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a safe situation leads to a new experience (first time playing at a dungeon)


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"When you put yourself in a safe situation, little one, you will be able to more fully enjoy subspace." --Sir MJ



Sooooo….i had another first!! Those of you keeping score know i've been going to kink events....classes, newbie nights, community nights at dungeons. i'd been to one dungeon a few times recently, for their Friday night class and play party night. But i hadn't played at all, preferring just to take part in the class, socialize and watch some of the play. Until my most recent visit, that is!!


As usual, i'd gotten there early to sit in on the program of classes. It was a quiet night there with the classroom only about half full.


The class was cool and afterwards i drifted around, got some coffee and chatted with my friend, who is a member there. It wasn't til later, when i was seated by myself at the long table in the patio, when He approached. A quick introduction followed by the question; where is my (male) friend? "He's somewhere around..." i reply, vaguely. i'm a little disappointed as He quickly retreats, i'd seen him in the class and i still feel fairly awkward and like an outsider; it would have been nice to chat with him a while.


A while later and my friend has left. i spend some time watching in the main room, just relaxing in a comfy chair and soaking up the good vibes. Eventually nature calls and i get up to use the bathroom in the adjoining side room.


As i exit the bathroom, who is there, but him.


i smile and say hello. He is at the opposite end of the room, facing me squarely. It is just he and i in the small side room. "This is no coincidence", i think, but his calm demeanor causes no alarm bells to go off.


Again, he asks about my friend, where he is...."He left," i say. "I thought you two were going to play...?" i laugh, nervously. "Well...he wants to, but i just don't feel comfortable to play with him." We start talking, and eventually he leads me to sit beside him on the large leather (bench? table? cage?). We talk about ourselves--vanilla stuff and kink stuff. i tell him a bit about my journey with all of this, and my experience level. As for himself, he'd found BDSM through swinger lifestyle, and had been going to dungeons for nearly twenty years. He radiates a calm, unhurried vibe. He makes me feel like a real person and when he asks to see, then use, my flogger...it is without hesitation that i bow my head and say, "yes".


Blushing, i hand him the heavy suede instrument, and stand up. Suddenly i'm feeling a bit awkward and i'm grateful when he touches me, gently taking my arms and helping me in to position, partially bent over on the leather bench. i plant my hands shoulder distance on the soft leather, rolling my back and shoulders a bit like i've learned in previous flogging classes.


The first touch is by his hand. i feel his fingertips, all five, gently but firmly against my skin, on my upper back where the black dress leaves me exposed. He repeats this action, again, again, a touch, gentle pressure. i feel his fingers slowly sliding down. Touching me. Establishing connection. Eventually, when his hand is replaced by the soft, teasing touch of the suede falls of the flogger, i'm already halfway into subspace. Retreating to a place of stillness and quietness i so rarely get to feel in my life.


i'm less and less aware of the sounds from the adjoining main room, and from the patio. Vaguely, i hear the door to the patio open; vaguely, i hear voices: the people that had entered, and a quiet, whispered response from him. A moment later and i hear his voice again. i hear it but do not respond; i figure he is addressing whomever he had just uttered the greeting to.


He laughs gently and draws nearer to me, nearer to my ear. "Are you in subspace already, girl?" It is at this point i realize he must have been speaking to me. Between the meditation-like descent into subspace, and my not-so-great hearing, i'd had no idea. i say something, i don't recall what. i probably just giggle and apologize. "That's alright, i will let you enjoy your subspace" he says, his rich, mellow laugh quelling my momentary embarrassment.


A few more light, teasing strokes with the flogger...the long suede falls caressing my back. Then, the first strike. A solid, thick "thump", again on my upper back. Again, and again. A solid thump, now mixed with the teasing, slow draw of the falls down my back. i let myself descend into this meditation; this sub-space; this realm of deeper dreaming.


The strokes become harder, faster. The regularity and pacing shows his experience. He works my upper back, and i relish each hit. There is no ***, not even pleasure, really. Only sensation, and submission.


Eventually, i feel his hands on me, again. Guiding me into position, forcing me to lay flat against the wide bench. i remove my glasses, spread my arms and hands, until my cheek is pressed against the leather. i feel him lift my dress, exposing the lacy black panties and the tops of my thighs. The straps of the garter belt and the tops of the fishnet stockings.


More touching here; caresses, and spankings...then a pause as he again picks up the flogger...


There is more, much more, but the details are lost in the swirly, comforting fog i have now fully descended in to. Sometimes there is ***, but mostly, there is pleasure; pleasure and sensation. Sometimes he leans forward, leaning in, close to my ear. Asking me something, telling me something. i answer each time; i do not remember most of what is said.


"Do you like your hair pulled?" This, i do remember. "yes, R--" i answer. i know he will not be too rough with me. i know i am in good hands; that i am in a safe environment. His hand wraps around my hair, close to the scalp. He pulls me up to a standing position, i feel his body pressed behind mine. i hear his words, whispered into my ear. i feel his tongue and lips, so lightly gliding along my ear, my neck. i feel him guide me back into position, bent at the waist and flush against the smooth leather top of the long, wide bench.


There is more...the heavy tattoo of the flogger against my ass and back. Sometimes, my thighs. Sometimes, between my legs... gently...but i do not move to spread them further. At certain points he switches, using his floggers (he has a matched pair laid out, as the class was on 2 Handed Flogging), or his hand. A funny moment as he tugs on my lacy black panties...i think maybe part of the garter belt has slipped but after a second he confesses that he thought i was wearing two pair of panties (these are "fancy panties", black lace with a "v" of grey-toned leopard print down the center). There is an "ouchy" moment as he bites down on my ass cheek (those that know me know i'm not a fan of "bitey"); but this man is a Master and reads me like a large-print edition...i squirm and twist away, and the action is not repeated.


He takes me up--building up speed or intensity--and brings me down. Flogging, and spanking, touching and caressing. i am somewhat aware of sounds of other scenes in the main room, or people chatting and the smell of cigarettes from the patio. But, mostly, it is blurred out; it is kind of like how i thought it would be like. It's kind of like being in a yoga class: how especially if you are new you might be feeling shy or anxious--after all, you are doing fairly intimate things in a room full of strangers. But when the class begins; and you begin focus on your breath, or balance, or drishti. The room, and all in it, begin to fade away, as you focus on yourself and your inner experience. A good teacher will tell you, when you notice a distraction--to notice it, and let it go (this was an especially good lesson the time i studied at the studio right next to the train tracks). It was similar to how i felt in that side room, in the dungeon. Occasionally i am aware; but honestly, i couldn't say how many people may have walked through, or if any stopped to watch.


Eventually, after a "build up" period of bare handed spanking, there is one good slap on my ass and i crumple a bit, moaning. i fall a bit further against the leather; my legs buckle a bit and become askew. i take a breath, and slowly begin to raise myself up. i don't know how long it's been but i feel like i've reached a limit, or at least, a good stopping point.


i stand, and turn to face him. i'm smiling; i must be beaming. i take a step towards him, into his open arms.


"Thank you R--, for that, for giving my first experience at a dungeon...it felt...amazing", i purr, my head buried against his neck, our bodies intertwined. i feel his energy shift. "Thank you, for trusting me..." he says...he strokes my hair, and holds me. "Thank you for trusting me..."


Eventually, the embrace ends. The aftercare, done. R-- offers to walk me to my car and i graciously accept. But in reality, i'm really not feeling like going home yet. i feel a bit...fuzzy...and it's still early, anyway.


i take a few steps and that fuzzy feeling hits me. Nothing like i'd fall over but, more like, just a bit lightheaded. Lightheaded in a good way, but still. The cool night air of the patio helps but as we reach the table where people stash their toy bags, i confess to him that i'm not feeling well enough to drive just yet. He's putting his floggers back in his suitcase (he had brought in a full suitcase, with another waiting just in case in his car trunk, he told me, and this is just the collection he travels with), and i ask if i can see what else is in there. He laughs. "It would take about three hours to show you everything that is in here!" i see a corner, patched up with duct tape from the strain, i don't doubt it. "Well then, how 'bout just the highlight reel." He laughs and nods, hefting the case from the wooden table and wheeling it back into the side room.


This time we are both standing, facing each other. He places the case on another table/bench and unzips it. As i expected, it is packed to the brim. i smile, sights like this always warm my heart.


He begins to take some things out, pausing to show me certain things and give a few words on them. A lot of floggers, crops, paddle-like instruments in various sizes, shapes and configurations. Since we are now standing face to face, the exposed cleavage of my ample chest gets a sampling of several of the instruments. There are more things, many more...both typical and a-typical and i can see that this man is a true sensualist and quite experienced at his craft.


There is a hairbrush, but it has really long bristles and is a unique shape, kind of like a spade. Maybe it is for horses? i don't know but as he strokes the bristles against my skin, over the now-pink flesh of my cleavage, i get it. There is also a metal wire thing, that i've seen in some bourgeoisie gift shops. It kind of looks like half of a whisk or egg beater and as he applies it to my scalp, wow, i get that, too. i start to melt and purr and almost ask, if i can lay back down on the table so that we may start all over again.


But i keep this thought to myself and soon the tour is over. i'm feeling a bit more back to earth and a bit tired too; ready or not i should begin the long drive home. Again, he offers to walk me to my car.


He holds my hand as we walk, and gives me his phone number. Once we arrive to my car, he hugs me, and asks to kiss me. Tells me to drive safe and text him when i get home.





What a great first experience with playing at a dungeon. i feel really lucky and glad that i waited for an opportunity where i was comfortable and at ease.


i am especially grateful for everyone who has given me advice, and encouragement. Pushing me while letting me know, that it's ok to go at my own pace. Sharing with me their wisdom and experience while letting me listen to my own instincts. Without them; i would not be where i am today and i am so grateful.


To those of you that may be new, or new-ish, or looking to expand on past experience. Remember that there is no right path or right way--only the path or way that is right for you. If something does not seem a good fit, think about it, but don't feel compelled to do it. A good push is ok but if you are being ***d or manipulated--it's probably not a good time for you to do that certain thing. Maybe it will be, in 6 months or 6 years, but there is no need to rush into situations where you feel uncomfortable.


Your right time may look different than my right time; your set of experiences my look different than mine. As long as your time and experiences are good and positive for you--that is all that matters!!



"Intensity in all things, little one. Not foolishness, not recklessness, but intensity..." -- Sir MJ

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