About me
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Description
Here for real life interaction. No pen pals.
Limits
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Fetish.com is like an appetizing smorgasbord in Oakland with lots of hot guys to meet up with. Have a look around first if you prefer to see who’s around, or if you know what you want, search by selecting the right category "Kinky Dating”. Nobody stays alone here for long! Fetish.com has tons going on!
Here for real life interaction. No pen pals.
Ghosting / Non Response
Some people don't know how to politely say thanks but no thanks. I have so much more respect for someone who responds and declines. I will actually thank them for that and let them know its appreciated.
People can ignore someone and put bad vibes out into the world which in turn definitely brings Read more… bad vibes back. Or be nice, respectful and cordial. Its really not that hard to do. I personally would love to see a better world then the one we live in and that starts with what we put out. Treat everyone with respect. Do better, be better then you were yesterday and tomorrow will be great.
Im not sure if its a good thing to like it as much as I did.
So long story short. I was with a woman who told me she like it rough. Like really rough. Physical ***, degrading all that. Completely dominated. The more I put in the more she liked it.
At first it was hard for me to go that far. I held back but eventually overcame that.
Don't get me wrong I do Read more…not *** and have never physically ***d any woman and never would. In that situation it was ok. To clarify there was no punching. But everything just short of that. Now here's the part that's bugging me. In the heat of it, I really liked it.
The aggression and the control was like a drug.
Is this normal? I don't think it should feel that good to *** someone to that extent.
At first it was hard for me to go that far. I held back but eventually overcame that.
Don't get me wrong I do Read more…not *** and have never physically ***d any woman and never would. In that situation it was ok. To clarify there was no punching. But everything just short of that. Now here's the part that's bugging me. In the heat of it, I really liked it.
The aggression and the control was like a drug.
Is this normal? I don't think it should feel that good to *** someone to that extent.
LikeSRJ76, yellagirl31and 30 more… · 20 Replies
eyemblacksheep ➦eyemblacksheep quote TwistedTreat69:❝A written contract will have some weight as evidence in a court.❞
Depends what is written on the contract. If it is "I can have sex with you whenever I want" - no. If it's "I can hit you with a cane" - no. And there's a whole bunch of other things which are Read more… illegal, but shall we say tolerated - but - if someone goes to the law and files for ***, then this is something that cannot be consented to.
There is also of course their side that they could claim they signed under duress, which would also invalidate the contract.
➦eyemblacksheep quote TwistedTreat69:❝Using contracts to coerse someone into something speaks wonders about your mind, anyone who thinks this way gets a red card from me.❞
Here's a thing. You have to understand subs mindsets. Why don't some subs say no, or use a safeword, or so on when they clearly need to.
And there's a lot of answers - lots of different reasons - some in that some cases it is actually difficult for them to call stop. Not much can be done about that, but this is something a Dominant has to be mindful of.
Sometimes it's because they feel they'd be letting their Dominant down. Ties in with the above. Something Dominants have to be mindful of.
Sometimes it's because they feel they HAVE to go through with something. And having signed up on what appears to be legal duress might mean they feel they have to. And it's all comms issues. But it's something that again Dominants have to be wary of, and that submissives shouldn't feel threatened by.
Like, there can be benefits for things written down, but BDSM-based contracts hold no legal weight since what you're doing is already illegal in most territories. There's even clarifications in many laws which state that "it was BDSM" cannot be used as a defence
Depends what is written on the contract. If it is "I can have sex with you whenever I want" - no. If it's "I can hit you with a cane" - no. And there's a whole bunch of other things which are Read more… illegal, but shall we say tolerated - but - if someone goes to the law and files for ***, then this is something that cannot be consented to.
There is also of course their side that they could claim they signed under duress, which would also invalidate the contract.
➦eyemblacksheep quote TwistedTreat69:❝Using contracts to coerse someone into something speaks wonders about your mind, anyone who thinks this way gets a red card from me.❞
Here's a thing. You have to understand subs mindsets. Why don't some subs say no, or use a safeword, or so on when they clearly need to.
And there's a lot of answers - lots of different reasons - some in that some cases it is actually difficult for them to call stop. Not much can be done about that, but this is something a Dominant has to be mindful of.
Sometimes it's because they feel they'd be letting their Dominant down. Ties in with the above. Something Dominants have to be mindful of.
Sometimes it's because they feel they HAVE to go through with something. And having signed up on what appears to be legal duress might mean they feel they have to. And it's all comms issues. But it's something that again Dominants have to be wary of, and that submissives shouldn't feel threatened by.
Like, there can be benefits for things written down, but BDSM-based contracts hold no legal weight since what you're doing is already illegal in most territories. There's even clarifications in many laws which state that "it was BDSM" cannot be used as a defence
LikeDommeDelight
· 19.07.2025 10:32:57
TwistedTreat69 ➦TwistedTreat69 quote eyemblacksheep:❝those actually hold zero weight
most of what we do in kink is actually against the law - so you can't contract away breaking the law. One of the other golden things on consent is it can be revoked at any time. They can also make the scene more difficult i.e. Read more… the sub wants to stop/change/etc but feels they can't because they've signed to something - which, in essence, can cause them to go through with stuff they're not happy with and then, ultimately, not wish to play again.
There's also the issue that hard limits are non-exhaustive.
The best way to avoid retribution is to make sure you have clear trust and communication with the other person and not try to co-erce them under flimsy legal defence.❞
A written contract will have some weight as evidence in a court. Paper "Illegal" contracts are used as evidence all the time... To support a defense case or reinf0rce litigation for damages...
-
I actually agree with you about the withdrawal/stop/change of play that would be something for an already defined dynamic, like husband/wife duo where assets are shared.
-
Using contracts to coerse someone into something speaks wonders about your mind, anyone who thinks this way gets a red card from me. A contract exists in many states verbal/written and ***... this is how most courts globally also see contracts?
most of what we do in kink is actually against the law - so you can't contract away breaking the law. One of the other golden things on consent is it can be revoked at any time. They can also make the scene more difficult i.e. Read more… the sub wants to stop/change/etc but feels they can't because they've signed to something - which, in essence, can cause them to go through with stuff they're not happy with and then, ultimately, not wish to play again.
There's also the issue that hard limits are non-exhaustive.
The best way to avoid retribution is to make sure you have clear trust and communication with the other person and not try to co-erce them under flimsy legal defence.❞
A written contract will have some weight as evidence in a court. Paper "Illegal" contracts are used as evidence all the time... To support a defense case or reinf0rce litigation for damages...
-
I actually agree with you about the withdrawal/stop/change of play that would be something for an already defined dynamic, like husband/wife duo where assets are shared.
-
Using contracts to coerse someone into something speaks wonders about your mind, anyone who thinks this way gets a red card from me. A contract exists in many states verbal/written and ***... this is how most courts globally also see contracts?
Like
· 19.07.2025 10:07:06
eyemblacksheep ➦eyemblacksheep quote TwistedTreat69:❝If you're concerned about possible retribution, get a contract or have the sub make a video of them giving full consent/outlining hard limits.❞
those actually hold zero weight
most of what we do in kink is actually against the law - so you can't contract away Read more… breaking the law. One of the other golden things on consent is it can be revoked at any time. They can also make the scene more difficult i.e. the sub wants to stop/change/etc but feels they can't because they've signed to something - which, in essence, can cause them to go through with stuff they're not happy with and then, ultimately, not wish to play again.
There's also the issue that hard limits are non-exhaustive.
The best way to avoid retribution is to make sure you have clear trust and communication with the other person and not try to co-erce them under flimsy legal defence.
those actually hold zero weight
most of what we do in kink is actually against the law - so you can't contract away Read more… breaking the law. One of the other golden things on consent is it can be revoked at any time. They can also make the scene more difficult i.e. the sub wants to stop/change/etc but feels they can't because they've signed to something - which, in essence, can cause them to go through with stuff they're not happy with and then, ultimately, not wish to play again.
There's also the issue that hard limits are non-exhaustive.
The best way to avoid retribution is to make sure you have clear trust and communication with the other person and not try to co-erce them under flimsy legal defence.
Likemagic_touch, DommeDelight, PrincessLu80
· 19.07.2025 9:52:22
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