Popular Post Am**** Posted May 15 Popular Post How many people are open about having HSV2? I guess if you’re not, you probably wouldn’t say anything 😆 But it’s something I’ve almost always been open about. I was only ashamed for the first two years, especially since I contracted it while I was passed out. I started disclosing very early in conversations with potential partners so as not to waste mine or others’ time. It’s been 23 years, so I’m used to dropping the H bomb. Eventually I started posting about it on social media to remove the stigma. 85% of people have HSV1, which I weirdly don’t have. At LEAST 25% of people have HSV2, but many don’t know since it’s not on standard STI panels. It only started being stigmatized during the AIDS epidemic, and HIV Is pretty much the new HSV, since it’s treatable and preventable now. I just had the worst reaction I’ve experienced by disclosing, and I was shocked that it was on a site like this. We had great rapport, although it was a relatively short interaction, but he was more interested in me than I was in him and asked me on a date. As soon as I started to come around I dropped the H bomb within a casual conversation, and he “passed.” No “I’m sorry but I’m not comfortable with that,” no questions, nada. If he’d asked, I could’ve told him Ive only given it to one person and it’s bc he didn’t want to listen that I’d just had an outbreak and was in the shedding period. I would think such an open-minded and openly communicative community would contain a modicum of politeness after rapport was established, but I’ve also experienced a great deal of the opposite in this community too. I’m always surprised, but I’m autistic, so I tend to think others will treat me how I’d treat them no matter how many times I’m proved wrong. I obviously dodged a bullet regardless bc…rude af, Dr. Not My Daddy. I’ve put my status on my profile now, so hopefully I won’t experience that shock again. So back to my original question…how many of you are open about your status?
Kn**** Posted May 15 If I was a carrier of any sti I would talk about it within few conversations if you had an idea it could lead to physical activities
ni**** Posted May 15 In some states it’s a law that you have to tell your partner of you have it or hiv I believe.
zh**** Posted May 15 I always bring it up, and usually, shortly after we start talking, preferably face to face 😁
Si**** Posted May 15 I dated a partner that had HSV1. Being as I wasn’t super informed on either HSV1 or 2, I did the only logical thing: I spoke to my doctor. While it can be a bit concerning initially finding out that 1 can jump to 2 and 2 to 1. I was given plenty of information on safety and prevention and finally after plenty of patiently answered questions and research, I made the decision that with all the proper precautions that the person was worth the minor risk. So it wouldn’t necessarily stop me from what I may see as a possible great relationship. Hell, I’ve been on PReP for years as a precaution and regularly use condoms. So even someone being HIV positive wouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker for me if I felt the relationship had potential. Plenty of discussion and extra precautions. But not a deal breaker.
Br**** Posted May 15 I would consider anything less than full transparency to be highly unethical. If someone told me they had something I wasn't comfortable with, it would make me sad, but would still be kind to them.
in**** Posted May 15 When things moving toward meeting, I always inform potential partners that I test positive for HSV1 antibodies (no outbreak history). I approach this very matter-of-fact, only one person ever had an issue with it, so we didn’t get together. Ethically, everyone should of course reveal their full STI status.
ma**** Posted May 15 I got cold sores when I was in the hospital because someone with HSV sipped on the wrong drink straw. Luckily it was treated right away. Never had any issues since.
Pr**** Posted May 15 I don't have any. When I was 13 I got chlamydia (treated) and I get checked monthly ever since, that being said I would hope that any partner would willingly discuss any health concerns
Deleted Member Posted May 15 People are just uneducated when it comes to situations of this matter. I don’t have it. However I spent 4 yrs nearly 5 with someone that does. And if they were to have read up on it. They’d know that a very low percentage of women that carry it pass it on to a man. It’s all about knowing when an outbreak is occurring and the shedding time there after. It’s unfortunate that most just run rather than read. Good luck
Ti**** Posted May 15 Full transparency right off the bat. I've only ever had one outbreak and went to go get tested immediately, that's the only way I know I have it. I would never put this on somebody else. My current partner doesn't even have it and we've been together for almost 3 years.
ls**** Posted May 15 I will always talk about it with potential sex partners, no matter how ***ful it is or how many relationships I lose. I wasn’t given that choice, the person who gave it to me let me discover it on my own, but I’d never wish that on anyone else, they have a right to know before consenting. Since first getting it though, I’ve had a relatively mild time with it. It’s been maybe over a decade since I’ve had any symptoms, I forget I have it most of the time. The whole time I had it, my ex-wife of 8 years never caught it. I don’t see it as a big deal, but I understand why people never exposed to it might be afraid.
Ro**** Posted May 15 Hi! Nurse here! 70% of the population has type 1 or 2. Most people don’t realize they have it. They are completely symptom free carriers. Easy to transmit. Most susceptible and notable populations that this impacts are newborns and the elderly. It has the potential to cross the *** brain barrier and really cause harm. So much stigma. If a person has type 1 (oral) and goes down on you it is now type 2 (genital). So not always from sex. I applaud your efforts to be safe and honest!
No**** Posted May 15 While in chatting i have had three people tell me they have herpes which was an immediate no for me. It is also why im monogamous and scared asf of stds.
Kn**** Posted May 15 2 hours ago, Sir_Lochland said: I dated a partner that had HSV1. Being as I wasn’t super informed on either HSV1 or 2, I did the only logical thing: I spoke to my doctor. While it can be a bit concerning initially finding out that 1 can jump to 2 and 2 to 1. I was given plenty of information on safety and prevention and finally after plenty of patiently answered questions and research, I made the decision that with all the proper precautions that the person was worth the minor risk. So it wouldn’t necessarily stop me from what I may see as a possible great relationship. Hell, I’ve been on PReP for years as a precaution and regularly use condoms. So even someone being HIV positive wouldn’t necessarily be a deal breaker for me if I felt the relationship had potential. Plenty of discussion and extra precautions. But not a deal breaker. Idk if I could do it I’m pushing 40 i haven’t got anything in all that time that Jesus .. the idea of being told I have hiv even with all the meds available even though it’s not looked at like it was in Philadelphia …that’s the attitude about hiv that I grew up around and I know it’s not death sentence like it once was It deal breaker for me
Ro**** Posted May 15 Ironically enough if you do enough research you find that hsv1 can travel to the brain causing almost certain lethal infections when the hsv2 is considered more stigmatized. Either way, if your contagious and don’t tell your partner your a POS and I hope you go to jail for ***. Honestly is NOT negotiable. Coming from someone who has Hsv1.
shadownympho Posted May 15 I won't sleep with anyone without telling them, but I can't say I've online except in DM/PM. Untill now, but I believe in transparency with a partner is essential
si**** Posted May 15 @AmandaRedd Congrats for bringing this up. * we are all learners. We are should all be educators when armed with proper knowledge * From a medical perspective: HIV is NOT HSV. ( HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS). Generally people have thought of Oral/mouth Labia ( COLD SORES) as HSV 1. By age 5, 90% have HSV 1. Most do not experience the symptoms ever. For some it is VERY ***FUL !!!. My sympathies. Most hearsay treatments at best are comfort control. HSV 2: generally considered GENITAL HERPES. BOTH are relatives of the HERPES VIRUS. Since we engage in genital and oral contact, Either can be passed to other. There is NO cure. Both are self-iimiting.They go away from the surface. The virus retreats into GANGLIA of nearby nerves. They resurface in times of STRESS ( any - illness, psychological, etc). Both can be considered STis. ( think of kissing, licking etc as SEXUAL. DO YOUR PART. MENTION TO YOUR PRIMARY CLINICIAN. If feeling embarrassed, say you you have ***FUL COLD SORES OCCASIONALLY. NO clinician will refuse. Well controlled by HERPES antiviral medications. They work on BOTH. Ask to keep on hand. Start on the very first day ( first signs of symptoms- you are the first to know ! ). This gives the best relief. Reduces shredding of the virus - hence reduces transmission. Avoid creams ( Ineffective). AVOID BRAND NAMES- needless expense!! Common; ACYCLOVIR. Cheapest. Different strengths. Best for compliance ( remembering to take) is 400mg TWICE A DAY. - Usually TAKE 5- 10 DAYS. PLEASE TAKE. ( DON'T stop after 1,2 days. Other names equally effective. More expensive. Hope this helps. HAPPY FULLFILMENT OF DESIRES. HUGS
Lemony Posted May 15 1 hour ago, RosaLucyJane said: Hi! Nurse here! 70% of the population has type 1 or 2. Most people don’t realize they have it. They are completely symptom free carriers. Easy to transmit. Most susceptible and notable populations that this impacts are newborns and the elderly. It has the potential to cross the *** brain barrier and really cause harm. So much stigma. If a person has type 1 (oral) and goes down on you it is now type 2 (genital). So not always from sex. I applaud your efforts to be safe and honest! Just a quick correction, the location isn’t what makes it HSV1 or HSV2. It is the strain of the virus, so you can have HSV2 on your lips or HSV1 on your genitals or both etc.
Ro**** Posted May 15 From a POV of someone who screens regularly ( min 1x/ yr, usually 2x) for other health issues mainly and because I'm solo poly and proactively protect my health at this age/ stage, as well as keeping my long established anchors health in mind. I would be one to offer only non sexual friendship to anyone who has that status. I would appreciate the fact that someone was honest up front. That way I can make an informed decision. I commend you in the transparent honesty.
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