Advice on cuckolding

[Deleted Member]

Husband is hinting cuckolding. As the submissive to a vanilla wife (me), he typically finds ways to start the topic. In this instance, it went something like "You wouldnt fuck someone else in front of me. No way, that would be fucked up." And after many back and forth comments, he would say something like, "well,  Im not concerned becaise you'll never do it". I take that as he is challenging to make it happen. Ive never done anything like this before. I am nervous it's not the right thing to do.

1. How do I know if he's serious?

2. Should I be concerned about what male on male things might happen? And what if Im not okay with it? Do I stop it or let it happen as it's his fantasy? 

3. How will this change my marriage? 

4. What if I enjoy the sex? Isn't that wrong? 

If you are vanilla and married to someone with a submissive fetish Id love to hear from you. Where do I draw the line???

[th****]

u will enjoy the sex

[Deleted Member]

Don’t say no, say may be, if that turns you on! and see how he responds

[Deleted Member]

He’s serious.
If you aren’t okay with it, say No. You always have that right.
Talk about it, a lot, to understand what you’re both (not) okay with.

[le****]

I say give it a try but start slow. Theres always time to do more later, dont try to get it all done in one night. Start with maybe doing one small thing in front of him once or twice then gradually do more until you're comfortable- and before you know it you'll have 3 guys standing around you while your husband sits in a chair in the corner waiting for them to finish so he can clean up their messes....

[SOW8732]

Would kinda play with the idea some. Tease him with the thought of maybe doing it and see his reaction. At that point maybe open the door to conversation and boundaries. With anything communication is key.
Just because it’s his fantasy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy it. You definitely should as well. So maybe as y’all role play you might find the thing that turns you on and would want from it.
I personally use to love see my lady pleased by others and the more she enjoyed it the more I lusted over her. Just remember it’s just fun 😈

[Ha****]

Hi Jess,

1) Have you actually asked him whether he fantasies about being cuckolded? Ask him whether the thought of seeing you with another man horrifies him, scares him or excites him.

2) what makes you think there would be male on male action? Is your husband gay/bi? If not, then you have nothing to worry about. Any cuckold scenario should include clear lines and boundaries that all 3 people are comfortable with.

3) Yes. If you both enjoy it or both regret it then it will probably make your marriage better. The problem occurs if one of you enjoys it but the other doesn't and you end up with conflicting goals going forward.

4) Not at all. Why would it be wrong if you enjoy it and he enjoys watching it? Win-win.

5) The lines are drawn upon agreement/negotiation with your husband, and the acceptance of those lines by the 3rd party.

6) You're obviously (and naturally) nervous about it, but are you also intrigued and excited at the thought of it? If not, then it's probably not for you. But only you can decide that, and only following a fully open and honest discussion with your husband. Bottom line is that both of you have to be in to it and there have clear rules/limits.

[ge****]

you are in dangerous waters Jess-33… he is baiting you… maybe not consciously… but he’s talking in riddles… you know him, we don’t…
I wouldn’t act on anything at this point… except to talk to him… confront him.. ask escalatingly hard questions… be tactical about it. Maybe seek marriage counseling…

[Ro****]

If he isn't mature enough to co,e out and ask, he isn't mature enough to handle the ramifications after.

[To****]

Me too

[Su****]

Hi! As someone who has been watched before! I can tell you rn. Your feelings are very valid. However, you need to speak to your husband about this topic and get deeper into it ask the hard questions. Maybe find a counselor who you can talk to about these fantasies with. And find out if it’s just something on his bucket list or if it might change everything. Don’t give in. To what he wants rn . Stand your ground say you want to discuss the topic deeper. Like I said ask the hard questions don’t be afraid. Good luck xo

[le****]

Many guys have the fantasy. It is up to you how to play with it. Do you just use it to make him cum talking about it, want to try it, have rules to trying it? If you don't want to try, tell him. If you want rules to try set them. All sex is frank communication. Talk openly always

[Pu****]

You need to have more open and honest conversations with your partner and discuss these things with them, make sure it's something they'd want and how you would deal with the situations as a couple. And definitely don't be ***d into anything you are uncomfortable with.

[fu****]

Go slow and keep talking first. It's a door that once you go through, you can't undo it. For what it's worth, my experience has been that most couples can't handle it over the medium-long term. Older couples tend to handle it much better.

Those that can handle it, I can't honestly say how many learned to suppress a feeling of something being wrong (no comment on if that's a good thing) and how many it just worked naturally well for.

Its quite often one of those things that sounds exy until it happens. If a guy makes you cum like he can't - he can't ever unsee it or unknow it. If you get a taste of something amazing with someone who won't commit to you, you may become unhappy in your relationship. These are genuine risks.

But as a man who was the extra in another's relationship - it was messy. What was supposed to be "just sex" was not after a few times, the wife began to focus heavily on me, asked me in private to do things that I later learned her husband wanted to do but she would never allow and ultimately, the husband was in some form of deeply unhealthy denial about things escalating and I had to stop seeing her because they had issues I was absolutely not the solution to.

[co****]

Hey there!
Not a sub, however I've got some thoughts:

1) The only way to be sure it's not a concealed desire to explore new territory, is to sit down with him in an open, curious, non judgemental way for you and your partner, and ask if there are any ideas that present themselves when you both consider trying something new. There isn't any good substitute for clear, open, respectful, empathetic, emotionally intelligent communication 👌

2) The concern is very natural, in fact there might be multiple concerns on both sides, however the the solution is ironically simple, yet easier said than done. Having a discussion about what your partner would/wouldn't be open to in an interaction with another male will help esablish boundaries
(*very important*)
And after a vetting process with another guy, communicating boundaries and establish what is and isn't ok before you play--consent is everything. If you're not okay with how an event unfolds, you are in no way obligated to preserve the peace around you at the expense of the peace within you. Voice it, and your partner should hear you amd respect your wishes. Notice the feelings as they arise, pause, then respond. If the consent plug is pulled, play should cease immediately until boundaries are reaffirmed or should stop altogether.

3). The path to discovery can be new and exciting, and fraught with anxiety and apprehension simultaneously. Discovering your likes and dislikes is a journey you take together, and in theory, should make you stronger as you progress through. Relationship dynamics and marriages are as different as the people that comprise them, and there isn't necessarily a set way for them to be unless you make it so. The kink life has an element of challenging pre-concieved notions, ideals and is called kink because it defies the vanilla. As for how it changes--discussion with your partner is key

4) If you enjoy it, the greatest service you can do for yourself and your oartner is to be honest. During aftercare, share thoughts and feelings with one another that arose during which scenes! Exploring your likes and dislikes is easiest with an air of curiousity rather than non-judgement, and so long as it's between 2+ consenting adults, it isn't wrong per sei. If it betrays your values then I'd advise going against it, calling it a 'Hard Limit', however keep in mind having mixed feelings about a new experience is completely natural!

Where to draw the line?
Discussion, exploration of ideas, setting boundaries and limits, consent-consent-consent, and to best evolve your marriage--open honesty without judgement or shame, empathic communication skills, and only move at an agrred upon pace that's comfortable for you both.

All the best,

C

[Pr****]

Master roleplay and the illusion. That lifestyle can be a poison to a healthy man who really just wants the high of emgaging a taboo fantasy. I've had more than a few friends regret opening that door, maybe start with swinging and soft swapping to test the waters before diving into the depths blindly.

[ey****]

To be honest, some of these are not the questions for the board

Because, well, we don't know your relationship/dynamic

But there are questions

The first of which is - is this something you would enjoy or want to do?

If no, then the next time he hints it up - plain out tell him, yes he's right - you've no interest in doing that

Either which way

He needs to communicate properly.  No indirect hints or steering.  If there's something he wants to try or wants to do he needs to plain out say it. From there there's then questions you can ask both him and yourself of what might and might not work for you both. An open conversation on any concerns you both have and how to mitigate them - and also establish if this is just a hot fantasy or something you want to do 

 

[si****]

If he's challenging you into having sex with someone else, that's not a healthy way of communicating his desires, and communication is crucial to a cuckold dynamic. After all, sex brings out wild unpredictable feelings in people, and you're going to bring another person into the bedroom, you'll need to provide honest updates every step of the way. For example, he might be fine with one sexual act, but another breaks his heart and fills him with anxiety. He can't keep this to himself if he's serious about letting you have sex with other people. This should answer question 2. NEVER just let something happen if you're not comfortable with it. You don't want to set a precedent where it's okay for your partner to do something hurtful, and possibly invite it to happen regularly.
On a side note. It could potentially open new levels of honesty. As one with a cuckold kink, partners find it refreshing that they can open up to me about how good their l
past lovers were, and how handsome they find other men.

[Hypnofox]

At some point the open conversation needs to be had. I agree with the above that this is not the best method to express this desire, however, many men struggle with revealing this kink especially when it turns them on to have it done without their permission, BUT this is not an excuse, of course, to just go with it. Even CNC has the word consensual. The best thing would be to lay it out plainly. Especially as your submissive, he may actually enjoy you taking charge of the conversation. Approach it and be clear of all the details. Tell him you want to fulfill any kink he wants to enjoy, but that even if from then on, only safe words apply, you need to set initial boundaries and clear limits so you can fully enjoy this. Communication, communication, communication. Start with the simple, "I want to fulfill your desires as your partner, would you enjoy watching me with another person? If so, we need to have an open and clear discussion about what boundaries you want us to follow, so that when it happens, you can play out the fantasy exact as you want." Many of the questions you ask only your partner can answer. Make it clear, does he want to interact, does he want to just watch and thats it? The end point is for you BOTH to enjoy it so within the boundaries of accepted communicated terms you can absolutely enjoy the sex, its what he wants (if your instincts are correct, and this will be confirmed by communication)

You are doing absolutely the best thing by keeping your partner's feelings at the forefront but its also very, very important your feelings are regarded as well. If theres more advice I can give or assistance, please feel free to message me! I hope you both are able to increase your joy and pleasure!

[ja****]

1-he is serious. The hints and comments suggest he is fishing for your reactions. If he sees an approval, he will go further.
2-there is a chance for some action between male on males during this but it's up to you and your partner to discuss, if you are there then there is approval on your behalf, you must discuss everything and every turn that you might face along the way
3-it will change your marriage, you have to know the reasons behind him asking.. It could change for the better and it could dramatically get bad
4-you will like the sex and you will enjoy it and embrace it along the way, now the question is how far would you go (chastity husband/bull)

I suggest that you start slowly, talk to him during sec about an ex boyfriend, fish for his reaction.. If you decide to do it.. Don't do it in your inner circle at first, and don't let him be present.. Then tell him about it.. And slowly walk your way up to let him watch.

[Dz****]

COMMUNICATION is key! You should not explore anything until each of your desires have been laid out and you both find the comfort to proceed, slowly is best. Draw the line until your partner opens up

[Ta****]

In my experience, you’re at a point a lot of couples reach. He’s questioning how open and into the kink and sex play you are and you’re questioning your own interest. It’s a rule of thirds here… 1/3 of couples stay in their own private Idaho (don’t do anything about the idea), 1/3 find someone to have a threesome or foursome with and 1/3 take the plunge into the hot wife lifestyle.

How do you know if he is serious? Try asking him. LOL! Ask him if he wants to see you take 1 or 2 other cocks. If he says yes, ask him if he wants to see you take 3 or 4. That will tell you if he really wants to get into it and whether it’s cool for you to open that door.

Why would you think make intake action would happen? I’ll tell you right now that 50% of guys out there have issues getting it up and staying hard when they are naked around another guy. 😂 Truth! If you think he might be into men, you should ask. Healthy partnerships communicate.

It won’t change a strong partnership and actually removes possessiveness sometimes bringing people closer. Alternatively, if there’s distrust or jealousy in the relationship, don’t go there because it can turn into a drama fest.

What if you enjoy it? Well… if you don’t, you definitely picked the man or men poorly and shouldn’t feel obligated to continue. The idea behind any scene like this is pleasure and passion for the lady. If that doesn’t happen, something was definitely done wrong. Is it wrong? NO! Is it wrong to like how a vibrator feels? Same answer.

[Ex****]

Answer 1: he is hella serious...like Jay said he is fishing to get your reaction...he is totally down for it just wants to know your thoughts without specifically asking.

Answer 2: (a)in my opinion I think you may be reading into it a little bit. Unless you think your husband is bi? (my first thought about having 2 men with me is not if something is going to happen between them). So maybe find out first if he is bi or strictly straight and that will answer your question about having to worry. (B) If your not ok with it just say so. (C) You stop it immediately...FUCK his fantasy there isn't any taking one for the team in these situations.

Answer 3: that depends on how it goes and how open and honest you are willing to be with each other. So the only answer to that question really depends on how strong your marriage is and how much trust you have in one another.

Answer 4: what if you enjoy the sex? Um ya better!!! No it isn't wrong when it's something you both have agreed on...you think your husband would feel guilty for having another pussy on his cock especially when you are present? FUCK NO!!!

Answer 5: Draw the line at your comfort level but be open to new things! Hope this helps

[DarkArts1066]

Firstly, I would assume from the start that he is serious - BUT … make sure you have a drank, open and honest conversation about this with him -right from the start.
As others have said - I think he is fishing for approval.

And be very frank.

Communication is always the key !!

Actually sit him down, when you are both focused and can’t be distracted, and ask the question - “do you actually want us to explore this ?”.

You BOTH need to put all your cards on the table.
Male on Male activity can happen - but it is NOT a prerequisite !!…. So, establish both yours and his boundaries with regards to that before you make arrangements.

Does he have someone in mind ?
Is it someone you both know ?


I have a Female friend whose partner arranged for them to have a tgreesome with another Male. She left the room for a moment, and came back in to find her partner giving the other Male oral.
They had not discussed this - at all.
She believed h had no interest in that department…. So when she walked back in, it changed the dynamic considerably… and permanently. They are no longer in a relationship.

As to how it “will” change your marriage - no one can predict that. It doesn’t have to change things for the worst - it may open up a whole new line of pleasure and enjoyment for you both.
For many (including myself) making the arrangements are part of the build up and the fun of the whole thing.

You might find yourselves having rampant one on one sex together after an evening of discussing the possibilities.

I am a Dominant Male, and have experienced this from the Bulls’ perspective.

I have also experienced the ‘Hotwifing’ angle - where some of my partners have had sex with others with me present - but without the submission - on my part, of cuckolding.
You might want to explore that angle - as well as the cuckolding one to see which fits your personas better.

Finally, - both if you need to approach this from a relaxed perspective. If one -or both of you are anxious, then there will be tension, and nether of you will get the most out of the experience.

Pick a day and time, perhaps check into a nice hotel, have a pamper day, then arrange to meet your Bull in the evening.

Have a drink in the bar with them, (ONE !- not several….) chat, chill, enjoy.

The first time I did this with my partner and we brought another Male onboard, we took a bottle of champagne to the room, had a giggle, and got down to the fun.

(Like I say, mine was more of a Hotwifing’ experience)

Set yourselves a safeword that you can both use.
If something feels wrong - or off, use the safeword. Stop, re-evaluate, ans continue -if appropriate, from there.

Likewise, if you meet someone in a bar first, use the safeword if one of you isn’t comfortable with the person you’ve chosen.
You can always make your excuses and leave…
Not so easy if you invite someone into your own home !

I’m happy to have further discussions with you about this if my comments are helpful.

Good luck, I hope you enjoy whatever you eventually decide to do.

[ma****]

I was invited into a marriage to be a dom after I went through my divorce. The wife and I dated when we were ***s. We met up and I dominated her in a hotel her husband paid for, and afterwards him and I met each other. It was a kink of his but he also enjoyed being able to play with other women in his marriage. Things evolved into a non gay polygamous relationship for 7 years. Him and I never touched each other and we became great friends through this. She divorced him after 6 years and let me go after 7 because she wanted to be the dominant and I couldn’t do that. With this winding tale I will urge you to know your husbands desires and make a many fantasies as you can come true. However just know that if you do decide to venture into this lifestyle he will probably require other women and also feelings can come on during this type of situation. Talk about everything in depth before you get into anything. Good luck to you.