What am I doing wrong?

[ol****]

I’m pretty sure it’s because people have so many options now and previous relationships leaving them exhausted.

If you’ve had constant relationship lasting 1 year and end after that, eventually you question why are you wasting so much time.

There are so many options, and society has seemly gone away from the traditional dynamic of having a relationship and only engaging in more intimate situations once that’s established.

Now you can quick easily have a one night stand, or even a no strings attached and it’s practically the norm - so why would you spend time, effort, and ***, on sustaining something you could quite easily get from someone else

There is no longer a stigma with these sort of behaviours, so it’s opened the gate where people are no longer seeing where things go, and those that have tried are just sick of it because people have lost the ability to be respectful and actually desire that close sort of bond.

At least, that seems to be the way things are- maybe others have different opinions on why this is happening, but certainly I can see the benefit of seeking only those arrangements instead of someone like a relationship

Personally I’m always open to new opportunities, if it develops into something more I won’t just leave because I want it to be a situationship or NSA.

[Ra****]

Try fetlife more real kink bdsm, less ONS fantasy people looking to explore

[Ch****]

Everyone seems so afraid of emotional available and transparency. I'm in the same boat as you and it's sad

[sardonicus87]

Have you tried attending munches, like in-person?
.
Lots of online dating has always sucked and it's only gotten worse. Regular attendance at a munch might give you better odds.

[Vl****]

its difficult on the DD side too, as others have said, too many looking for quick or one night

[th****]

I wouldn’t say all the daddy dominance are gone. It’s just these days. Some people say who they are and then their entirely something different. 

[Sw****]

1 hour ago, RachelRed said:

Try fetlife more real kink bdsm, less ONS fantasy people looking to explore

I came here from there, it’s nothing more than a platform for advertising your OF lol

[Sw****]

2 hours ago, Nshank13 said:

It’s tough for everyone out there. My best advice (and don’t take this too personally, I haven’t even looked at your profile…) is to get deliberate about building yourself into what the person you want wants.

What sort of lg would your dream DD want? Become that. And then advertise yourself as that.

It’s easy to step into the world and say “I want…”. But saying “I’m offering…” takes more work and more detached insight. But it’s worthwhile to put the effort into that aspect.

That’s terrible advice, no one should have to change themselves to be someones right person

[sardonicus87]

35 minutes ago, sardonicus87 said:

Have you tried attending munches, like in-person?
.
Lots of online dating has always sucked and it's only gotten worse. Regular attendance at a munch might give you better odds.

I also jusy want to emphasize the REGULAR ATTENDANCE part of that. Going once in a blue moon doesn't do any good. Don't just give up on in-person munches if you don't instantly meet someone within one or two of them.

[Mr****]

no, we're not all gone, some ppl are just ass hole and don't understand the lifestyle, but yes some are still hunting or like me, just shit luck on finding ppl,

[Ne****]

I'm agreeing with those who are saying it's not easy for us Dad's either. But dating is hard for anyone these days it seems.

[Ho****]

We in abundance in da hood. Lmfao. So it could simply be the mfs u pickin

[Jo****]

What's the old saying? You gotta kiss a lotta frogs to find your prince!

Keep your standards high, and your Daddy will rise to meet them!
(Your profile looks fine--you're perfectly adorable)

[Co****]

Fetlife isn’t that good honestly. If they made it into an app vs just a website maybe but it’s so difficult on the phone.

[sardonicus87]

25 minutes ago, CollarMeTina said:

Fetlife isn’t that good honestly. If they made it into an app vs just a website maybe but it’s so difficult on the phone.

FL does have an app, at least for Android (not sure about iOS), it's just not on the app store, you have to download it directly from their website.

[Co****]

1 hour ago, sardonicus87 said:

FL does have an app, at least for Android (not sure about iOS), it's just not on the app store, you have to download it directly from their website.

I got it :) ty

[sl****]

I'm right there with you honey I don't know what I'm doing wrong I've been looking for someone to talk to and I can't even get anything going with that someone please help me out and let me know what it is I need to do I'm new here I'm trying but I just don't get it seems like I and that's not someone's interest I'm about to give up on all aspect help

[Pa****]

The pool is shallow. Hold out for an irl person that suits you. So many wanna be doms / ddys, it's a tough call.

[Bu****]

We’re definitely not all gone!!!

[Co****]

4 hours ago, Panoptic said:

The pool is shallow. Hold out for an irl person that suits you. So many wanna be doms / ddys, it's a tough call.

For real

[en****]

I feel like there's really just NO good options out there for effectively looking for any kind of kink partner... every option that you mentioned trying has major downsides :c

[om****]

The whole situation in the time of apps and online dating has changed over the years to a kind of ebay or a bargain store where male and female character poker about the best price, for the lowest input. They want to get the trophy for less then nothing. They have never learned, what respect means, that relationship are build on trust and emotions. They try to get the fast fun to go and trample down on dozens of weaker guys and gals, who are then lost for the rest of us .

[Da****]

To tell you the truth it is not anything you're doing. The thing is the kink lifestyle has become so murky that it is hard to see things right in front of you. Seems like to me in my opinion is that the boundaries have become quite loose.

[Al****]

The thing you are doing that leads to this intensity is expecting it to be easy. Matching with someone is hard enough on its own, running matches through expectations filters...is reductive. You know this because you mentioned it with "picky". More and more men particularly want sex without demands and if you can't supply it, others will. They are not risk averse like women because 1 night does not mean 18 years in their minds. They operate with "hit it and quit it" mentality. Not all men, but many to most. You may need to lower that bar to eventually find matches, the other option is celibacy but I can't see that as a choice if rapid sex is an issue.

[Deleted Member]

Finding anyone who fits you is hard especially now when it comes to this lifestyle. What kind of DD do you want? What kind of dynamic? Do your interest match because thats a big one? So many different variables to consider.