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Online D/s vs Real D/s – I’d like to hear Mistress opinions


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Hi everyone,

I’m 20 years old and still pretty new to the D/s world. I don’t really have experience yet, especially here, so I’m writing mainly to learn and understand better.

I’d like to ask the Mistresses here what you think about online D/s vs real-life D/s.

 

From your point of view:

• What are the main pros and cons of online D/s?

• How different does real D/s feel compared to online, in terms of control, connection and trust?

• Do you think online D/s can be a good starting point, or is it always limited compared to real dynamics?

 

If anyone has experience with one or both and feels comfortable sharing (even in a general way), I’d honestly appreciate reading your thoughts.

Personally , even without experience, I feel more drawn to real D/s, because I imagine the presence, energy and connection are much stronger than online. But that’s just my impression as someone who’s still learning.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to reply, I’m here to listen and understand.

I only play online in a limited way. Chastity key holding, controlling when they’re locked in chastity and when they’re unlocked, remotely. And some anal training with butt plugs. It’s not my preferred way on its own but it works well alongside play in person. However I know lifestyle Dommes can be few and far between, so for some subs online play enables them to connect with Dommes further afield. I once had a sub insist I did online video play with him before he met in person and that was a hard no for me.
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Play in person is a lot more intense, different connection, more powerful, more intimate. A level that I don’t personally think I could achieve online. However it can be daunting for a sub to visit a Domme for the first time and be ***. There needs to be trust and a connection built online before that can happen. For some who are too daunted by in person, online gives an alternative. For me it allows a connection to build though chat. And once meeting in person, it allows me to control them when they’re not with me, or give them instruction and tasks between visits. So I find limited online supports in person. They complement each other. Also when there isn’t the attraction or chemistry in person, online can enable there to be some degree of play to continue for a sub. That is less enjoyable for me though.
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Hoping that makes some kind of sense and always happy to chat about it more in this thread.

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