How might a younger person integrate into the kink world?

[Deleted Member]

How to i go about integrating into this community and still continue to fit in as a young persons in such an.....im gonna say mature place? How do i integrate well. Obviously im a little less developed than most, what would you say from a wiser standpoint i need a little wisdom.

[John31]

You're over thinking this. Just talk to people like they're people.

[typhoon2]

The first priority is to attend munches. So is the second. And the third. These provide useful sources of information and opinion on local activity and the wider kink scene. You also get your face known, so other guests can recommend you or other wise vouch for you, and you'rell be known as a real person rather than an online profile.

Munches come in many flavours. Some are specifically for the younger generation - under 35 is most common. Then there are specific interest munches such as FemDom, Metal Music, Boardgames or whatever. These latter might be less intimidating and have more in common with your own interests.

[Ma****]

Good on you for asking. Lurk these forums, read past threads as a lot of contemporary information gets shared in conjuction with people's experiences. A lot of the learning is also about what *not* to do and many people have made a poor example of themselves here, though the mods seem to sanitise this place frequently. Sometimes making a public example out of someone discourages discussion but at the same time enables us as a community to be accountable to ourselves and each other. I'm sure people will share a bunch of literature and such. Just do the reading, and eventually something will click for you and hopefully someone else too.

[Du****]

You’re allowed to be a beginner. Plenty of people on here are much older but still new to the scene. Take part in forum discussions, read what others have to say, pay attention to the way they conduct themselves. You’ll soon recognise people you identify with, and others you’ll prefer to avoid. And never forget your manners.

[Br****]

Munches are the way to go! They're low pressure social events where you can connect with your community. Also, if you're looking to dive into the knowledge end of the life, check out OhioSMART. They often host educational sessions and special interests/association gatherings.

[ch****]

Educate yourself and not just about sex but the body the mind technique the right and wrong way. The part they don’t tell you is there is w lot of trust in this kind of thing. And one little slop at times can hurt someone very badly. So please please educate yourself.

[Sh****]

Dont think of it as trying to fit in. Be honest on your profile about your experience and interact how you would in any other dating app.

Think of it in a different font. Instead of seeing it all as kink, imagine starting a new job or starting your first year of college. You cant make people like you off the rip, you just gotta do your thing and you will find your way over time.

Just remember to be honest, genuine, and safe. If a situation feels wrong, listen to it.

[El****]

I’d say be patient. You’re in a world where the odds are very much against you.
If you’re looking to meet someone and develop a relationship odds are that’s not going to happen.
But I do recommend learning, not just the lifestyle but yourself.
Like you said you’re younger. You’re still trying to figure out exactly what works for you.
Don’t rush it. Let the journey take you where it wants to go.
But remember. You’re severely outnumbered. And most are posers.
Be yourself, be honest, and learn.

[Pr****]

Patience, conversation, and good vetting techniques set you up for success and growth. My sub has a significant age gap with me but she chose me from those factors because she realized I was safe. It became an extremely healthy lifestyle dynamic. This realm of existence is what you make of it. But, those core principles will be utilized even with substantial experience. In my own paths experience is where those things were learned before anyone ever gave me advice.

[In****]

If a profile has a bio read it. Be polite and respectful. Don't send unsolicited 🍆 pics!
I personally hate when a conversation goes to s*x straight away.
I saw your in Cambridge I know there are munches there from when I used to live there. If you're good at social stuff they are good for getting to know the scene and what people are into. Theres also a few clubs around the area too.

[ph****]

I would say just be yourself. Talk with others and develop your personality as you discover who you are becoming. Don't rush. Nobody ever gets things right 1st time around. Talk with both sides of the coin. I've found doms and subs willing to shed light on the lifestyle and be helpful with broadening my understanding of this world. Growth is a collaborative effort be receptive to input and do your best to be the type of human that you can be proud of.

[pl****]

Talk to people, make connections, ask questions, go to events, read, experiment. It’s daunting at first but the process of discovering yourself becomes quite liberating.

[sp****]

Be yourself. Stay true to what you believe and don’t view this place as an obstacle

[Do****]

First things first. Always treat people with respect and not as objects when massaging. Don't try an rush into things, or be pushy. Good communication is key. Also have fun.

[ki****]

Me too bro me too

[8I****]

Always remember that you are definitely new and inexperienced. And be prepared to be taken on a wild ride if and when a mommy domme decides to take you under their wing. IMO it might be the best way to learn my dear. I would honestly look into some local events “munches” is what they are called and see if you can attend those. Get comfortable being in the environment. But finding someone I.e. a GOOD and well versed mommy domme for example maybe a soft mommy domme (not me, I’m not soft lol sadly) or attending a munch or two would be your best bet.

[8I****]

A lot of folx that have been in this community groan when we see a noob because no one wants to really take the responsibility of training up a new one…however there is a community of folx who do get off on that. It’s really about getting your feet wet and finding your tribe.

[SS****]

Lemme know what you hear

[ja****]

Go to a munch. Find someone a little older in the same position you want to be and ask them questions.

[wi****]

Looking for an answer to this as well.

[wo****]

Find a mentor(s). Someone willing to give you advice and guidance if you can.

[La****]

You can try to find some TNG (The next generation) meetups/munches. Usually they are for younger folks. Or even some munches that are for everyone. The only way to gain experience and wisdom is to get out there and do the thing. New things are always a little scary to start

[my****]

Read twice as much as you respond. Process the information and the comments. Know you don’t know much at this point and that’s okay. It will come.

[Wo****]

It depends are what you are. Im a sub and was interduced to it when I was 14. Its hard not to change your aparance and stuff once you find something you really like. You would understand more of the jocks that are out there and people might look at you like your crazy for laphing at something they might find is funny. I lurned from a Dom. See if you can find a dome to lurn from either it be you wanting to be a dom or a sub.

Im sorry for any misspelling.