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Why relinquish power when I’ve spent years fighting to have it


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The interiors/exteriors thing is interesting.

I feel the same but inverted as a Dom. In polite society, I feel like I’m fighting for control over myself. To be liked and accepted and seen as a safe, friendly, and valid person. For the record I think I am all those things, and this is not to say that I spend all day actively having to resist hurting people or anything.

But to get Freudian we all suppress our ids, right? We’re careful not to make the tasteless joke, or lash out at the asshole customer, or to look the wrong way at the pretty girl, or to give our hearts away on first dates. We’re careful not to be unlikable. We’re careful not to be ourselves.

So in accepting that gift (and responsibility) of power we can transfer all that fretting and focus onto another person. And it feels like reassurance that even if we behave exactly like the fucked up person we’re afraid of being perceived as, that doesn’t negate that we are accepted, trusted, and even loved. I heard someone recently say “it’s like, ‘what if I am a monster? And what if that’s okay?’”

I think power exchange is beautiful, and that we’re lucky to live in a world we people with diametrically opposed desires can find each other and explore those interiors. It’s like magic, borderline spiritual, that two people who crave the opposite inward experience can be bonded and see each other so deeply.
It's only natural to want to feel heard, be loved for who you are, respected and appreciated. Not what you can do for someone else. Everything is out of balance when selfishness, greed and lust are the only goals and selflessly giving, loving and forgiveness is ignored.
On the rare occasion in life I've found someone who I do consider to be dominant .capable as in they don't have to tell me they're dominant. I simply know what their presence, their actions and their thoughtfulness and what they attend to and what they do not pay attention to. alot of people don't understand that certain aspects of bdam are the most intimate form of trust you can have with someone, truly
Is this beautiful I needed to read something like this today to help me understand why I feel like I do
This hits so hard. Beautifully and thoughtfully put. Thank you.
💯 it's total freedom. That's the paradox I too fought it and never expected the outcome to be freedom. I
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