Abandoned as a little and needing help..

[Tu****]

6 hours ago, WestTXGent said:

I was in the opposite situation. I was a much older Dom with a young beautiful sub. She was my Sun and Moon. We loved each other deeply but I could never give her what she deserved. I knew our time would be limited but the ties of Dd/lg and bdsm exceed normal loving relationships. And after 6 years of devotion, she grew out of us and ended it severely and abruptly. I think now that she a) didn’t think we could part slowly or she’d doubt her decision or b) I’d try to change her mind (and I probably would) and c) she needed it to be quick so she could move on like she needed. I’ll be honest, it was the most emotionally ***ful thing ever and it still haunts me some. You will heal but I won’t lie, it will be slow. The ache will come in waves and hit you in the worst times. You live, you keep moving and someday it doesn’t kill you like it did. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and I’m sorry. No one deserves it. Even if it’s what was best for her.

Yes the h u r t is immense. I wish nothing but the best for her and her son. I just wish even a weeks notice. It would have been ok as I am fine with accepting people’s decisions feelings as valid always. Cause that’s what they are. Their feelings. And are never ever wrong, and I won’t tell someone their feelings are wrong either.

[uy****]

You got used and were too naive to see what was happening. Get therapy

[Tu****]

8 minutes ago, uyscuti2 said:

You got used and were too naive to see what was happening. Get therapy

Not naive, this person was a close person 5 years before we even began a journey. She helped me leave an 8 year abusive relationship. So why can’t I ask like minded people who have compassion and empathy, as a pose to a doctor with zero attachment or understanding and goes by a text book? Are you saying I’m not allowed to have feelings? Cause last time I checked. My feelings were mine not yours. Maybe instead of me getting therapy, you get lost and learn to show empathy for others. We all can’t be ignorant and heartless, stale, know it alls like yourself now can we? Don’t reply to me I don’t talk to you anymore.

[In****]

Hey it’s normal I guess bec I had a guys hole family treating me like shit while he lied and prob fucked more things than I can imagine bec co he broke honesty and respect and loyalty first then him and his mom lied about it . I had no clue half the time but I lost everything bec he changed his mind but after I lost everything and he had help bec everyone really thought it was funny to make me believe horrible shit now I’m almost homeless bec I believe in the wrong ppl or they just really believe anyone other than me bec I used my stuff and *** for others all the time now I have nothing but both the guys I dated have wives and imagine every single person they know is just doing 100 better then me bec they don’t give a shit and I don’t have what they have so homeless w no car or job or *** or anything but they even threaten to take my dogs bec he’s never been honest and now I’m pretty f stuck

[pi****]

From the kinksters I know, I was under the impression that it was considered irresponsible and unethical to break a bond in this way without psychological harm. As you describe, being close to your Mum and in your life as a friend for some time this feels all the more harsh. Like abandonment.

That being said I can also understand and agree that everyone can be overwhelmed by multiple life responsibilities and lose the capacity to communicate effectively and make decisions on course of action effectively.

As others have said, it may be that she saw strength in you and perhaps felt that this was the best way for all.

For me personally it’s the worst way, especially with a longer standing bond.

Tables turned I would have been inclined to record a voice message, write a proper letter, phone call, something more if I couldn’t do it in person and if it could t be a conversation I’d make a plan to discuss at a later date.

If the connection was good and it was overwhelm then I feel like affirming the positives, giving you confidence in your own strength and explaining the impact of other life responsibilities etc would have gone a long way.

As someone worry ADHD, OCD and trauma, shit cuts deep and in have such intrusive thoughts and my mind will attempt problem solving and loop round every possibility to understand for eternity.

So you have every reason to feel broken and I do empathize with both sides, I’ve been through some awful break-ups with various dynamics so I believe that you do have the strength to get through this, just try to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve and try every healthy soothing activity you can 💗🧠

[Tu****]

42 minutes ago, pillow_queen said:

From the kinksters I know, I was under the impression that it was considered irresponsible and unethical to break a bond in this way without psychological harm. As you describe, being close to your Mum and in your life as a friend for some time this feels all the more harsh. Like abandonment.

That being said I can also understand and agree that everyone can be overwhelmed by multiple life responsibilities and lose the capacity to communicate effectively and make decisions on course of action effectively.

As others have said, it may be that she saw strength in you and perhaps felt that this was the best way for all.

For me personally it’s the worst way, especially with a longer standing bond.

Tables turned I would have been inclined to record a voice message, write a proper letter, phone call, something more if I couldn’t do it in person and if it could t be a conversation I’d make a plan to discuss at a later date.

If the connection was good and it was overwhelm then I feel like affirming the positives, giving you confidence in your own strength and explaining the impact of other life responsibilities etc would have gone a long way.

As someone worry ADHD, OCD and trauma, shit cuts deep and in have such intrusive thoughts and my mind will attempt problem solving and loop round every possibility to understand for eternity.

So you have every reason to feel broken and I do empathize with both sides, I’ve been through some awful break-ups with various dynamics so I believe that you do have the strength to get through this, just try to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve and try every healthy soothing activity you can 💗🧠

You’re exactly right, I also have adhd and hyper fixation. So heart ache and such really destroys my ability to see clearly. It’s been 12 weeks now and I’m back to my old self again, I never lost my compassion and empathy, or my trust in people. Loving myself first and foremost and not losing faith in the fact that there are good people out there, some just make decisions without the thought of others feelings and emotions. I felt it help me mature as a master also, giving me greater empathy and the urge to want to be kinder, more loving and caring and respectful of subs. The beauty of been a sub and a master, is the view from both sides.