sr**** Posted October 8 I think the best thing you can do is be there for him and remind him he isn’t alone to deal with the trauma he has…I have sexual trauma from my previous relationship and this new person in my life has helped me in so many ways!!…I took it upon myself to self to be more open and communicate with them:)…that’s how I been working on it and it’s helped :)…they aren’t pushy at all and they help me find new ways to deal with my sexual trauma:)…it’s all about if he really wants to put in the work n communication!:)…it’s hard really hard doing the work but the reward is so worth it!!!…things I wasn’t able to do in bed I’m able to slowly recover from it:)…time,patience,communication and both of u willing to help each other will work!!:)…hopefully this helps somehow!:)
Deleted Member Posted October 8 His issue was talking about it to you, now you looking at him differently. Guys should never share emotions with a female, they will never see them the same way. Guys are wires to feel sympathy for a female, but females will always judge it. Bottle it up brothers and deal with it yourself.
CoupleLooking4F918 Posted October 8 18 hours ago, SluttyMorrigan said: Not a guy, but a YEAR is a long time with apparently no progress. From the sounds of things he's probably NOT getting any Professional Help. There was 0 Mention of that AND Zero Mention of Progress! I imagine he is trying to Self Help and FAILING!! That he's AVOIDING, rather than Confronting AND Healing!! REMEMBER: 0 Mention of Progress, Therapy, Medication, OR Healing. An how long SHOULD she wait with 0 Results WITHOUT her Needs Met? 5 Years? Until he dies?? My wife has previous sexual traumas and we've been together almost 10 years and she still can't do everything I'd normally like in life in general. My point is asking online about your spouses traumas is always going to get two sides: the side who wants you to leave them cause that gives them an opportunity to slide in his/her place or B. The side that says seek counseling or therapy or whatever not knowing if that's even been considered before and potentially failed. For all she knows he IS making progress and it's just not in the area she's focusing on. My wife has made progress in areas that didn't effect me as much. Should I have left her after a year because she didn't progress in the areas I WANTED her to? Hell no that'd be ignorant or at the very least selfish.
Ze**** Posted October 9 15 hours ago, Jb1337 said: His issue was talking about it to you, now you looking at him differently. Guys should never share emotions with a female, they will never see them the same way. Guys are wires to feel sympathy for a female, but females will always judge it. Bottle it up brothers and deal with it yourself. I'm sorry if that's your experience Jb1337🫂 I feel very worried about other people reading your message because I think it's really counter-productive advice. Studies are clear that bottling up, isolation, loneliness, etc., are huge factors of depression, even su*c*de (also, due to socialization, women actually have higher empathy on average). It's therefore really important to build relationships of open communication and trust, which is in principle possible for everyone. For that, I highly recommend Marshall Rosenberg's book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life💚
BruiseWayne Posted October 9 20 hours ago, Jb1337 said: His issue was talking about it to you, now you looking at him differently. Guys should never share emotions with a female, they will never see them the same way. Guys are wires to feel sympathy for a female, but females will always judge it. Bottle it up brothers and deal with it yourself. This is absolutely f*ckin ridiculous. Women don't hold it against you when you show your emotions to them. Being emoitnally vulne.rable ( lord only knows why that word was censored ) in front of anyone takes a lot of guts and courage to do. It should be admired and rewarded, which frankly it usually is. If any of them hold it against you or think of you differently as a result it's not an inherent trait that's caused by them being a woman. It's because they're a shitty person and that has f*ck all to do with gender. 🙄 And BTW it's thinking like this that causes some women to react like that in the first place. So you're only making shit worse for yourself and every other guy out there by clinging to this tired worn out notion that was never true in the first place. Don't encourage men to bottle up their emotions. That's terrible advice. It only makes you feel repressed, angry, and bitter, and one way or the other it's going to come out. And it'll come out in some awful and toxic way if you go about living your life like this. Also calling women 'females' gives people the ick bro, you might wanna stop doing that lolol.
Ja**** Posted October 9 22 hours ago, Jb1337 said: His issue was talking about it to you, now you looking at him differently. Guys should never share emotions with a female, they will never see them the same way. Guys are wires to feel sympathy for a female, but females will always judge it. Bottle it up brothers and deal with it yourself. You’re literally suggesting men should not discuss their feelings with women. I can’t think of a Mental Health modality in existence that would condone this as healthy.
df**** Posted October 10 If it aint broke don’t fix it. If it is broke seek a solution but try not to make it worse by making it his problem. If you are truly with him, it’s your hurdle to get over together. Good luck.
Deleted Member Posted October 10 Author 11 hours ago, Zel_35 said: I'm sorry if that's your experience Jb1337🫂 I feel very worried about other people reading your message because I think it's really counter-productive advice. Studies are clear that bottling up, isolation, loneliness, etc., are huge factors of depression, even su*c*de (also, due to socialization, women actually have higher empathy on average). It's therefore really important to build relationships of open communication and trust, which is in principle possible for everyone. For that, I highly recommend Marshall Rosenberg's book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life💚 That’s a really really hard thing to talk about, it’s true that woman don’t usually show the same care and emotional intelligence to deal with those situations to trully help, often I have seen and found they take things personally as an attack or their own issues and change the way they see their partners.
Deleted Member Posted October 10 Author 8 hours ago, BruiseWayne said: This is absolutely f*ckin ridiculous. Women don't hold it against you when you show your emotions to them. Being emoitnally vulne.rable ( lord only knows why that word was censored ) in front of anyone takes a lot of guts and courage to do. It should be admired and rewarded, which frankly it usually is. If any of them hold it against you or think of you differently as a result it's not an inherent trait that's caused by them being a woman. It's because they're a shitty person and that has f*ck all to do with gender. 🙄 And BTW it's thinking like this that causes some women to react like that in the first place. So you're only making shit worse for yourself and every other guy out there by clinging to this tired worn out notion that was never true in the first place. Don't encourage men to bottle up their emotions. That's terrible advice. It only makes you feel repressed, angry, and bitter, and one way or the other it's going to come out. And it'll come out in some awful and toxic way if you go about living your life like this. Also calling women 'females' gives people the ick bro, you might wanna stop doing that lolol. I don’t think bottling things up is the answer, honesty and communication is. While being aware that is true that woman ser things very differently, process and also deal with things differently. Maybe is their Brian wiring that is different than js and also maybe because society the way they perceive it and love it it’s totally different
ce**** Posted October 10 Wednesday at 10:41 PM, Jb1337 said: His issue was talking about it to you, now you looking at him differently. Guys should never share emotions with a female, they will never see them the same way. Guys are wires to feel sympathy for a female, but females will always judge it. Bottle it up brothers and deal with it yourself. What a bs….
Kn**** Posted October 10 Honestly if this is a serious lack in your life and he refuses to do the work to resolve his past; this requires dedicated focus growth and discipline for anyone. Having experienced trauma not sexual but very dark, I’m here because I worked my a** off to grow. Anything less and the relationship isn’t worth it. Leave him. Go quietly into that kink night.
Sl**** Posted October 12 Wednesday at 10:59 PM, CoupleLooking4F918 said: My wife has previous sexual traumas and we've been together almost 10 years and she still can't do everything I'd normally like in life in general. My point is asking online about your spouses traumas is always going to get two sides: the side who wants you to leave them cause that gives them an opportunity to slide in his/her place or B. The side that says seek counseling or therapy or whatever not knowing if that's even been considered before and potentially failed. For all she knows he IS making progress and it's just not in the area she's focusing on. My wife has made progress in areas that didn't effect me as much. Should I have left her after a year because she didn't progress in the areas I WANTED her to? Hell no that'd be ignorant or at the very least selfish. Sure, and I admitted I could be wrong, but it's EQUALLY or even MORE likely he has just been trying WITHOUT Professional Help. That maybe he HAS gotten it, but has NOT been willing or able to dig very deep or otherwise do the work. But that's the thing, we don't know. An this is just someone they're dating. All while she has to suffer for some unknown period of time? With 0 apparent compromise? Like if they were Polyamorous sure, then she could get her needs met elsewhere.
pl**** Posted October 16 Good evening very interesting profile as funny just Aya not that my sex life before my accident was dead or boring, but it was OK. It wasn’t bad I guess but now I was in an accident. I’m a little it’s been almost about 14 months now it was a pretty bad accident on my recovered from it. I had a TBI and had some really bad issues but now I’m recovered. I’m walking. I can do everything but what I found is I have a whole different sexual appetite now it’s very before it was like OK yeah let’s go for it now. It’s just different more kinky or just different and of course a girlfriend is more of a vanilla pillow princess I guess and I never really bothered me much until after the accident and then I asked her you know we’ve been dating for three years and you’ve never touched me ever you’ve never initiated anything ever. You’ve never touched me. I’ve always touched you and pleasured you and orally. You’ve enjoyed it, but when it came to me nothing and she says well that’s just the way it goes and I said no that’s not how it’s gonna go and since then we pretty much separated and when we still live in the same house, but I live upstairs now and she lives downstairs and she works nights and I work days. We never see each other, which is good, but I’m saving my *** to move, but I don’t know I’m telling you that but I’m just saying it’s kind of the same situation in a way you got better I guess I mean the feeling got better but not that it actually has happened yet anyways I guess Kate you have a good night. Sorry this should probably have been a message and not a comment.
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