Nervous to try

[Deleted Member]

Hey everyone, I'm new to all of this. I've never actually tried any of my kinks. So my question to you is this. When you find someone to try your kinky idea with. Are you scared that you might not enjoy it? Or are you simply excited to try something new? I'm a mixture of both. But that might simply be from a lack of experience in trying new things. Forgive my ignorance on the subject matter.

[Mr-J-Sir-To-You]

I think for me, when I first got into my kinks, I found out some things was nit for me and then others I hadn't thought of doing as the idea of them I did not like but I actually turned out to like them.

Lack of experience is probably the reason why you feel somewhat apprehensive

[Strang]

I think what a lot of people don't realise about sexuality is that fantasy doesn't always translate to reality; you may have obsessed about something for the longest time and then find you don't actually enjoy participating in it. But, you'll never know until you try. So, always approach with optimism but keep in mind that it's completely normal if it turns out to be underwhelming.

[JackJonesHull]

I was always told to try everything twice, just to be sure.
I know that was about new foods, so it's probably not appropriate, but I've carried it through life as a rough guideline.
I'm not going to recommend the try twice thing, sometimes you just know the first time.
Throw the dice and see what happens.

[ki****]

Thank you fir speaking my mind as well I agree with this

[Ce****]

Conversations go a long way. Discussing your kinks and setting boundaries with your partner will help alleviate your (and their) trepidation.

You may even find the pre-talk exciting.

It's your kink! You're already in position. Now verbally bring your partner into the scene. Watch their non-verbal responses to see which elements they will enjoy most and try to set your repertoire around those.

Build into your kink. Try not to focus on your fantasy, but on adding elements from your fantasy into the mix.

The only rush is your desire to fulfill a fantasy... it fits better when you aren't focused on perfection, but rather addition.

Good luck!! =)

[Cravings2024]

Good communication and an adventurous spirit go a long way, im typically excited to try something, someone new, though there's always some level of nerves. Slipping into a dominant role and leading the way certainly helps ....have fun!

[Ba****]

Why would you be worried about actually finding out if you like something or not??
Be more worried about really liking something you get to try but the one you try it with being totally unable to enjoy it, potentially increasing their reluctance to try something else
But yeah don’t worry too much somethings sound great in your head but are outright impossible to do in real life or look really nice but feel horrible
The example that comes to mind for me is; a girl i was with had the fantasy of being dragged over a forrest ground through autumn leaves, which is a nice picture that could be done well if heavily staged, but a real autumn forrest ground has wet dirt, pointy branches, sometimes aggressive plant life and hidden *** excrement and while dragging a person across a smooth surface isn’t that difficult, on soft uneven ground you drag along everything that gets stuck on them

[Pi****]

I personally like to talk, write about our kinks. For me conversation, teasing with conversations about our desires, intentions are foreplay. I don’t know if mental simulation is a kink. If I don’t feel a connection. I may have a sexual rendezvous in a weak moment.

Without mental simulation, I just don’t get into. I love the female form and femininity. It’s magnified with clever, witty, intelligent conversations. Satirical humor,thought provoking banter, debates. Mmm, talented, attractive, intelligent, humorous, self aware. We will enjoy many amatory adventures.

To Partake in open dialogue about expectations, boundaries. Is respectful and a great way to engage with her,them and maybe learn about yourself.

[ro****]

I find while I have kinks I have realized on some I am a voyeur more than a participant in those.

[Do****]

3 hours ago, Strang said:

I think what a lot of people don't realise about sexuality is that fantasy doesn't always translate to reality; you may have obsessed about something for the longest time and then find you don't actually enjoy participating in it. But, you'll never know until you try. So, always approach with optimism but keep in mind that it's completely normal if it turns out to be underwhelming.

Thats very true and alot of times it comes from a porn addiction. Thats why alot of people just want the cyberfun

[Jo****]

5 hours ago, Strang said:

I think what a lot of people don't realise about sexuality is that fantasy doesn't always translate to reality; you may have obsessed about something for the longest time and then find you don't actually enjoy participating in it. But, you'll never know until you try. So, always approach with optimism but keep in mind that it's completely normal if it turns out to be underwhelming.

This is one of the best ways to put it. As well as the voyeur comment below

[Qu****]

Depending on what your kinks are you might be able to connect with your local dungeon and see if they do tasting nights. This will let you experience both seeing different forms of play and having a sample to figure out if it's something you want to pursue.

[Goodbicpl]

Bit of both

[Deleted Member]

Might find something you really like. Might turn out to be better as just a fantasy. Wont know until you try!

[Si****]

Most i was excited for, my biggest fetish i was skeptical i may not actually enjoy as much in real life as I did looking at it online, but my ex was a real good sport and it was pretty hot. Most of the time if you just give it a try, you may like it, unless youre sure its like a hard limit or something like that. So just try it and if you dont end up liking it, then no big deal.

[Deleted Member]

Always excited and nervous at the same time. You might want more, or never again. But you'll never know unless you try!

[Wh****]

My advice will be weird maybe, but I'd say separate 2 things.
What your heart feels, and what your brain/body response.
Why you'd logically ask! The body & brain can sometimes give you the signals it is not enjoyable but your heart may whisper: but I like it..
The other way around, your heart may feel: that is so not my things, yet your body respond by mechanics..
As you come able to read both, when the heart is right the rest becomes context to "optimize".
You enjoy but feel held back physically on the discovery (too intense, weird, confusing, perfect on the spot, etc).
When body hums but the heart doesn't follow, it's time for self reflection 😌 was the connection improperly set? Was my core just a fantasy ? (And that is OK to admit!!) Was I simply no ready but acknowledge curiosity? Etc..

So having ripped-feelings and going unsure is fine! The best I did, was actually communicating it to my top: I am not sure, I have no idea of my response, I have curiosity about this, I'd like to give it a shot.
Then upon selfwork, I separated what felt purely fantasy driven, what was enjoyable, what was mixed feelings, etc.
Journal what you'll do early in, like for real. Write how you felt post session. Then write the session itself. The read it at a later time.
You'll have changes of perspective that will guide your oath forward! 😋
The nipple clamps were thought as f**k, how could I hold it? Do I like that? Do I like it in the frame it appeared? But the rope were surprisingly freeing while I didn't had attraction to it! How come? Was it because I felt ***? Or to have the luxury to release muscular effort to focus in sensations? Should I pursue a bit more the shibari?
What if it's a man or unattractive person? Or without erotic context ? Would I still have a positive reaction? Why? Is it relationship driven or purely my feeling? Or maybe I don't like the act in itself, but enjoy watching my partner getting herself off (by torturing me maybe?)..

It will take time to settle, but I wish you a wonderful trip ahead in finding your oath too 😋

[Ba****]

7 hours ago, Pierre333 said:

I personally like to talk, write about our kinks. For me conversation, teasing with conversations about our desires, intentions are foreplay. I don’t know if mental simulation is a kink. If I don’t feel a connection. I may have a sexual rendezvous in a weak moment.

Without mental simulation, I just don’t get into. I love the female form and femininity. It’s magnified with clever, witty, intelligent conversations. Satirical humor,thought provoking banter, debates. Mmm, talented, attractive, intelligent, humorous, self aware. We will enjoy many amatory adventures.

To Partake in open dialogue about expectations, boundaries. Is respectful and a great way to engage with her,them and maybe learn about yourself.

Well mental stimulation may not be a kink on its own but ~3/4 of most kinks is mental stimulation
The rest tends to be mostly aesthetic and position/perspective
People say “it’s mostly in your head” for a reason

[Ba****]

Just remember: totally trust who you're playing with, and have a safe word- and use it. If your play partner doesn't respect the safe word, run. It's a necessary part of play.

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, Quixote_69 said:

Depending on what your kinks are you might be able to connect with your local dungeon and see if they do tasting nights. This will let you experience both seeing different forms of play and having a sample to figure out if it's something you want to pursue.

I didn't know dungeons in that sense were even a thing 🤨 I do like the sound of it, though.

[Qu****]

1 hour ago, saltydogmk said:

I didn't know dungeons in that sense were even a thing 🤨 I do like the sound of it, though.

Yeah, a good dungeon will not only offer a play space (because a lot of people don't have room for equipment) but will offer a variety of classes to teach how to do it safer (because all thing in bdsm do have some risk). My dungeon is operated by someone who's been doing medical & fire play for decades. While I haven't experienced saline injections, I've seen people doing it.

[jh****]

I’m excited to try , I’m fairly aware of my limits and what I know I wont enjoy. Anything outside of the “I’m definitely not going to like that” I will try if I like it yay , if I don’t also yay because the experience I just don’t do it again or I’ll try something slightly different the next time

[co****]

Some dungeons and even munches can have some potentially odd people in the mix or the type of dude to take his shirt off. Posed all like 'Im so pathetic ladies, beat me please 🥺 😂" it was just a regular ladies drink free club night and he had the weirdest self hatred And total cluelessness as to event night for the kink community at 🏰 in Ybor City

[mo****]

Regardless of what the dominant is into the should all be kind and courteous to have the understanding and patience with you and to make you feel comfortable to try. Good luck