Abandoned as a little and needing help..

[Tu****]

I’m sorry if the story seems abit strange or whatever, but I don’t know where else to ask for advise.
This breaks my heart to make this a thread and very hard to do. But bear with me please.

I’m turtle and I am a devoted little and sub of 20 or so years. I was abandoned about 2 months ago by my dom who I have been with for over 2 years, and I’m really struggling to come to terms with this. I’ve had relationships break down and end before, but this is really hard to move on from, and I really want to be happy again. I haven’t been the same since, I cry a lot, I just miss her so much. We had the most wonderful and sexually intense relationship, we never argued or disagreed and she was stern yet soft and bossy but rewarding. an incredible nurturing woman. But unfortunately been a single mum and full time work too it’s toll on her and she had to end our relationship.

I’m a very sensitive person in general, too tender to be a little, but my heart desires it so much it hurts. It’s been my identity that my heart wants and I’m scared I may never find a Dom that was as wonderful and caring as she was.

Is there away I can understand better what she is feeling, so I can understand the emotions that will help be to move forward? because I just txt her one morning about 10 weeks ago, to say I love her before she got to work as she like me to do, and she said I was amazing and she loved me too. Then that night before I called to say I was on my way (I was running late to greet her at her door this night also) and she just blocked me everywhere and I have not been able to contact her. The only way For closure was she actually texted my mother (they were close) to explain she can no longer me apart of my life.

Im devistated friends, what do I do? How do I move on and start again with my heart as a dedicated sub and little that I hold so dearly to myself? To restart all that work and what I sacrificed is hard to accept but it’s what I want so much.

Sorry for the long story. I’m at a loss now. I want to give up but I can’t and won’t.

[Tu****]

If you confused with my name, I was called turtle my doms name was yertle. 🥹😊 I have been a dom before in the past, so I understand from a male perspective on discussions about parting ways with my sub etc, this has just whacked me hard and left me rattled 😭🥺

[bl****]

I have found D/s relationship breakups cut much deeper. The trust and connection from BDSM play bonds.

No one can tell you how long to grieve for the loss of your relationship. But it does get better.

[wh****]

You need therapy bud.

[Mr****]

First, let me offer some reassurance. You are a sweet boy, and what it sounds like is that something happened which put your Domme in a position where she was no longer able to maintain what may have arisen as a conflicting standard in her own mind. The mind of a Dominant is a strange place, often full of rules and just as many doubts and concerns that we need to manage or disavow.

The fact that after that much time, she needed to sever without a second word says three things IMO. 1) She determined it absolutely necessary, and does not want to have even the slightest opportunity to regret her choice; 2) to speak to you in that state would break her and almost certainly cause her to back pedal in her decision, which may have deeper consequences for her and her own view of the world than she is willing to share with just about anyone, particularly as a parent; 3) she loves you dearly and is herself absolutely devastated by current decisions.

Take a deep breath. Respect the decision of your Domme. It hurts, a lot; but know that she did not hold you that near to her because you are incapable or weak but because she believed in you to be her Sub; and even now, I believe that she knows that you can persevere in this thing. Be true to yourself as a complete person, knowing that you have in your heart of hearts the model and standard for the sort of Domme you want. Settle for nothing less; respect, but do not acquiesce.

May you hold your head high knowing that you were trained to stand strong in this moment. Respect and honor the lessons from your Domme. Honor your memory of her and her autonomy. I believe in you.

[La****]

Hi. First of all, Im so sorry for your heartbreak. You dont need to seek closure. Her leaving is a closure enough. The healing journey from any type of intense, genuine, and devoted connection is never easy. Never. You basically gave a lot of or even most part of your soul to another person. So it would be very hard to recollect yourself back. But, it doesn’t mean that your worth as a person is ripped off completely. It is never the case. You just got lost for a moment. Trust me. You will find your happiness back. You will find someone again. What happened to you right now is you are in a position of denial phase, which is normal. Process your emotions, feel it. Be angry about it, cry about it, rant about it. Channel it thru productive and positive activities so
it would help to distract your mind. Healing is never linear. It is extremely hard and exhausting. But you will find your way again. Human is that resilient. And so are you. Youre still a worthy, complete human being, even right now youre broken into pieces. You will glue it all together soon. Good luck.

[po****]

Sometimes, it's tough. I've had close friends and people in my life I cared deeply about and loved leave my life, sometimes just as abruptly as you said.

It may not help much, but the best you can do is remember that you can't make someone do something, or keep them in your life, and hope that even if they love and miss you, they have to do what's right for their own future, and in her case, that of her kids as well. She's always love you, love doesn't just go away like that. But a mother's duty to her kids comes before her own love/lust/needs.

So, even if it hurts, be proud of her for trying to be the best mother she can be to her kids.

[sw****]

Never been in that situation as I am new to all this and not yet met somebody. But I do know about the shock of sudden abandonment. It sounds like you were blindsided. It is not fair for here to offer no closure or a soft landing - but she is likely acting in what she thinks is everybody’s best interests. It is hard and it sucks but It sounds like this is about acceptance and surrender as the path to healing, and you need to fight that battle alone or with your friends (courageous and smart to post it here).

When this has happened to me I found it helpful to take inventory of what I brought to the dynamic and try earn from it. You may never get you answer as to why she did this but you can focus on what is next and who am I now.

I was also told by a friend that it takes 1.5 x time to truly get over heartbreak and that seems true to me. But each week gets better and acceptance and surrender can accelerate that.

I hope that helps a little, we can feel your anguish, loss, and confusion. Sometime we have to create our own closure. Good luck.

[Pr****]

I’m so sorry to hear that.

My Dom disappeared on me just like that too, right after my birthday. I was heartbroken, wondering if I did something wrong or could’ve done anything differently. It was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced… after being so obedient and building habits around someone, suddenly there was nothing on the other side of my offerings.

I can’t fix your ***, but I can let you know you’re not alone. I hope my presence brings you even a little bit of ease.

[Pr****]

Just now, PrincessGodddess said:

I’m so sorry to hear that.

My Dom disappeared on me just like that too, right after my birthday. I was heartbroken, wondering if I did something wrong or could’ve done anything differently. It was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced… after being so obedient and building habits around someone, suddenly there was nothing on the other side of my offerings.

I can’t fix your ***, but I can let you know you’re not alone. I hope my presence brings you even a little bit of ease.

*** = p a i n

[Tu****]

11 minutes ago, MrDDS said:

First, let me offer some reassurance. You are a sweet boy, and what it sounds like is that something happened which put your Domme in a position where she was no longer able to maintain what may have arisen as a conflicting standard in her own mind. The mind of a Dominant is a strange place, often full of rules and just as many doubts and concerns that we need to manage or disavow.

The fact that after that much time, she needed to sever without a second word says three things IMO. 1) She determined it absolutely necessary, and does not want to have even the slightest opportunity to regret her choice; 2) to speak to you in that state would break her and almost certainly cause her to back pedal in her decision, which may have deeper consequences for her and her own view of the world than she is willing to share with just about anyone, particularly as a parent; 3) she loves you dearly and is herself absolutely devastated by current decisions.

Take a deep breath. Respect the decision of your Domme. It hurts, a lot; but know that she did not hold you that near to her because you are incapable or weak but because she believed in you to be her Sub; and even now, I believe that she knows that you can persevere in this thing. Be true to yourself as a complete person, knowing that you have in your heart of hearts the model and standard for the sort of Domme you want. Settle for nothing less; respect, but do not acquiesce.

May you hold your head high knowing that you were trained to stand strong in this moment. Respect and honor the lessons from your Domme. Honor your memory of her and her autonomy. I believe in you.

That makes a lot of sense in where you said she would back pedal or regret. That kind of sooths the situation a lot. I didn’t think about those choices you mentioned as I’ve been so lost in the whys and what did I dos, I forgot to consider my mistress and her feelings, been as strong and wonderful as she was, maybe subconsciously I assumed she was ok. Something for me to consider now I appreciate the reply

[Tu****]

12 minutes ago, Lady_King said:

Hi. First of all, Im so sorry for your heartbreak. You dont need to seek closure. Her leaving is a closure enough. The healing journey from any type of intense, genuine, and devoted connection is never easy. Never. You basically gave a lot of or even most part of your soul to another person. So it would be very hard to recollect yourself back. But, it doesn’t mean that your worth as a person is ripped off completely. It is never the case. You just got lost for a moment. Trust me. You will find your happiness back. You will find someone again. What happened to you right now is you are in a position of denial phase, which is normal. Process your emotions, feel it. Be angry about it, cry about it, rant about it. Channel it thru productive and positive activities so
it would help to distract your mind. Healing is never linear. It is extremely hard and exhausting. But you will find your way again. Human is that resilient. And so are you. Youre still a worthy, complete human being, even right now youre broken into pieces. You will glue it all together soon. Good luck.

Thankyou for your kind words. I did give everything and really believed it was forever. And I am a very sensitive person by nature so it helps to see it from her perspective. And helps me to know it wasn’t in vein.

[Pr****]

I’m so sorry to hear that.

My Dom disappeared on me just like that too, right after my birthday. I was heartbroken, wondering if I did something wrong or could’ve done anything differently. It was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced… after being so obedient and building habits around someone, suddenly there was nothing on the other side of my offerings.

I can’t fix your p a i n, but I can let you know you’re not alone. I hope my presence brings you even a little bit of ease.

[Tu****]

13 minutes ago, PrincessGodddess said:

I’m so sorry to hear that.

My Dom disappeared on me just like that too, right after my birthday. I was heartbroken, wondering if I did something wrong or could’ve done anything differently. It was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced… after being so obedient and building habits around someone, suddenly there was nothing on the other side of my offerings.

I can’t fix your p a i n, but I can let you know you’re not alone. I hope my presence brings you even a little bit of ease.

It does thankyou. And yes it’s the sudden stopping of everything I worked for to please my mistress. It left like an empty void inside me. And your presence does bring me ease. Everyone has been so kind

[Tu****]

It’s 330 here at least I’ll sleep tonight and not be as stressed. I have some things to think about now.

[Tu****]

Thankyou guys.

[Mr****]

34 minutes ago, TurtleDomYertle said:

That makes a lot of sense in where you said she would back pedal or regret. That kind of sooths the situation a lot. I didn’t think about those choices you mentioned as I’ve been so lost in the whys and what did I dos, I forgot to consider my mistress and her feelings, been as strong and wonderful as she was, maybe subconsciously I assumed she was ok. Something for me to consider now I appreciate the reply

It's very easy to be in that place. What a Dominant exists to do IMO is to be the beacon on the hill for those in need of that light in the darkness. Sex is utterly irrelevant for this. You were in need; Dominants respond. You are also willing to reconsider positions you had not previously considered before, so I believe that you were a wonderful Sub. It is easy to leave someone when you no longer love them; it is a dark *** to leave someone when you very much still do.

Head high, friend.

[Tu****]

6 minutes ago, MrDDS said:

It's very easy to be in that place. What a Dominant exists to do IMO is to be the beacon on the hill for those in need of that light in the darkness. Sex is utterly irrelevant for this. You were in need; Dominants respond. You are also willing to reconsider positions you had not previously considered before, so I believe that you were a wonderful Sub. It is easy to leave someone when you no longer love them; it is a dark *** to leave someone when you very much still do.

Head high, friend.

Sex was utterly irrelevant in the end. It was what we both wanted but I think her desires may of been changing and to not cause extreme discomfort and heartache for me, she chose an option she thought would kind of guide me on so to speak. Like a final silent request if you will. Because I don’t want to stop been this person for someone, and she knew me as a person. So I guess it’s the o oh way it could have really happened! 🥹😭 this makes the most sense of all. My gods it’s 4am and I go to work soon, no sleep. But I’m glad I asked the question now. May the healing begin. 🥰 thankyou truly

[ra****]

I think there’s a natural grieving process we all go through when things end, especially when the issues involved circumstances that existed outside of the dynamic.

2 years isn’t a drop in the bucket, so give yourself some grace when it comes to needing some time and support to get through the most ***ful part of having to let go of someone you care about ❤️

[Pr****]

3 hours ago, MrDDS said:

First, let me offer some reassurance. You are a sweet boy, and what it sounds like is that something happened which put your Domme in a position where she was no longer able to maintain what may have arisen as a conflicting standard in her own mind. The mind of a Dominant is a strange place, often full of rules and just as many doubts and concerns that we need to manage or disavow.

The fact that after that much time, she needed to sever without a second word says three things IMO. 1) She determined it absolutely necessary, and does not want to have even the slightest opportunity to regret her choice; 2) to speak to you in that state would break her and almost certainly cause her to back pedal in her decision, which may have deeper consequences for her and her own view of the world than she is willing to share with just about anyone, particularly as a parent; 3) she loves you dearly and is herself absolutely devastated by current decisions.

Take a deep breath. Respect the decision of your Domme. It hurts, a lot; but know that she did not hold you that near to her because you are incapable or weak but because she believed in you to be her Sub; and even now, I believe that she knows that you can persevere in this thing. Be true to yourself as a complete person, knowing that you have in your heart of hearts the model and standard for the sort of Domme you want. Settle for nothing less; respect, but do not acquiesce.

May you hold your head high knowing that you were trained to stand strong in this moment. Respect and honor the lessons from your Domme. Honor your memory of her and her autonomy. I believe in you.

Thank you, I definitely needed this to help my own circumstances 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[Laycette]

Hi there.
Yes I have been through similar.
I cried every night for about a year, I dudn't understand it. I think some people think that somehow making a sudden hard break is cleaner and easier but it actually does a lot of damage and causes more hurt. However in these cases providing closure and healing is down to ourselves and is a decision you make. And you will be ok in time.
Hugs and love.

[tw****]

4 hours ago, MrDDS said:

First, let me offer some reassurance. You are a sweet boy, and what it sounds like is that something happened which put your Domme in a position where she was no longer able to maintain what may have arisen as a conflicting standard in her own mind. The mind of a Dominant is a strange place, often full of rules and just as many doubts and concerns that we need to manage or disavow.

The fact that after that much time, she needed to sever without a second word says three things IMO. 1) She determined it absolutely necessary, and does not want to have even the slightest opportunity to regret her choice; 2) to speak to you in that state would break her and almost certainly cause her to back pedal in her decision, which may have deeper consequences for her and her own view of the world than she is willing to share with just about anyone, particularly as a parent; 3) she loves you dearly and is herself absolutely devastated by current decisions.

Take a deep breath. Respect the decision of your Domme. It hurts, a lot; but know that she did not hold you that near to her because you are incapable or weak but because she believed in you to be her Sub; and even now, I believe that she knows that you can persevere in this thing. Be true to yourself as a complete person, knowing that you have in your heart of hearts the model and standard for the sort of Domme you want. Settle for nothing less; respect, but do not acquiesce.

May you hold your head high knowing that you were trained to stand strong in this moment. Respect and honor the lessons from your Domme. Honor your memory of her and her autonomy. I believe in you.

That was an amazing response.

[Sa****]

6 hours ago, MrDDS said:

First, let me offer some reassurance. You are a sweet boy, and what it sounds like is that something happened which put your Domme in a position where she was no longer able to maintain what may have arisen as a conflicting standard in her own mind. The mind of a Dominant is a strange place, often full of rules and just as many doubts and concerns that we need to manage or disavow.

The fact that after that much time, she needed to sever without a second word says three things IMO. 1) She determined it absolutely necessary, and does not want to have even the slightest opportunity to regret her choice; 2) to speak to you in that state would break her and almost certainly cause her to back pedal in her decision, which may have deeper consequences for her and her own view of the world than she is willing to share with just about anyone, particularly as a parent; 3) she loves you dearly and is herself absolutely devastated by current decisions.

Take a deep breath. Respect the decision of your Domme. It hurts, a lot; but know that she did not hold you that near to her because you are incapable or weak but because she believed in you to be her Sub; and even now, I believe that she knows that you can persevere in this thing. Be true to yourself as a complete person, knowing that you have in your heart of hearts the model and standard for the sort of Domme you want. Settle for nothing less; respect, but do not acquiesce.

May you hold your head high knowing that you were trained to stand strong in this moment. Respect and honor the lessons from your Domme. Honor your memory of her and her autonomy. I believe in you.

Profound and beautifully stated

[th****]

That username has Some connotations

[We****]

I was in the opposite situation. I was a much older Dom with a young beautiful sub. She was my Sun and Moon. We loved each other deeply but I could never give her what she deserved. I knew our time would be limited but the ties of Dd/lg and bdsm exceed normal loving relationships. And after 6 years of devotion, she grew out of us and ended it severely and abruptly. I think now that she a) didn’t think we could part slowly or she’d doubt her decision or b) I’d try to change her mind (and I probably would) and c) she needed it to be quick so she could move on like she needed. I’ll be honest, it was the most emotionally ***ful thing ever and it still haunts me some. You will heal but I won’t lie, it will be slow. The ache will come in waves and hit you in the worst times. You live, you keep moving and someday it doesn’t kill you like it did. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and I’m sorry. No one deserves it. Even if it’s what was best for her.