Being a dominant man means…..

[Ro****]

You can only be dominant within the right chemistry and energy with someone.

[po****]

When in doubt look to your sub for guidance. Communication, and trust build a lasting relationship no matter the dynamic.

A good dom gives their sub the freedom to be themselves without feeling judged. It can be hard for subs to express their wants and needs, so have open conversations, and do relationship check ups.

Being a Dom is way more than just the bedroom.

[Mr****]

Parables:

When you drive, do you drive with the persistent *** of your engine failing, or do you trust that your vehicle will support you as it always has? Do you seek to test your vehicle periodically, to ensure that all of its levels are maintained and that it is in perfect condition for the road ahead?

You are at the mercy of the vehicle in that instance; you are subservient to the operating conditions of the vehicle.

Be the vehicle.

All the same, the vehicle is at the mercy of the steering column, transmission control, and pedalwork.

Be the driver.

Yet still, the driver is again at the mercy of the rules of the road, and more importantly, of the en***r of those rules.

Be the very embodiment of order, the rule of law made flesh; be also the en***r of that law, kind yet stern, unyielding yet vigilant.

When you understand this, and it is not a simple "Cool, I got it", then you will understand one facet of Dominance (capitalization intentional).

How this looks in practice varies quite heavily. Some prefer to assert their position through clothing, through names, through asserted hierarchy. Some position themselves to look nearly invisible, or even to reflect the image in reverse, as that of a humble servant.

Dominance in action, though, is impossible to mistake and will always draw the eye. Dominance in action inspires other Dominants to stand—either in defiance or support, the stand will and must follow. Dominance in action will bring the submissive to kneel—either in obeisance or relent, the knee will and must bend.

You know what it is. Be that thing and doubt no further.

[BB****]

It's simple: you create your world and find those willing to live in it the way youve created it.

Every Dom is different.

[Ro****]

There is My Way or the Highway. ..

[Da****]

True dominance is wanting control to ensure things are done effectively, properly, in the best way. It's that simple.

Think about leaders. The ones who just tell people to do things or the ones who lead by example, who's the more stronger leader? Talk is cheap, it is always about action. Just as anyone can call themselves leaders, anyone can call themselves a Dom. By calling oneself it, doesn't make it so. People follow those they trust and believe in, not by words but by actions they have seen. Subs give submission naturally when a Dom takes care of their needs, makes them feel safe, and looks after them through Dominance, control, nurturing, safety.

Psychologically for what ever reasons, the people who are really Dominant which ofcourse excludes self-gratifying fake Dominants/those looking to *** others without actually being a proper or true Dom, seek control because maybe they lacked control in their past. I'm not quite sure. Or maybe they lacked control in life in general and saw flaws that they cannot do anything about. It's definitely deeply ingrained/deep part of someone's personality. Everyone's different, so if this question comes from a trying to figure your self out way, then it might be best to analyze yourself and better understand yourself. It is through self-discovery. Alternatively therapists can analyze you on a deep level as well.

An example of Dom mentality, (everyday scenario, not necessarily in a relationship), if you see things aren't being done in the best way, a Dom generally takes charge and has initiative naturally. They find a solution, they get it done or help someone get it done better, teaching them what the Dom knows or figured out. Even if they are a lower rank in the job. Or if someone needs protection or help, if they can help, they take charge and help. That is the Dom mentality.

With that said, there are different levels, different scenarios/events, and different partners that bring it out more or less.

True doms tend to balance empathy and control, ensuring subs are content and taken care of. Protecting subs and making them feel safe and happy is always on the mind. And as I said these aspects then cause the Sub to submit naturally.

As we Doms are the ones who provide the environment and aspects to our Subs, it is also important to understand the BDSM's 4 Core rules for Doms, the 4 Cs:
1. Consent
2. Control of Oneself/Self-Control
3. Control of one's environment/Safety and comfortability
4. Control of One's Sub for the sake of the Sub's own happiness, comfort, pleasure

[4l****]

DarklordDrakmore that was very well said and should be posted at the top for people to see… so many are misinformed on what true dominance is. This is awesome

[Mr****]

On 10/20/2025 at 8:32 AM, DarklordDrakmore said:

True dominance is wanting control to ensure things are done effectively, properly, in the best way. It's that simple.

Think about leaders. The ones who just tell people to do things or the ones who lead by example, who's the more stronger leader? Talk is cheap, it is always about action. Just as anyone can call themselves leaders, anyone can call themselves a Dom. By calling oneself it, doesn't make it so. People follow those they trust and believe in, not by words but by actions they have seen. Subs give submission naturally when a Dom takes care of their needs, makes them feel safe, and looks after them through Dominance, control, nurturing, safety.

Psychologically for what ever reasons, the people who are really Dominant which ofcourse excludes self-gratifying fake Dominants/those looking to *** others without actually being a proper or true Dom, seek control because maybe they lacked control in their past. I'm not quite sure. Or maybe they lacked control in life in general and saw flaws that they cannot do anything about. It's definitely deeply ingrained/deep part of someone's personality. Everyone's different, so if this question comes from a trying to figure your self out way, then it might be best to analyze yourself and better understand yourself. It is through self-discovery. Alternatively therapists can analyze you on a deep level as well.

An example of Dom mentality, (everyday scenario, not necessarily in a relationship), if you see things aren't being done in the best way, a Dom generally takes charge and has initiative naturally. They find a solution, they get it done or help someone get it done better, teaching them what the Dom knows or figured out. Even if they are a lower rank in the job. Or if someone needs protection or help, if they can help, they take charge and help. That is the Dom mentality.

With that said, there are different levels, different scenarios/events, and different partners that bring it out more or less.

True doms tend to balance empathy and control, ensuring subs are content and taken care of. Protecting subs and making them feel safe and happy is always on the mind. And as I said these aspects then cause the Sub to submit naturally.

As we Doms are the ones who provide the environment and aspects to our Subs, it is also important to understand the BDSM's 4 Core rules for Doms, the 4 Cs:
1. Consent
2. Control of Oneself/Self-Control
3. Control of one's environment/Safety and comfortability
4. Control of One's Sub for the sake of the Sub's own happiness, comfort, pleasure

I agree with @4loveofwomen  here, that was well said and illustrative. Rein***ment of the 4 Cs at the end was a very nice add.

[Do****]

Love the responses. I believe Being a dominant man means understanding that submission isn’t something you earn through effort like a reward.
It’s something that’s offered freely a living, breathing act of trust and it remains yours only so long as you’re worthy of holding it 💯

[Deleted Member]

A dominant man doesn’t chase control; he creates order. He leads with purpose, protects with conviction, and moves with intent. Everything else falls in line.

[sd****]

That is probably one of the most well written descriptions I’ve read lately. I actually saved that for future reference