Need perspective from other subs

[Be****]

I've been talking to a Dom for a few weeks. It started great but now it feels strained. Like he has lost interest and doesn't really care to continue or grow the dynamic but won't come out and say so. But I also know I have a lot of history with anxious attachment and could be reading it wrong. But it feels like he is fucking with my head which has got me feeling all kinds of backwards. What used to be good conversation and connection, reasonably quick responses that appeased my submissive need for attention and praises for being good and following through on tasks....... has turned into delayed responses, minimal conversation, no specific tasks given and no reward or punishment for not following through.
This all happened really quick though which makes me think it could just be me. Two weeks of good dynamic and making me feel alive, then 10 days of making me feel like I'm not important. I did talk to him about it and he didn't make me feel unheard, he validated my feelings etc. But I feel like it didn't really change anything.
And I can see it and point out the fucked up problems and potential red flags with it, but I can't stop the way my stomach flips and and the sub voice in my head whimpers when his name flashes across my screen. He is very DOM and the sub side of me craves it so fucking much. But it feels like he is toying with me and it's making my depression really bad.

If you made it this far, any advice? Is this a normal give and take with the dom/sub dynamic and I should be patient? Is it normal to attach to a dom so quickly and feel so perfect when you get that attention and then so shitty when you dont?

[Ch****]

Trust your gut feelings.

[D_****]

5 minutes ago, Chase***615 said:

Trust your gut feelings.

This always trust your gut

[Ta****]

Only based on what you have said he could have avoidance issues with himself which will feed into your attachment issues, which isnt good for you, your mental & emotional health.
Trust yourself, you know you better than anyone & dont be afraid to reach out if you need to.

[mi****]

It's been a few weeks. If you told him and he actually heard you like you said and nothing changed then end it. He isn't a safe person if he is making you feel like this. Maybe your stomach is actually flipping out and telling you to end. You see the flags, they don't go away. And you taking the step and walking away will help you with your anxious attachment. You have the power. The worst thing any sub can do is think they don't have power. We have all the power.
Please don't wait till you're months in and more flags have popped up

[al****]

I’ve had the same thing happen time and again.,I don’t think this is how it is supposed to be. It would be extremely wonderful in the beginning. Constant attention. Then out of the blue they tell you they are incredibly enamored of you. Or that they even feel like they love you. You let yourself believe their words and jump through all their hoops and tacks proving you are that good girl they call you. You open up and share you dreams and deepest desires. You get used to the good mornings and good nights. The phone calls or voice messages in between. You go against your better judgment and agree to move to a different communication method than here. Then you agree to meet. You have a wonderful meet and believe they could be the Dominant you’ve searched for. Only to find they start pulling away. The good morning texts are forgotten or come after lunch with a “I’ve been very busy”, the good night texts stop coming because they accidentally fell asleep.
In my opinion most of the men here are after the thrill of the chase. Once they catch you the adrenaline lessens and they no longer feel the all consuming need to make you theirs.
This has happened to me even with someone that has claimed to love me. Now I am very explicit about not letting anyone to close. I don’t trust any man. Nor do I chase after a man when he starts pulling away.,I only make friends and I don’t fall for the adrenaline inspired “love”. Nope, I will be content in the dynamic I have. I will stay where I am and be grateful that I have Him. And when he goes through his silent times I will let him have his space. I will not chase him. I will try to have more respect for myself and know I deserve better than this.

[Be****]

10 minutes ago, aligurl80 said:

I’ve had the same thing happen time and again.,I don’t think this is how it is supposed to be. It would be extremely wonderful in the beginning. Constant attention. Then out of the blue they tell you they are incredibly enamored of you. Or that they even feel like they love you. You let yourself believe their words and jump through all their hoops and tacks proving you are that good girl they call you. You open up and share you dreams and deepest desires. You get used to the good mornings and good nights. The phone calls or voice messages in between. You go against your better judgment and agree to move to a different communication method than here. Then you agree to meet. You have a wonderful meet and believe they could be the Dominant you’ve searched for. Only to find they start pulling away. The good morning texts are forgotten or come after lunch with a “I’ve been very busy”, the good night texts stop coming because they accidentally fell asleep.
In my opinion most of the men here are after the thrill of the chase. Once they catch you the adrenaline lessens and they no longer feel the all consuming need to make you theirs.
This has happened to me even with someone that has claimed to love me. Now I am very explicit about not letting anyone to close. I don’t trust any man. Nor do I chase after a man when he starts pulling away.,I only make friends and I don’t fall for the adrenaline inspired “love”. Nope, I will be content in the dynamic I have. I will stay where I am and be grateful that I have Him. And when he goes through his silent times I will let him have his space. I will not chase him. I will try to have more respect for myself and know I deserve better than this.

This sounds very familiar, and that really sucks 😔. Glad you have the dynamic you do have!

[Gracen]

Sounds like insecure/disorganized attachment on your part, which I get bc I am currently doing a lot of f*cking work to change my own attachment style which is just that. All this is said with care and respect for you. Don’t base how you feel on what type of attention you are getting/or not getting from anyone else. Work on forming a secure attachment with your own self. Don’t give your power away 💝