Older Dom's & Younger Subs

[Ge****]

Hello. I just want people's opinions on a question I was asked earlier today. Question being. "Why are there alot more younger Sub females with much older Dom's?" They were Not just referring to DdLg relationships but in general. My answer was and please don't shoot me down here. " I speak from experience hear. The younger Subs like the fact we're experienced, we are more settled in career and financially maybe shown more respect, we're more trusting, have alot more life experience, I say these things as my last Sub Female was 27. Those were the traits she said to me. Be interesting to know others thoughts.

[un****]

i personally am young however i’ve spoken to older doms part of it comes from exactly what you said and the other part and this is backed by research is men don’t hit their “peak” when women do we hit our peak in our 30’s and 40’s because of those aforementioned factors

[un****]

4 minutes ago, undeaddom said:

i personally am young however i’ve spoken to older doms part of it comes from exactly what you said and the other part and this is backed by research is men don’t hit their “peak” when women do we hit our peak in our 30’s and 40’s because of those aforementioned factors

i will say i’ve found one exception to this older women not all older women but some seem to have a particular affinity shall we say towards younger men

[Ar****]

Are there? Or is it just that such types tend to be more prolific/visible within the community? I'm not saying it isn't the case, I'm just throwing out an alternative theory. If anybody has some verifiable stats I'd be interested to see them.

[fatmanDom]

id say in my opinion a lot of those younger subs are firstly going for younger Doms who may not yet know how to own their own shit so end up getting taken advantage of (and i am generalising, i know many younger Dom's who are able to own their stuff). there is also the part that a lot of young subs may be seeking to deal with daddy issues from childhood and obviously thus seek older Dom's., i know i have been aproached by a *** sub who told me i resembled her uncle and he was the only person in her life that had been nice to her and she had, had a crush on him and thus had trust towards me because i simply was the idea of her childhood niceness.

[CopperKnob]

I wonder where thd person asking the Q formed their perspective, was it online? If so, is it possible that younger females are likely posting more frequently on social media's than older ones/males?
I also wouldn't say it's necessarily true that we're more settled in terms of career, I've had 4 job changes in 4yrs with a possible 5th one in a couple of months if I apply, all new roles, new locations although all promotions but I've not really had chance to settle anywhere. Financially , I earn more than I did 10yrs ago but I have less disposable *** because, economy.
And just to play devils advocate, are we suggesting that the same is not true of male subs? That male subs are with younger Dommes for the same reasons as you've suggested eg that all females regardless of what side of the slash they are look for an older male partner which is then gendered or, are we suggesting that is a D/s thing where a sub will always look for an older Dtype?
Or, more realistically (IMO) it's nothing more than "I like you, lets date" regardless of gender/role/age?

[Ge****]

CopperKnob. Your question is answered in the very first line of my thread. I also say it's only what I've learned by talking to other Dom's. You wouldn't say men aged 42 to 55 are more settled in their jobs than men aged 23 to 36. To have 4 job changes in 4 years is not the norm of men aged between 42 to 55.. however thank you for your comment.

[CopperKnob]

I don't believe it was, I asked how the questioner formed their hypothesis that there are more younger subs with older Dom's than vice versa to ask you their question in the first place.
In relation to job changes against age groups, I'd go with data pulled from research than guestimates. All I'm saying is in my younger years, I had the same jobs for a number of years, that's changed as I've aged due to education/opportunity/economy/changing job market etc. What was true once upon a time isn't necessarily the case now particularly in the UK following Brexit/COVID

[se****]

First, everybody has their own flavors. In my opinion after reading, and listening from relationship experts (years), it's a general thing with older men and younger women. The media has big influences as well. What alot of people don't know, alot of them has unspoken contracts, so it's not necessarily love as they show to the world.

[Per-seus]

that explains why i always go for older doms lol

[ey****]

some of my comments are more tongue in cheek than others

there are factors which exists where younger subs like the experience, but even if it's not the DDlg they may see and older Dominant as, not necessarily a father figure, but might remind of an older school teacher.   Some may even find it humiliating submitting to someone older.

But on the flip a little is why are older Dominants chasing after young women and not looking at people their own age?   And, in some cases, this can be predatory (looking for someone who is new/naive) while in others it may be coincidental but then it must be awkward for a younger sub when she realises she is going to be replaced when she gets older.    Though, for some, perhaps that is the desire that they then know it's only going to be a short-term relationship.

There is also that the community often gaslights young sub girls - usually by turning them against men their age.  The whole concept of "you can't be a Dominant if you're 18, 21, 25, so on" and this sometimes makes them believe this to be true.  So end up with a 50 year old with 2 years experience instead of a 25 year old with 5.

This said - there is a question on how common this actually is - and our own bubbles may distort this.   Certainly I'm aware of older Dominants who only ever seem to be trading one 23 year old for the next - but I'm also aware of many, of all ages, with people closer to their own age. 

[UK****]

20 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

I wonder where thd person asking the Q formed their perspective, was it online? If so, is it possible that younger females are likely posting more frequently on social media's than older ones/males?

The distribution question got me wondering how the ages fall on here.  So I did a search for women within 100km of me and these are the percentage breakdown of those 615  (that have been active within the last 30 days):

Age Group      count   percentage

Under 20        54         8.8

20s                250      40.7

30s               170       27.6

40s                 99       16.1

50s                 34         5.5

60+                  8          1.3 (two profiles were clearly by looking not in this age group, one listed as 99)

A shocking other stat, there were a further 778 profiles that had not been active in that time, many for much longer, although by the look of it, the site stops showing profiles in searches if they are inactive for over 180 days.

Makes you wonder why they stop being active are they scared off or find what they are looking for and no longer need the profile?

Now someone needs to so a similar study by male profiles.  I would but I lost the will to live somewhere around half way through the above but I'm stubborn and was determined to finish it.

Edited February 7, 2023 by UK_Knight
adjusted a total

[CopperKnob]

@sitonmyfacepls916 see someone did help me with the maths, on a kink site!! 🤷‍♀️🤣😂

@UK_Knight perfect timing but I think you have far too much time on your hands 😂
The stats don't lie but also, don't surprise me much

[UK****]

6 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

@sitonmyfacepls916 see someone did help me with the maths, on a kink site!! 🤷‍♀️🤣😂
 

I'm sure many a dom has made you count CK and helped when you 'forgot'!

[CopperKnob]

12 minutes ago, UK_Knight said:

I'm sure many a dom has made you count CK and helped when you 'forgot'!

"Helped"? I think they made it harder and that wasn't helpful at all

[lu****]

I have to agree with what you’re 27 yr old sub said . I’ve always been more attracted to older men and subbed mostly for older men. I’m 37 now and even some of the Doms my age don’t show or have the experience or emotional maturity?? Maybe maturity isn’t the right word , they aren’t showing they can be responsible enough for my needs I guess is what I’m saying or they are just starting into the kink now and that’s not what I’m looking for. Now I am a bit of a switch and so I will look to younger switch or sub if that’s what I’m looking for but I always choose older Doms .

[Ge****]

42 minutes ago, luvbuzzloo said:

I have to agree with what you’re 27 yr old sub said . I’ve always been more attracted to older men and subbed mostly for older men. I’m 37 now and even some of the Doms my age don’t show or have the experience or emotional maturity?? Maybe maturity isn’t the right word , they aren’t showing they can be responsible enough for my needs I guess is what I’m saying or they are just starting into the kink now and that’s not what I’m looking for. Now I am a bit of a switch and so I will look to younger switch or sub if that’s what I’m looking for but I always choose older Doms .

Thank you

[Deleted Member]

I can only speak for myself of course and I am still pretty new to this. My Dom is in fact quite a bit older and he is my only Dom so far. When we met I had been with a few older men before, but most of the guys I dated were guys my own age. I guess the appeal to me was a combination of things. He is quite experienced, knows what he wants and knows what he does. One the one hand that gave him a certain confidence that I guess guys my own age lack and on the other hand it made him more stable, which I guess makes me feel more confident too. Like I said, I am pretty new to this, so that stability is really welcome right now. And on top of that there are the daddy issues and I guess also the humilation of being with a guy that is a lot older.

[Deleted Member]

A little rectification: I am not humiliated by him being older. I guess it's more the social taboo that makes it kind of humiliating. Especially when being with him in public.

[se****]

4 hours ago, IAmCharly said:

A little rectification: I am not humiliated by him being older. I guess it's more the social taboo that makes it kind of humiliating. Especially when being with him in public.

I gave advise to a woman who was embarrassed in a very different kind of situation, but similar. A woman was sort of afraid  to say she was from Syria. I told her, you be proud where you are from, and say I am Syrian with pride.

For you... social taboo, and bit humiliating 

If you have a good, loving man... you walk with pride. Be proud who you are with, because it's not easy to find compatible partners.

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, kiseu said:

I gave advise to a woman who was embarrassed in a very different kind of situation, but similar. A woman was sort of afraid  to say she was from Syria. I told her, you be proud where you are from, and say I am Syrian with pride.

For you... social taboo, and bit humiliating 

If you have a good, loving man... you walk with pride. Be proud who you are with, because it's not easy to find compatible partners.

I think that's really something different. First of all because being Syrian is not a choice, me having an older D is. But mostly because I think you misunderstand what I mean with humiliating. But perhaps probably humiliating is not the right word. It's humiliating in the same way as going out in a very short skirt with no panties on. It's crossing a social line, but that is what makes it interesting too. Trust me, I do walk with pride next to my D.

[se****]

12 minutes ago, IAmCharly said:

I think that's really something different. First of all because being Syrian is not a choice, me having an older D is. But mostly because I think you misunderstand what I mean with humiliating. But perhaps probably humiliating is not the right word. It's humiliating in the same way as going out in a very short skirt with no panties on. It's crossing a social line, but that is what makes it interesting too. Trust me, I do walk with pride next to my D.

I didn't see age with my eyes. Also, I said "a good, loving man"... not a Dom. I can understand very short skirt with no panties.

[Ge****]

No Panties and short skirt! Very commendable 👍👍☺️☺️

[Ge****]

I once had a sub when I was 37 she was 17. It was real deep meaningful. We lived 100 miles apart. She was amazing but wanted children I didn't. As already had 2. Plus she wanted to come and live with me. I was told that it would destroy her mother and family if I took her away.. so I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make. With a very heavy heart I decided to walk away and break two hearts Instead of a whole family.

[se****]

34 minutes ago, ShropshireDom70 said:

I once had a sub when I was 37 she was 17. It was real deep meaningful. We lived 100 miles apart. She was amazing but wanted children I didn't. As already had 2. Plus she wanted to come and live with me. I was told that it would destroy her mother and family if I took her away.. so I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make. With a very heavy heart I decided to walk away and break two hearts Instead of a whole family.

Yep, a good man would do that.💖