Self-image and confidence?

[Deleted Member]

I've struggled for a very long time with my self-image and the way other people see me. In recent years, I've gotten a lot better about it and have learned to accept the things I used to hate.

What about yourself? Do you still struggle, or did you used to? I'd love to hear what others have to say or have experienced.

[Sl****]

I think it’s pretty common for many to dislike or hate parts of themselves. I struggled with this for most of my life until recently. Some very in depth CBT helped my self talk and how i see myself, which has made a huge improvement. Accepting the parts of me that aren’t perfect took a long time but it was definitely worth the effort!

[be****]

I used to struggle when I was younger like in my 20s but by the time I hit 30s I had confidence and now I’m my 40s even more confident in life and myself. I love my body and soul.

[Deleted Member]

My only input is, everyone can tell you that you look great, but until you think you look great, you won't look great. Everyday give yourself a different affirmation, a different body part a different trait something that you can identify by looking in the mirror or just feeling.

One good thing or positive trait that I can tell you that you have is that you're not afraid of people's input because you're opening up on a website to strangers. And that takes courage.

I don't know you but you will find things and it will pay off. Don't be afraid to look at that person in the mirror. I was afraid to look in the mirror for a long time but now I look in the mirror and I say "you're a sexy mother fucker you win the day!"

[Ch****]

I've always struggled with my looks, being bigger. The lack of confidence has just got worse over the years with aging too.

[MN****]

I used to think I was attractive untill I tried dating on these apps. Not my self esteem is non existent 😆 Everyone makes me feel horrible about myself

[Deleted Member]

I have a walking disability. When I was young my looks above the hips wasn't too shoddy. And my personality seemed to carry me through. I was popular. Always loved to laugh (still do) and my confidence was through the roof. But something happened aling tbis journey called life, and I can't even bear to look at myself now. I think that's partly why I'm here. I'm led to believe that the kink community is very accepting. I just haven't yet built up the courage to meet anyone yet.

[Deleted Member]

Very simple bit of advice, control the controllable and fuck everything else.
It can be used in all situations, things out of your control ie how others see you, you can change your body, your look to suit how you want it to be - control the outcome - but others views or opinions, it's out of your control, so why let it bother you?

[Sh****]

My formative years were spent isolated in a very racist environment, and so I wasn’t considered physically attractive at all because I wasn’t white. My breasts were too small, I got made fun of for being skinny, my eyes were shaped funny, etc. While tough at the time (and I did hate myself for a time for not meeting white beauty standards) it was a double-edged sword because I eventually learned that I needed to develop other parts of myself, things that I could control. I’ve long since left my childhood neighborhood and discovered I’m not the worst to look at after all. But with everything so relative (culturally, class wise, etc.), digitally altered images, and AI produced images of “ideal” people, I think anyone can be socially trained to hate some aspect of their bodies. I am happy that rather than agonize forever about something I couldn’t control, I chose to positively develop other things, a tiny consolation to a harrowing childhood. This doesn’t excuse or justify the chauvinism people directed at me (and still do), I am just happy that I chose to find grounding in things other than my looks. I also know I’m going to look like Yoda one day, so I’m just enjoying the ride until I do, and frankly, I can’t wait to hopefully be as wise as Yoda!!