Discourage and Hopeless😮‍💨

[Bambi1288]

It's only been a little over 5 months since I've been on this website. To me that is not a very long time but it seems like forever. To be honest I didn't know what to expect or what type of experience I would have. Don't get me wrong I know what this website is about a community of people that enjoy exploring their kinks fetishes and etc. Which I am here for the same thing but more! I know I'm not alone looking for (ltr) not just hooking up. I have changed up my profile so many times hoping to find the right person in becoming a partner with and eventually my Dom. Regardless on What I say in my profile I still get unwanted messages looking for something totally different than what I'm looking for. I just politely erase the message without any response. I'm curious to know is it my age do they expect because I'm young and that I should be already sexual, ready to do anything and everything they want of me to do? I read so many formulas of different people getting the same response in their mailbox of unwanted guests... I was always interested in older men from the ages of 25 and up I felt as though that the maturity level will be different from my peers that I'm used to speaking with. By them being young and already sexual active and ready to dick any girl they can find I knew I didn't want to be with any one of them that cross my path... I cannot change the way I look I cannot cover up the curves of my body I know that I'm a pretty girl I was told that so many times I'm not conceited or think that I'm better than any other female but I want to attract something more than just my physical appearance... I tried to post pictures that I have clothes on not revealing so much of my body I'm not knocking others on how their approaches is on seeking their attention but like I said before I want the right attention to answer my profile I want somebody to want to know me as a person first, of course eventually the conversation will turn into our kinks and fetishes and etc but, what surprised me more is that I'm getting these older gentlemen that are acting like these young-minded boys that is approaching me that is clearly by reading my profile that's not what I am interested in. By me being a newbie and un experienced  wanting to explore my sexual appetite I would have thought to someone by reading it you would want to start from the basics by knowing each other first allowing me to get comfortable with them but I guess not. It's always the same thing leaving me discourage and hopeless 😮‍💨

[to****]

I can’t speak for everyone clearly, but I see you use a message filter that rules out what I’d like to think is a sensible mature and refined Dom.
Are you asking for only 18-25 people for example to message you and then concerned about the replies? Because that may be the issue?

[Deleted Member]

There will be men who do want to get to know you. But you have to get past the frogs first. What are your filters set to?
Looking at your profile - I think it really unlikely people will read all of that text. What is the most important thing you want to get across? Focus on that and put it at the top. If you want to have a LTR, why not put that as what you’re looking for?

[Deleted Member]

Not sure why you would give up now. As you motioned it’s only been 5 months. You need to see trough the crowded contender, it’s a big magnet from social apps, sex starved idiots who don’t understand one once of whats bdsm lifestyle is about. It’s a hard work to find someone you can communicate and also connect with. Give more time and you will forget about all the negative moment.

[Deleted Member]

Bambi 1288 . I agree don’t give up now and yes it’s only been 5 months and you now have a good insight into dealing with unwanted attention. Unfortunately some men are not going to improve themselves and will continue to act like a Dr Who Dalek in their approach to Women. But like the dalek these men can’t climb stairs and will continue his one level existence. On the other side of the coin is the enlightened man one who has manners and respect and will approach with more sensitivity. A lot depends on upbringing and peer pressure and his male and female role models. Ask direct questions about his personal life and make notes on paper , you can then cross check later if you ask him the same question twice . Sometimes we are rewarded so write down on paper the near as perfect vision of your ideal man and put inside your pillow case when you sleep and maybe who knows? 🌹🙏🌹🙏

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Curvykate said:

There will be men who do want to get to know you. But you have to get past the frogs first. 

I hope you don’t mean french people 🤔😂

[Roxy1957]

Don’t give up. I’m not giving up. I’m even making myself go to a dungeon alone tonight, which petrifies me.

[an****]

There are a few of us out there Bambi. I find getting to know someone is most of the excitement. For if you don’t connect mentally and understand the intricacies of a person’s self, the rest of it doesn’t last very long and is usually unsatisfying at best.

I wouldn’t give up as there are some really fascinating, passionate, interesting people here but like many have replied, you have to weed out bad stuff and embrace the good. You’ll learn to recognize them early on the more you engage.

Make a few more posts like this, real people, some of them friend worthy, take the time to comment. 🌹🌹

[Deleted Member]

Unfortunately, it is no different to vanilla dating sites here.
Like others have said, you have to sift through the rubbish first! People ignore your profile or try their luck.
Don't be disheartened (easy to say, i know) I found my Daddy on here and we've been together 3 years.
It can be done.......oh and he wasn't looking for ltr 🤣

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, FabSeverus said:

I hope you don’t mean french people 🤔😂

I didn’t! 🤗

[Bambi1288]

5 hours ago, Curvykate said:

There will be men who do want to get to know you. But you have to get past the frogs first. What are your filters set to?
Looking at your profile - I think it really unlikely people will read all of that text. What is the most important thing you want to get across? Focus on that and put it at the top. If you want to have a LTR, why not put that as what you’re looking for?

Thank you I appreciate that 😌

[Bambi1288]

5 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

Not sure why you would give up now. As you motioned it’s only been 5 months. You need to see trough the crowded contender, it’s a big magnet from social apps, sex starved idiots who don’t understand one once of whats bdsm lifestyle is about. It’s a hard work to find someone you can communicate and also connect with. Give more time and you will forget about all the negative moment.

Thank you for your advice 😌

[Bambi1288]

4 hours ago, TAROTT said:

Bambi 1288 . I agree don’t give up now and yes it’s only been 5 months and you now have a good insight into dealing with unwanted attention. Unfortunately some men are not going to improve themselves and will continue to act like a Dr Who Dalek in their approach to Women. But like the dalek these men can’t climb stairs and will continue his one level existence. On the other side of the coin is the enlightened man one who has manners and respect and will approach with more sensitivity. A lot depends on upbringing and peer pressure and his male and female role models. Ask direct questions about his personal life and make notes on paper , you can then cross check later if you ask him the same question twice . Sometimes we are rewarded so write down on paper the near as perfect vision of your ideal man and put inside your pillow case when you sleep and maybe who knows? 🌹🙏🌹🙏

It funny that you mention that😅 I actually did that my pros & cons I guess I'll visit back to my list... Thank you so for your kind words 😌

[Bambi1288]

4 hours ago, angry_g said:

There are a few of us out there Bambi. I find getting to know someone is most of the excitement. For if you don’t connect mentally and understand the intricacies of a person’s self, the rest of it doesn’t last very long and is usually unsatisfying at best.

I wouldn’t give up as there are some really fascinating, passionate, interesting people here but like many have replied, you have to weed out bad stuff and embrace the good. You’ll learn to recognize them early on the more you engage.

Make a few more posts like this, real people, some of them friend worthy, take the time to comment. 🌹🌹

Thank you I just want to vent and share my thoughts and feelings not trying to get attention... But thank you appreciate it😌

[Bambi1288]

3 hours ago, Myrtz said:

Unfortunately, it is no different to vanilla dating sites here.
Like others have said, you have to sift through the rubbish first! People ignore your profile or try their luck.
Don't be disheartened (easy to say, i know) I found my Daddy on here and we've been together 3 years.
It can be done.......oh and he wasn't looking for ltr 🤣

Thank you for sharing that very encouraging and he wasn't looking for (ltr)😂

[Bambi1288]

4 hours ago, Roxy1957 said:

Don’t give up. I’m not giving up. I’m even making myself go to a dungeon alone tonight, which petrifies me.

Thank you 😌

[Roxy1957]

You have the most beautiful smile. You’ll find someone.

[Beba50]

I feel the same way.

I’m looking for something special and I think that’s the problem I’m having in being to picky. I am hoping the reward is worth it when I find the right man for me and my desires. 
 

good luck 🤞 

[Scarlettmiss25]

You can also set a limit to filter out the messages that are shorter than a certain number of characters, like hi or hey and if I was you I'd just post it in my profile that you arent going to reply to messages like that 😊 Its what I did. As for getting messages from the wrong type of play partner, they just come with the territory I find and they just send a mass of messages out to try to get responses. Keep your chin up chick you're worth it 😘

[Th****]

2 hours ago, Scarlettmiss25 said:

You can also set a limit to filter out the messages that are shorter than a certain number of characters, like hi or hey and if I was you I'd just post it in my profile that you arent going to reply to messages like that 😊 Its what I did. As for getting messages from the wrong type of play partner, they just come with the territory I find and they just send a mass of messages out to try to get responses. Keep your chin up chick you're worth it 😘

Under your account just go to Settings > Message Filter 

 

You can set the age range you want messages from, the Gender, the amount of characters etc,

Scarlett is right it is a great way to minimise the number d**k heads you get in your inbox. It will at least make the messages you get far more relevant to what you are seeking.

As for the others do not even deign them with a response.

If you want to know if they read your profile then put a sentence in it that says something like "Start you message with the word <insert word here> if you want me to respond."

I do wish you better luck and keep being picky it is by far the best approach.

[Bambi1288]

4 hours ago, Beba50 said:

I feel the same way.

I’m looking for something special and I think that’s the problem I’m having in being to picky. I am hoping the reward is worth it when I find the right man for me and my desires. 
 

good luck 🤞 

Thank you I knew I wasn't alone.. I wish you luck on finding your man I'm sure he'll be the lucky one 😊

[Bambi1288]

22 minutes ago, Thebian said:

Under your account just go to Settings > Message Filter 

 

You can set the age range you want messages from, the Gender, the amount of characters etc,

Scarlett is right it is a great way to minimise the number d**k heads you get in your inbox. It will at least make the messages you get far more relevant to what you are seeking.

As for the others do not even deign them with a response.

If you want to know if they read your profile then put a sentence in it that says something like "Start you message with the word <insert word here> if you want me to respond."

I do wish you better luck and keep being picky it is by far the best approach.

Thank you I will definitely try that.... I'm still trying to get use to the system browsing round in my editing.. But I'll definitely fix that and hopefully it will become much smoother for me 😊

[Bambi1288]

2 hours ago, Scarlettmiss25 said:

You can also set a limit to filter out the messages that are shorter than a certain number of characters, like hi or hey and if I was you I'd just post it in my profile that you arent going to reply to messages like that 😊 Its what I did. As for getting messages from the wrong type of play partner, they just come with the territory I find and they just send a mass of messages out to try to get responses. Keep your chin up chick you're worth it 😘

Thanks luv I appreciate that... I'm going to definitely fix it I want a better experience and find my special person🤗

[Bambi1288]

4 minutes ago, Bambi1288 said:

Thank you I will definitely try that.... I'm still trying to get use to the system browsing round in my editing.. But I'll definitely fix that and hopefully it will become much smoother for me 😊

Thank for the advice I was a little confused on how but thank you!😌

[Bambi1288]

On 4/10/2021 at 2:27 PM, topspur30 said:

I can’t speak for everyone clearly, but I see you use a message filter that rules out what I’d like to think is a sensible mature and refined Dom.
Are you asking for only 18-25 people for example to message you and then concerned about the replies? Because that may be the issue?

I'm kinda of a nerd so I wrote my venting down on my notebook on my app and copy and paste it on this formula I didn't realize I was doing that🤷🏾‍♀️ I guess when I got those last messages it upset me to the point I started writing that's what I do. If that was the case it wasn't intentionally...