Popular Post Th**** Posted April 9 Popular Post I intentionally use my words to guide, reassure, and deepen connection with my partner(s) in a way that feels both emotionally grounding and intimate. I might say things like, “I’ve got you, you’re safe with me,” when I feel them relaxing into me, or “that’s exactly what I wanted from you,” when they’re responding in a way that aligns with the moment. I’ll let them know I see them—“you feel so good right now,” “I love how you respond to me,” or “you’re doing perfect, don’t hold back”—not just as praise, but as a way to draw them deeper into trust and presence. For me, it’s not just about complimenting them; it’s about using my voice to create a space where they feel desired, supported, and fully seen while we’re connected. --------- What are the ways you affirm?
Re**** Posted April 9 Actually you seem to have taken the words right out of my mouth… 👄… so to speak. 😆 It is so determined by the moment, environment, the person… by what stays steady is the presence. It’s a matter of intentionally being in the moment with them. There are times when I may even start talking about being in the moment as we start the play session, intentionally setting intentions. It has a tendency to bring the curiosity of the connection into play, and being curious is always fun! 🤩
Ki**** Posted April 9 This I great. I have been thinking about how to improve my communication during sessions. This was a great tip.👌🏾 open to learn more:)
Ki**** Posted April 9 Hey bro, what you wrote in your profile is very and also describes me. Would you be ok if I copy it?
Jameslay01 Posted April 9 I will just comment, saying you have said everything on my mind right now,they is nothing left to say again 🫣
Deleted Member Posted April 10 I think you're doing something right there. You will have a very happy sub... 😉
Ba**** Posted April 10 Not to antagonize people but you may wanna be careful/mindful of that, with the wrong or even just not the right intentions it can be deceptively abusive because of the hight potential for isolation, dependency and manipulation Really not throwing shade, i couldn’t even honestly afford to if i wanted I‘m not good at verbal affirmation or *** so i tend to do most of that on explicit request If i myself want to make my partner feel seen, appreciated, loved, safe and/or desired i usually use some sort of physical touch
Ba**** Posted April 10 3 minutes ago, Barthold said: Not to antagonize people but you may wanna be careful/mindful of that, with the wrong or even just not the right intentions it can be deceptively abusive because of the hight potential for isolation, dependency and manipulation Really not throwing shade, i couldn’t even honestly afford to if i wanted I‘m not good at verbal affirmation or *** so i tend to do most of that on explicit request If i myself want to make my partner feel seen, appreciated, loved, safe and/or desired i usually use some sort of physical touch Crap, the uselessly censored word is… … …D.E.G.R.A.D.A.T.I.O.N
lu**** Posted April 10 I will use language like that when we are in a scene. And in that space, esp with the deep voice...yeah they melt. IRL I am more interested in demonstrating those sweet words by engaging with them in their interests and challenges. Intentionally, and quite specifically not making it about me at all. Which is not always easy with my ego in the room. Bartholds point sounds like love bombing. Inundating someone with emotional intensity as a way to secure, control, accelerate the thrill without doing the work to build a relationship with the person. I had to unpack that for myself when a previous partner called me out on it. In the process of unpacking that behavior I found that I was chasing the experience of attraction , sex, intimacy but notreally engaging with the person. I was making it about me and what I wanted. The irony there is that when I stop manipulating and chasing and just show up authentically there is so much more of what I want to be had and it is soooooo much easier.
Sm**** Posted April 11 I love seeing someone else put this thought into words. I've tossed how to explain a thought here around for awhile. Positive Affirmations are not the love I prefer to have shown to me. But they are how I engage with the world. With friends I make sure to tell them often and in detail how and why they are valid and loved. What they do well and how important they are. Even if they aren't like me, knowing I mean it genuinely resonates with them. However I have noticed that my last two partners seemed to react differently to these affirmations in our day to day lives then they do to some minor affirmations and praise during/after intimate times.
To**** Posted April 13 I believe it's all about the love languages. If words of affirmation is high in your love language order you're definitely going to respond to it but if it's much lower down like my former partner then words and that type of affirmation and encouragement mean nothing. The five love languages... gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation and finally physical touch (which is not just sex but all the copious cuddling and hand holding and caressing) Yes I know they are all important. If I didn't get a present at Christmas I'd be ***ed too as "gifts" is my least important love language. But generally speaking we have a preferred order of Love Languages that we want to show up most often during the day. If you want to do a fun test you can Google New beginnings five love languages test free PDF. Yes it's free. No I don't work for the company but I totally believe in the system it's literally changed my relationship experience. The priority is to find someone who has the identical love language order. If not identical, then at least your top three should be the same as your partner for a truly deep and enriching relationship!
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