kink exclusivity

[Ba****]

Not selfish at all. I'm actually the opposite, though. Lol. I don't want a bf/bf relationship with more than one person, but I definitely would not be put off by both of us having more kink partners.

[Da****]

No that isn't selfish. A lot about kinks is trust. And if its Sub/Dom its about commitment and submission trust and respect. And if that is something you don't want to share that. That isn't selfish. That is you not wanting someone to share that kinda bond with someone else that is perfectly reasonable.

[Ba****]

16 hours ago, rocky-point737293 said:

What is vanilla I’m just learning about a lot of this?

„Vanilla“ is just the more polite term for people or relationships not related to BDSM/kink
Aka „normal“(rude to „us“) or „basic“(rude to „them“) hence „vanilla“ as in the flavour you can find mixed into most others and few people dislike

[Ba****]

I try to not have any more purely vanilla relationships similarly to how I don’t go out looking for self-proclaimed hetero and/or monogamous people
If one happens one happens

In terms of exclusivity i‘m selectively territorial, i would want to share „my“ women with women(even outside of my relationships) and their relationships aren’t really my business but I don’t share women who declare themselves(I don’t go around claiming people on my own) „my“ woman with men, casual play/practice partners or friendship+ type situationships can have their own harem of men if they want(as long as they don’t count me as part of it)

[nx****]

Going to lead to problems unless it’s something you both genuinely want. Things change..

[ed****]

Regardless of the motive, the issue at hand still needs to be addressed and both parties have to land in a spot where they can move forward and be comfortable. Hopefully that's together.

[Da****]

I think, like poly relationships in general, are something that only work going into it. It's like in a vanilla relationship asking to open things seemingly out of the blue. Rather than going into it you both want and expect this type of dynamic. Make sense?

[Br****]

You can ask for what you want, and they can either accept it, or not. Before you ask, figure out how you are going to react if they say no.

Honestly, I would say no. It might be worth taking time to figure out why you think this is important to you. I might also say yes if it's just a certain thing that is "our thing", but this could also just be an unreasonable expectation.

[fe****]

The moment this became an open-minded arrangement. It is harder to have control over the categories for which you want monogamy and the parts in which you want exclusivity. You need a direct discussion with your partner and do not ask, just directly demand that you and him make a list of what you each want. Then you compromise in between but with a binding relationship agreement that everything related to BDSM has to be together and not separated.