Im not sure if its a good thing to like it as much as I did.

[Yaaaaaaay]

So long story short. I was with a woman who told me she like it rough. Like really rough. Physical ***, degrading all that. Completely dominated. The more I put in the more she liked it.
At first it was hard for me to go that far. I held back but eventually overcame that.

Don't get me wrong I do not *** and have never physically ***d any woman and never would. In that situation it was ok. To clarify there was no punching. But everything just short of that. Now here's the part that's bugging me. In the heat of it, I really liked it.
The aggression and the control was like a drug.
Is this normal? I don't think it should feel that good to *** someone to that extent.

[UrsaMajor]

Makes ya wonder about how many of our ancestors were conceived that way.

Edited July 18 by UrsaMajor
clarity

[An****]

I'd say that it's pretty normal. You were combining it with pleasure, and it was consensual. She unlocked a hidden kink that you didn't know you had.

[Lo****]

Yes totally normal its a kink and sexual its not *** when its sexual and both people consent.

[Lo****]

A b u s e **

[Qu****]

It is a drug... adrenaline, endorphins, and probably some oxytocin. What you experienced is known as top space.

[La****]

Its called: being in a dom space/top space. Congratulations with finding out more of what you like.

[Deleted Member]

Yes, finding out what you really like and to be able even once to live this to full extent can and will potentially screw your sex-life 😉. I know it screwed mine big time 😅

[Se****]

It's a part of hardwired biology. It's not great, and we can deprogram and overcome it. But yeah what you've found is that ***y part of our condition. Personally when I find that space my dick gets limp because of whatever trauma informs my messaging. I've had sexual partners who trusted me enough to go into that place and it's been a difficult thing to navigate.
But to your question: no don't feel any shame, but yes evolve and control your instincts.

[co****]

What's normal can be unique to everyone, and so this is more something to look inwardly about, with curiosity and non judgement. Easy pnfall into the trap of questioning your kink/personal identity and even self shaming, but I'd encourage you to meet this discovery with a healthy level of self-acceptance, curiosity, non-judgement, and see if there's a community if people who've experienced the same? Also worth discussing it with your playmate/partner; what thoughts, feelings and sensations od you notice during it, what was enjoyable vs what could be modified?

[Ra****]

For me it boils down to three words “Two CONSENTING adults”. She requested, you acquiesced, follow your path or fight it. It’s your choice.
My 2¢
C’est la vie

[ey****]

9 hours ago, Yaaaaaaay said:

Is this normal? I don't think it should feel that good to *** someone to that extent.

So, you're kinda going through a form of "Dom Drop" - that of course it felt great at the time, but now of course feelings of guilt, for particularly liking something which goes against everything you believe is right. 

And whereas aftercare for subs is important, so is after care for Dominants - and this could include talking through things with play partner etc being open with how you feel and making sure it is what she wanted 

[Yaaaaaaay]

Thanks for all your responses. I don't actually feel guilty about it. I made sure she was good after. She was glowing lol

[do****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

So, you're kinda going through a form of "Dom Drop" - that of course it felt great at the time, but now of course feelings of guilt, for particularly liking something which goes against everything you believe is right. 

And whereas aftercare for subs is important, so is after care for Dominants - and this could include talking through things with play partner etc being open with how you feel and making sure it is what she wanted 

So on point 💯

[Do****]

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

So, you're kinda going through a form of "Dom Drop" - that of course it felt great at the time, but now of course feelings of guilt, for particularly liking something which goes against everything you believe is right. 

And whereas aftercare for subs is important, so is after care for Dominants - and this could include talking through things with play partner etc being open with how you feel and making sure it is what she wanted 

This!

[Yaaaaaaay]

I think it has to do with always being told that it is a no no to put hands on a woman. It's like all the years of bullshit I had to put up with (mental and even physical shit, and wanting to put hands on them, finally I was able to with no consequences. And I liked it. I had to slow myself down. I don't want to get used to that. Anyone else experience that?

[Al****]

If she likes it!?! I love it!!!

[Tw****]

Yes it's normal, especially if you like the sub. Also if the sub is enjoying it then where is the harm?
-
If you're concerned about possible retribution, get a contract or have the sub make a video of them giving full consent/outlining hard limits.

[ey****]

7 minutes ago, TwistedTreat69 said:

If you're concerned about possible retribution, get a contract or have the sub make a video of them giving full consent/outlining hard limits.

those actually hold zero weight

most of what we do in kink is actually against the law - so you can't contract away breaking the law.  One of the other golden things on consent is it can be revoked at any time.   They can also make the scene more difficult i.e. the sub wants to stop/change/etc but feels they can't because they've signed to something - which, in essence, can cause them to go through with stuff they're not happy with and then, ultimately, not wish to play again.

There's also the issue that hard limits are non-exhaustive.  

The best way to avoid retribution is to make sure you have clear trust and communication with the other person and not try to co-erce them under flimsy legal defence.

[Tw****]

14 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

those actually hold zero weight

most of what we do in kink is actually against the law - so you can't contract away breaking the law.  One of the other golden things on consent is it can be revoked at any time.   They can also make the scene more difficult i.e. the sub wants to stop/change/etc but feels they can't because they've signed to something - which, in essence, can cause them to go through with stuff they're not happy with and then, ultimately, not wish to play again.

There's also the issue that hard limits are non-exhaustive.  

The best way to avoid retribution is to make sure you have clear trust and communication with the other person and not try to co-erce them under flimsy legal defence.

A written contract will have some weight as evidence in a court. Paper "Illegal" contracts are used as evidence all the time... To support a defense case or reinf0rce litigation for damages...
-
I actually agree with you about the withdrawal/stop/change of play that would be something for an already defined dynamic, like husband/wife duo where assets are shared.
-
Using contracts to coerse someone into something speaks wonders about your mind, anyone who thinks this way gets a red card from me. A contract exists in many states verbal/written and ***... this is how most courts globally also see contracts?

[ey****]

16 minutes ago, TwistedTreat69 said:

A written contract will have some weight as evidence in a court.

Depends what is written on the contract.  If it is "I can have sex with you whenever I want" -  no.  If it's "I can hit you with a cane" - no.  And there's a whole bunch of other things which are illegal, but shall we say tolerated - but - if someone goes to the law and files for ***, then this is something that cannot be consented to.

There is also of course their side that they could claim they signed under duress, which would also invalidate the contract.

18 minutes ago, TwistedTreat69 said:

Using contracts to coerse someone into something speaks wonders about your mind, anyone who thinks this way gets a red card from me.

Here's a thing.  You have to understand subs mindsets.   Why don't some subs say no, or use a safeword, or so on when they clearly need to.

And there's a lot of answers - lots of different reasons - some in that some cases it is actually difficult for them to call stop. Not much can be done about that, but this is something a Dominant has to be mindful of.

Sometimes it's because they feel they'd be letting their Dominant down. Ties in with the above. Something Dominants have to be mindful of.

Sometimes it's because they feel they HAVE to go through with something.  And having signed up on what appears to be legal duress might mean they feel they have to.   And it's all comms issues.  But it's something that again Dominants have to be wary of, and that submissives shouldn't feel threatened by.

Like, there can be benefits for things written down, but BDSM-based contracts hold no legal weight since what you're doing is already illegal in most territories.  There's even clarifications in many laws which state that "it was BDSM" cannot be used as a defence