Lust or Love - what came first?

[pl****]

Out of your successful relationships, what came first lust, friendship, love or maybe just connection ( need to explain connection if you chose it)

[Deleted Member]

My most successful one is "Lust turned Love": we met on a hookup site (meetme) and were just fucking around. Both of us sleeping with other people, being open without realizing it. 🤣🤣 Turned into an monogamous relationship after a few months, looking to open back up now, still working on triggers and comfort, but it's been a blasty blast.

[Ka****]

I think this is a multifaceted question. I personally have never dated my friends before but I think it's important to date people you could be friends with. If you can't stand them otherwise it's doomed to fail eventually. I think lust is what brings a person in, makes you interested in them. You then form connections by acts of physical and emotional intimacy, and communication. Leading to love eventually. So in short lust.

[Bi****]

Lust - we met here just for a pick up, now we’re married and got two kids.

[BB****]

Well consider that I'm in a poly with 2 guys the first one was just supposed to be a FWB and overtime became more and the second one it was just an awesome connection

[PrinceCruel]

Check the 3 As and 3 Ls rules.
Admiration-Attraction-adoration and Lust-Labour-loyalty as the main drivers for working relationships. You need all 3 even just to start.

[Az****]

I only date my friends. If I wouldn’t be close friends with you I’d never date you. And I have physical relationships with some of my friends. It’s just one way to get closer. I have two partners of over ten and twenty years so I’m doing something right. I know it’s not typical But I’m autistic so that’s just how it works for me. .

[Deleted Member]

Lust built on her calling me but on my BS and turned i to a 25 yr love story.

[JackJonesHull]

In pretty much every case it's been friendship first, which has led to innocent flirting then inevitable lust. Love has come later. Although as friends love was there all along I suppose. Connection takes time like love does.

[Os****]

Lust. Had a f*ck buddy right after high school, it was fun but I knew I didn't love her. She wanted more, but I couldn't, so we went our separate ways. 3 years later, I would be in the longest relationship with someone who I genuinely loved.

[Ma****]

Depends on what are referring to as a relationship. In the D/s BDSM community it has been 50-50 with sometimes being lust and just heat between two people and others it has been built through friendship and casual vanilla connection.

[Deleted Member]

Hilarious to think I've had Any *successful* relationships. How does one even truly determine such a thing, after things like ab*se and great toxicity are 'removed' from the equation - what dows success mean and isn't it subjective at some point?
I believe it's always lust and or some other desire that sparks first, and that love is a choice and a thing to be nurtured and fed.
One can experience feelings of what they perceive as love, first, before experiencing abd or desiring sexually, lustily, not debating that, but, it would seem the very nature of human beings wholly dictate that it's lust first... annoying, isn't it?

[Ri****]

All my best relationships started as friends then friends with benefits

[Stubbed_my_damn_toe]

Always friends to lovers to kinksters. I have to know a person to let them sit on me lol

[kinkymasterandrew]

Lust usually comes first because it's easiest to feel, friendship and love take more familiarity.

[Id****]

Lust is always the first step for me.

[pl****]

Lust

[sm****]

Friendship first, these are the relationships that i have kept good "friends" relationships with after the relationship ended.  It builds a far better base than lust, which can sour very quickly.  

 

[m3****]

Ignore me I’m testing to see if I’m allowed to comment on posts

[FE****]

2 hours ago, m3ssage_m3_f1rst said:

Ignore me I’m testing to see if I’m allowed to comment on posts

Duly ignored :-)

BTW, ALL posts and comments in the kink academy need prior approval.  So you may not see your comment initially.

[vi****]

The realest relationship I think I ever had was with a girl who had a boyfriend at the time and we slept together the first night. The thing that was cool about it was there was no expectation and because of the circumstances we were as honest as we could possibly be and because of that there was almost no jealousy and what little there was we made a game of trying to bring it out and even make fun of each other for letting it bother us. I know it’s dysfunctional but name a relationship that isn’t.

[ke****]

Lust. Definitely has to be lust.

[Be****]

Lust for sure. He was just supposed to be some good D. Here we are 17 years later. Still good D

[co****]

Friendship, then love, then lust

[Kd****]

Connection