Shilo66 Posted June 6 (edited) On 5/15/2026 at 1:18 AM, AmandaRedd said: How many people are open about having HSV2? I guess if you’re not, you probably wouldn’t say anything 😆 But it’s something I’ve almost always been open about. I was only ashamed for the first two years, especially since I contracted it while I was passed out. I started disclosing very early in conversations with potential partners so as not to waste mine or others’ time. It’s been 23 years, so I’m used to dropping the H bomb. Eventually I started posting about it on social media to remove the stigma. 85% of people have HSV1, which I weirdly don’t have. At LEAST 25% of people have HSV2, but many don’t know since it’s not on standard STI panels. It only started being stigmatized during the AIDS epidemic, and HIV Is pretty much the new HSV, since it’s treatable and preventable now. I just had the worst reaction I’ve experienced by disclosing, and I was shocked that it was on a site like this. We had great rapport, although it was a relatively short interaction, but he was more interested in me than I was in him and asked me on a date. As soon as I started to come around I dropped the H bomb within a casual conversation, and he “passed.” No “I’m sorry but I’m not comfortable with that,” no questions, nada. If he’d asked, I could’ve told him Ive only given it to one person and it’s bc he didn’t want to listen that I’d just had an outbreak and was in the shedding period. I would think such an open-minded and openly communicative community would contain a modicum of politeness after rapport was established, but I’ve also experienced a great deal of the opposite in this community too. I’m always surprised, but I’m autistic, so I tend to think others will treat me how I’d treat them no matter how many times I’m proved wrong. I obviously dodged a bullet regardless bc…rude af, Dr. Not My Daddy. I’ve put my status on my profile now, so hopefully I won’t experience that shock again. So back to my original question…how many of you are open about your status? To the OP, I'd just like to say thank you for being so upfront and honest about your situation, it's a breath of fresh air in this place, and I wish more people were like you. You see, I do not have any STDs, and I don't play with anyone until after we've both had the usual checks and show each other our results. And, it's always at this stage, when I state we should get tested, etc, etc, that some start to get nervous, sheepish, or dismissive. This is when I get to find out, without them telling me, that something is up, and it's because they were reluctant to divulge this from the get-go, I rapidly lose interest and will disappear. Now, had they been upfront and honest like yourself, then it would have been my choice whether I played with them or not. And I value that. But, they weren't. They were sneaky and only revealed something was up because they couldn't hide / get away with it anymore, so, as a result of their actions, I felt as though I could not trust them, and that they had little regard for my well-being. So just imagine what I could have caught had I not been so insistent on getting tested before playing! I really value honesty in potential partners / playmates, so had they been honest - before they had to be - about themselves with such a condition, my estimations of them would have been raised. To the point that I would have asked them questions and researched for myself, to find out if it was possible to indulge without me catching anything, and if it was possible, I'd give it a go. I've a sneaky feeling that now, you'll probably get more guys interested in you, because you come across as a honest person and, one they'll feel like they can trust with their well-being. Edited June 6 by Shilo66
Br**** Posted June 6 I have HSV1 upstairs since the age of 6. My girlfriends know this. I don’t play with people when it flares up and use patches to treat it. I don’t mention it as it’s so commonplace, and I live in the UK where we don’t get sued for what we do or don’t mention. I’ve dated someone with HSV2 downstairs. We always played safe, and we agreed me giving no oral as well, as I wasn’t comfortable with this. Apart from that, no big deal and I appreciated her honesty.
Wi**** Posted June 6 1 hour ago, BraggiR said: I have HSV1 upstairs since the age of 6. My girlfriends know this. I don’t play with people when it flares up and use patches to treat it. I don’t mention it as it’s so commonplace, and I live in the UK where we don’t get sued for what we do or don’t mention. I’ve dated someone with HSV2 downstairs. We always played safe, and we agreed me giving no oral as well, as I wasn’t comfortable with this. Apart from that, no big deal and I appreciated her honesty. You’re completely wrong. I’m in the uk too, look up the law, not disclosing diseases is a criminal act called biological grievous bodily harm, so if you pass on an STD you can be prosecuted.
Shilo66 Posted June 6 To all those thinking that you can't be prosecuted for transmitting an STI in the UK, well actually, YOU CAN BE, but HOW AND WHEN is complicated: What follows below, is a good summary of the ' How and When' mentioned above: In the UK, there is no blanket legal requirement to disclose an STI to sexual partners. However, if you knowingly have an infection (particularly HIV, hepatitis, or herpes) and transmit it without disclosing it, you can be prosecuted for recklessly or intentionally transmitting a serious infection under the Offences Against the Person Act 1861. The Core Rule: Reckless or Intentional Transmission For almost all STIs, simple non-disclosure prior to sex does not constitute a criminal offence, nor does it negate consent. However, the actual transmission of an STI is legally treated as inflicting "grievous bodily harm" (GBH) and is seen as a criminal offence. You can face legal action (under Section 20 or Section 18 of the OAPA 1861) if all of the following apply: You knew you were infected at the time of the sexual activity. You intended to transmit the infection, or you knew there was a risk of transmission and unreasonably went ahead with it anyway. You actively transmitted the infection to the other person. Specific Guidance by Condition HIV: You are not legally obligated to disclose your HIV status. However, the majority of STI-related prosecutions in the UK happen around HIV because it is classified as a severe, life-altering condition. If you have an undetectable viral load or practice safe sex (e.g., using condoms), it is considered incredibly unlikely that you would be successfully prosecuted for reckless transmission. Other STIs (Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, Herpes, etc.): The law does not mandate disclosure. However, if you transmit a chronic, serious STI, there is a legal risk of prosecution for reckless transmission.
Ta**** Posted June 12 That’s why if you’re going to have unprotected sex is a must to get a FULL PANEL *** test before. I much rather pay $300 for *** analysis one time to live with remorse for the rest of my life.
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