Is Italy the problem? 🤔

[USER_0121]

Hey everyone,

I’ve been wondering about this for a while and wanted to hear other opinions.

Why does it seem so hard to find dates or real connections with a mistress, especially here in Italy? The scene feels very limited compared to what you see abroad, and honestly I’ve never managed to find an appointment with a mistress so far, even though I’d definitely be open and willing to do it.

 

Do you think it’s because this kind of dynamic is less common or less openly accepted here? Or maybe it’s more about culture, privacy, or how things work in Italy compared to other countries?

 

If anyone knows more about this or has personal experience, I’d really like to understand better

[BallpointBen]

It’s worldwide dw! Women have too many options to pick from so chances you get a reply are slim

[po****]

You live in italy? Stop crying, cruize up to Germany for aa weekend where they are all dominatrix 😂😂😂

[Tr****]

Mama mia

[Ca****]

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

[Su****]

I guess you bros just be a tad bit whack. I rolled through some euro girls from France to S*** to Amsterdam. Wine and dine them my G’s

[wo****]

26 minutes ago, CaptRyan said:

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

Surely you exaggerate. I can understand the sentiment of frustration, but this is the first time I’m hearing about the mass conversion to lesbianism.

[Da****]

If you know of any recently converted lesbians let me know, I have a female friend who would be interested…

[jo****]

1 uur geleden, CaptRyan said:

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

Peak tate shit. 🤮🤮

[He****]

There's tons in Australia too 

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, CaptRyan said:

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

This is the goofiest shit ive read on here 🤣🤣🤣

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, CaptRyan said:

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

Bullshit
Just big bullshit. A guy without knowledge is talking here. If the girls get lesbian if they see you, think about your manners and behaviour. Just your post showed how much of a freak you are. Leave the online world and go outside!

[Sa****]

5 hours ago, CaptRyan said:

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

Westernized? I don’t think you know what that term means. At the very least it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

[hu****]

5 hours ago, CaptRyan said:

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

And on that note I check out to!!!!

[Deleted Member]

Maybe it’s you.

[AKA_Copper]

This is the most hilarious thread of comments on Fet (and I've written some very funny posts)
.
Women don't have 'too many options' they're not longer reliant on men to survive. We're choosing the men we want in our lives as opposed to previous generations where it's been a need to have a man in our lives.
.
We give time, space and welcome the men who bring positivity rather than the basics of *** and accommodation. We expect more than that because we're now able to obtain that ourselves.
.
Countries or where you live arent the problem. Our expectations and wants mean that we just arent that accessible to you anymore.
.
Unfortunately, some people make up excuses and put blame in places elsewhere rather than to do a deep dive into their character to re evaluate what they're offering.

[DynaBro]

6 hours ago, CaptRyan said:

Bro it's absolutely NOT Italy. Like Ballpoint said, it's every westernized country. Even Asian countries the women are checking out totally or just being lesbians now. It's horrible. They all have everyone to screw and we just want them. WTF. It sucks everywhere

Mass lesbian migration? I think its more the fact there are more men than women in the population someone like 3/4 to 1 in Asian countries (especially china) So even if ANY women decide to not want a male to female relationship it will cause even more competition for men to get a date. 

Edited December 26, 2025 by DynaBro

[It****]

I live in both the USA and Italy. The whole BDSM, kink, swinger lifestyle is not very popular there. Even when I do use aps like this in Italy 9 out of 10 times the women I match with or have met are tourist from USA, Canada or other European countries like England or Germany

[USER_0121]

Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. In my opinion, in Italy people are generally not as open-minded about these topics compared to other countries, like Germany for example. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist at all, but it’s definitely less visible and less openly accepted.

[ey****]

It's difficult to gauge in the sense that someone could only really compare if they'd lived in multiple places - and, I guess, partaken in the kink scene in multiple places.

There is a lady I kinda know I always thought was Italian (then I met her and she open her mouth and Yorkshire came out....) but she had lived and worked in Italy for a long time, and had been active in the fetish community and worked as a Domme there.   She did say it was a little more reserved than the UK and that some of the guys were pushier and harder work - so that might lead to an issue in finding folk.

This said. Not a real gauge but I looked on fetlife and I only really searched Rome and Milan - but yeah, there are only around 10,000 people who are on fetlife listed in each of those those locations which is low for what I perceive to be major cities : mind, my city in the UK is only around 7,000 and we have a good community.   There are a lot of events listed in both Rome/Milan also.  Seemed to be slightly more in Milan.   But, again of course these were me plucking two major cities, this might vary around the country.

This said... I never quite get the "grass is greener" type thing.  I mean, sure if someone lives in a tiny town which is 2 hours from the next tiny town is one thing - because a lot of people all think their life would be easier if they were somewhere else, and it's often incidental. 

[wo****]

19 hours ago, MindAholics said:

Bullshit
Just big bullshit. A guy without knowledge is talking here. If the girls get lesbian if they see you, think about your manners and behaviour. Just your post showed how much of a freak you are. Leave the online world and go outside!

I think you are hitting below the belt here. If the girls get lesbian when they see you???
That’s a particularly shitty way to insult him. Unfair and uncalled for. The implication that this is somehow the case for him is a really mean thing to pull out of your ass and throw at someone.

and you go on to throw out implications that his manners and behavior either towards or in front of women are so vile that he causes them to “get lesbian”.

Way to kick him when he’s down.

Then you go on to say that his post alone , nothing else needed, is convincing evidence to show that not only is he a “freak”, but an unusually freaky freak as a way to make the insult more caustic.

Apologize. Acknowledge that you were outright mean. Admit that you went too far, or don’t.
Maybe you want to argue with what I have said here.

The beginning and end of your post I didn’t comment on because I don’t think you hit below the belt with them. The beginning- you call him out. OK, fair enough. I called him out in the thread too. I did it differently than you but I think your way is valid. I’m reasonable and fair enough to not just say nothing about it. I called it fair and valid.
The end- constructive criticism. Big fan. Shows you care and are not just cutting him down but trying to help him. I recognize it. I gave you positive feedback and credit for doing it.
My feedback about these parts of your post show that although I criticized you harshly, I believe fairly, but also harshly earlier I am attempting to balance it to a degree. If I had it out for you I wouldn’t have bothered to do that.

You might think I misrepresented what you said or implied. If so I invite you to object and challenge what I said. We can have a back and forth about it. I could be wrong, I often am. If you challenge what I said as wrong I am going to listen. But I reserve the right to poke holes in your reasoning as I see fit if I am not convinced with some or all of it.

I offer the friendly advice to think things through and have all your ducks in a row.
I can show how and why I choose to say things the way I did. I might be wrong as I already said but if I criticize someone, especially when everything is written, I don’t just pull things out of my ass. I might be too harsh for some, but I also might not be harsh enough for others. I criticized what I read, the message. Not you. I don’t know you and have nothing against you.

If you don’t respond to this, for whatever reason, that’s OK with me too.

[li****]

It's not. "Submissive" men outnumber dominant women online in general. But if you exclude the men who aren't really submissive but only bottoms, then you get more equal numbers. I've heard it can be quite different if you attend munches in real life though. Apparently there are lots of dommes and switches there but I can't tell cause I'm only active online.

[Sa****]

Italy has always been a problem just look how it treats Sicily... Kicking a whole island?!?!

[wo****]

It hit me this morning. It’s something I have known since before I was born. Italy is the mutha fukin problem. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. The people who say different- lying.
It explains everything. Italy- smarten up. Stop causing problems for everyone.

[ey****]

9 hours ago, woburn169344 said:

It hit me this morning. It’s something I have known since before I was born. Italy is the mutha fukin problem. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. The people who say different- lying.
It explains everything. Italy- smarten up. Stop causing problems for everyone.

Genuine LOL - I love it