Newbie1984 Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 Ok so you all probably know I'm struggling with my partner but that's by-the-by to this question... Hoping you can help! I have always had some mental health issues and they've mostly been controlled. Years ago when it was bad it helped to be in a sub position, that wonderful feeling of peace gave me a break. Nowadays through a number of external stressors they've got much worse. Assuming I can get my partner to engage, does anyone with these issues find they help? My friend that has been chatting to me about it has given me some basic tasks (non sexual dominant stuff) to give me a taste of if it works and it really seems to help. Maybe it's an odd question (because quite frankly I'm craving it for sexual reasons too) but I was just musing if it might help my brain too. Thanks!
Deleted Member Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 Hi, I would assume from your words you are vanilla now so on that basis I think you already answer your own question. It helped before, in the past and a few tasks already seem to lighten the load 😊
Newbie1984 Posted August 2, 2020 Author Posted August 2, 2020 Yeah, pretty vanilla as my partner is that way, although I was hoping to explore a bit. I thought I could live without it but that's a whole other story... True... I guess I just feel bad for wanting it. It's been ages and I've coped before (but things are markedly worse right now).
Deleted Member Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 We just can't help what we are, trying to be otherwise can only be maintained for so long, misery awaits 😞.
Newbie1984 Posted August 2, 2020 Author Posted August 2, 2020 Yep, I saw something very briefly in a film the other day, someone being flogged... My brain went calm just at the thought. I am concerned about the long term implications I confess.
Pl**** Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 1. I think what helps is too person/situation specific for general advice to be applicable here. 2. You may find that some things, BDSM related or not, may give you some temporary relief, however I am very skeptical that those things are permanent mental health solutions. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you're not dodging the real problems. 3. You may find there are diminishing returns. Like a drug addict needing more *** to reach the same high, you may get less effect as the novelty wears off. One of my first forays into D/s was with someone with mental health issues. I'd known her for a long time, but hadn't seen her much since she'd had a series of traumatic experiences, so I didn't know what I was getting into. She also had additional symptoms created or exacerbated by heavy marijuana use. Among other things, she had severe paranoia and anxiety, and at least in regards to our relationship, she felt much more secure in a more D/s style and worried less if she was making me happy or that I would leave her. So to an extent, it helped. But aside from an overall lower stress level, it did nothing to help her in general. If our relationship or a lack thereof was the source of her issues, maybe it would have been enough, but in the end, those things still needed to be dealt with.
Leisa Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 It would be helpful to know what type of mental health issues you experience. I myself am bipolar and am a wonderful sub. In addition to taking my daily medications which help maintain stability being a sub brings about an entirely new level of calmness. That being said it’s my journey and may not be the same for everyone else. You can only work with what you’ve been given. If it helps to calm and stabilize you and it’s helped before while not guaranteed to help again would probably not harm. I feel most empowered after going into my subspace but that’s just me. More information would be helpful in guiding you through your journey.
Newbie1984 Posted August 2, 2020 Author Posted August 2, 2020 I've got complex PTSD, so mostly anxiety and low mood. I find a lot of things difficult as a result. Yeah I'm working on things in a long term way aside from this, I guess I'm wondering about symptom relief more than anything?
Leisa Posted August 3, 2020 Posted August 3, 2020 Having PTSD from being in the military I’ve found that this lifestyle does help alleviate a lot of the stress associated with the condition. In addition I also have a dog trained to deal with the episodes. At the very least you may find having at least an ESA may help for times outside play. Best of luck to you.
Newbie1984 Posted August 4, 2020 Author Posted August 4, 2020 Thanks, I recently got a dog too. He's not trained but was a carefully selected rescue and is brilliant during episodes. He's made such a difference
Deleted Member Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 The biggest mental health challenge for me when it came to kink was occassionally slipping into hypomania and sometimes getting sexually reckless. I have challenges with bipolar disorder, and I also noticed my desire for masochistic and consensual non-consent play increased at both ends of the mood spectrum. What was stabilizing for me was entering a long-term Ds/SM dating relationship. Play was intense but sporadic. By prior consent on my part, I was on call for occasional lunchtime sex whether I was in the mood or not. He was a switch, and I was his first sub. He was also exploring his sadistic side. I have no significant *** in my past. I don't normally seek high excitement and adrenaline rush. Masochism is a way that I flirt with risk and drama. It's my private, personal, inside joke that so many people who think they know me well would be shocked to know what I have done and would do for erotic enjoyment. My long-time lover helped keep me safe when I might otherwise have gone too far in an up or down period. He's gone now, and I miss him and thank him for many years of enjoyable drama and a full spectrum of sensations and emotions.
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