a bad submissive or be angry at her loss of interest. But she operated in the philosophy its better to anger someone now than have them even more upset at how long they did not know. Upset to have to tell him but aware she was only getting less invested in the moment as it drug on, she carefully typed out a message.

[Cade]

Self awareness and personal growth ARE sexy. Truth IS sexy. You are doing an awesome job giving this story depth! Maybe there is more to having innocence lost...

[Deleted Member]

Thank you Bluebella 

[sissy_petra_uk_slut]

This is brilliant, you are baring your soul , I can relate to how you feel, as I am like that at times. I was immersed in empathy. What could more meaning ful and at the same time as being sexy, .

[Th****]

This was brilliant and so brave Bella. Thank you so very much for the insights that this brought. It was sexy, the humanity, devotion and vulnerability is very sexy indeed.