FFM Relations

[As****]

Maybe let her pick or involve her more in the selection

[Dr****]

Let her pick. If she's the main 1 any other is really a add on bonus so let her choose. It's all in fun right

[Deleted Member]

Communication (As mentioned in the other comments). <3

She may not feel ready to disclose. - Cease the threesome, she is the priority. Give her time to think and check if she is ready to discuss it a later time/date.

Imagine. You are in a threesome, you see your partner, enjoying themselves with another. Not caring who that person is, what they look like, being happy for your partner having fun, supporting their desires, being a little involved, happy they are pleased. Imagine you handle your partner firmly and gently and they make light sounds. Then the third person is more rough, hard, careless, on a mission with a tight deadline... powering through, how would you look at your partner, hearing noises that are not the same as when you are with them, seeing expressions you don't normally see or as often, a new experience or simply different. You could be feeling excited, nervous, uneasy, jealous, envious something else, but perhaps it's because you should be having the most enjoyable experience with your partner and everyone else should be a support of that experience, perhaps your partner not only needs to know, but also feel this to be true.

Or perhaps, it's not even about you, she is thinking that idiot left those dishes on the side, or maybe she secretly desired the female, or maybe it is about you, she's quite good, am I going to lose him to the next one that joins in...questioning if she is replaceable...or your Primary. Perhaps she is questioning it, or hoping you get it out your system and refocus on her.

Speculation is endless. The sessions should have already stopped, but otherwise end the sessions, spend time with her, she is priority, otherwise I'd have to question if you are worthy of her.

Hope you work it out and get some real communication going and both move forward in a positive direction <3 Perhaps take her to a place where she can enjoy an experience focused on you seeing her happy. It doesn't have to be sexual.

[ki****]

You two should find them together. My partner and I will swipe together on dating site then put them in a group chat. No one gets to talk to them alone. Now we have brought in friends that one of us might known before. Before hand though we show pictures and talk about them. She could just feel left out of the process. Need to talk more about her type.

[Au****]

Here’s the REAL question: Why is your sub consenting to a threesome when she “haters the woman you choose”? Unless she enjoys seething with jealousy and having sex with people she hates (which is unlikely since she’s communicating that she’s unhappy with it), she should feel empowered to safe word out of a threesome if she’s really miserable. If she doesn’t want to safeword out, she should feel comfortable telling you that the threesome is not enjoyable to her, or that she doesn’t want to do threesomes, or that she wants to be involved in picking the person out. It may be that you two are taking the D/s dynamic too literally and forgetting that a slave’s consent matters, too. It doesn’t sound like there’s honest communication or enthusiastic consent here.

Is she afraid she’ll lose her relationship with you if she doesn’t consent to threesomes? Will she? If that’s not the case, it’s not consent, it’s ***.

This issue with her potentially consenting to threesomes when she doesn’t want threesomes opens up a whole can of worms… Because what else is she consenting to that she doesn’t actually enjoy? Does she even like the D/s dynamic that you two have established, or is she trying to please you there as well?

This is really important because if she’s not enjoying the play, it could be seriously traumatizing her.

[Al****]

Why

[Rh****]

Maybe she really isn't into threesomes like she said.

[Deleted Member]

I'm telling you right now, from personal experience. You need to slow things down with your sub and have a deep conversation. The only way you can salvage your relationship is to get the truth about how she feels. The number one, most important aspect of a D/s relationship is a deep foundation of trust and openness. If you don't have that, it's going to go bad at some point. I had a very similar situation occur when I was pretty new to being a Dom. I seriously stopped right in the middle of an intense session and pulled her (not physically) into another room. She broke down, and went ballistic on me. Cops, and a whole big mess. I waited too long. DON'T DO THAT!

[ki****]

It's because you are not doing it for both of yours pleasure and experience. You are doing it only for yourself. And why are you the only one picking another woman to bring in and share what's suppose to be a pleasurable experience for you both? Your enjoying the other woman while it sounds like she's just sitting there watching you enjoy your pleasure from the woman you picked to f**k. .. if she's not enjoying it also ,what is the point of bringing another woman into it ? So you can get your satisfaction and pleasure from a woman you choose while she sits back and watches you with no pleasure for her. What would you expect? When you invite another person to join in on the activities that you both enjoy , you don't give all the attention to the one you picked out. It is suppose to be for both of you. This here is exactly what causes problems in a relationship when you choose to bring another person into your bedroom lives. You left your partner at the side lines while you took the ball and ran all by yourself. Good luck .

[Le****]

Maybe she doesn’t really like threesomes. Is it possible she said she like threesomes or is okay with threesomes because you like. Or maybe it could be that there’s another woman involved. Would she have a different reaction if it was a mfm? But sounds like a conversation definitely needs to be had before having another threesomes. Because if you could feel it, I’m willing to bet the other person in the threesome felt it too. And that not fair to any of you. Good luck and I hope everything works out!

[Je****]

My guess is she doesn't really like the 3 somes but is doing it to humor you but if you want to put it to the test, have her pick the girl.

[kd****]

Sounds like she is feeling a bit neglected

[fr****]

Make sure she's getting extra attention from the other sub

[Deleted Member]

I’ve experienced this before and it doesn’t matter who is picking the girl or how much attention you are giving them during(it is supposed to be fun for everyone). First thing I would do is confront her on the jealousy. Maybe indirectly “Does it turn you on when I make you jealous?” Some subs are very sensitive and from my experience jealousy is usual linked to not being fully submissive. She may be struggling to be dominant over the women you are choosing to show you no other woman will take her place. However, she more than likely feels that would be insubordinate to you AKA power struggle. Talk to her about it. Ask her if she feels the need to dominate the women in front of you and if she would like you to support her in doing so.

[EZ****]

Make sure you spend an equal amount of time with both...put them both on leashes. With their proper collars. And show them how daddy handles business..

[Ar****]

I agree that you should let her pick, then you'll know. I also agree that she doesn't like 3somes but if let your girlfriend pick the girl and is unhappy that will tell you.

[su****]

Ensure the new sub knows her place. Make sure OG knows hers. She likely feels you like the new girl more. Show her it’s not true.

[Ba****]

Make sure you finish with her give her and not the others, and make sure she gets way more attention

[se****]

Ask her what she wants.
Let her control the newbie, and you control her, allow her to choose the new girl..

[al****]

Start with giving your og a greater amount of attention or involving her more. Alot of times with ENM the problem is the hinge. You also might have a personality type she doesn't like and it isn't so much about the looks type your choosing.

[tr****]

Maybe she doesn't want the poly life you think she does.

[Ki****]

Make her play with the other woman and watch, you only do her unless both are involved pleasing you. No one should just be watching, in a 3some except you!

[sp****]

Always let her lead your other girl she might be your sub but she's not your other girls sub

[Fa****]

Let her be part of the choosing process. Why are only you choosing if this is for BOTH of yall?
Yall need to sit down and discuss whether this is truely good for the both of yall or just you because it sounds like she gets 0 input and its coming off like she doesnt get a choice in the matter. Doms way or the highway.

[Ka****]

Let her pick the women. Yall may have different interests in women. If she gets turned on by her then you both can enjoy her.