How to ask about bdsm/shibari without it being weird

[b_****]

I’m fairly new at being a rigger, but I’ve always been fascinated by rope bondage and shibari, and have always wanted to dive into it. The issue I’m having is finding like-minded people that don’t mind being tied, and bringing it up in a manner where sex isn’t the primary intention.

Essentially, the way I want to bring it up is, but not in these exact words: “I would like to tie you up, and whether or not it’s sexual is entirely up to you”.

Any help from people within the community would be greatly appreciated!

[Tak1024]

There is a company that makes dolls that one can use to practice. Just look up shibari doll online. Not as good as a real person, but will help give you confidence in tying. These have a jointed "skeleton" so they act similar to a person.
Good luck.
Also, there is a studio here in Atlanta that teaches classes if you are nearby or decide to take a trip.

[Dr****]

What about finding a rope munch to try and find the like minded folks, then the question isnt awkward I guess.

Otherwise, what about making it more about exploring together. "Hey, so I am interested in rope play, but have never really tried it and want to explore it with someone who might be open minded to it. Because I'm new, its obviously more of a learn together type thing and I was hoping that we could do this together. Eventually, if things go right, maybe it could be something that is of interest in the bedroom, but right now, my focus is on learning the skills and making sure I'm taking care of you while we learn. What do you think"?

[La****]

I’d ask how do you feel about or have you ever heard of Shibari? If she says yes you can ask if she’s explored or if she likes and take it from there. If she hasn’t you can educate her and give her a brief and non overbearing definition/description of it as well.

[he****]

Bro lol you need better delivery. A lot of women dont want to be tied up by a stranger, think about it... i havent ever had issues finding women that like to be restrained but i typically wont even mention that until i meet them in person lol. Start with flirty comments about fuzzy handcuffs or something to keep it lighthearted and save the hog tied with zip ties and ball gag for another conversation

[b_****]

2 minutes ago, heisenbae said:

Bro lol you need better delivery. A lot of women dont want to be tied up by a stranger, think about it... i havent ever had issues finding women that like to be restrained but i typically wont even mention that until i meet them in person lol. Start with flirty comments about fuzzy handcuffs or something to keep it lighthearted and save the hog tied with zip ties and ball gag for another conversation

I obviously wouldn’t use that exact pickup line. Said so in my post. That’s simply an example

[Da****]

That sounds ideal to me.. lol. Sometimes there are local classes you can take. That might be fun to look into.

[ge****]

I'd recommend finding a rope class close to you - look on FL or Google it, they're a good way to both learn the skills and meet in a safe environment for all concerned.

[cellofello]

It depends very much on the relationship you have with the person you're talking to, and how well you know each other. Unless you have some reason to think they will be receptive, I'd go with a "plausible deniability" approach. E.g., "I saw that in a movie last week. I thought it really looked artistic, and since then I keep thinking I'd like to try learning to do that." If the other person is also interested, they can offer to partner with you. Maybe they'd even like to switch. But if they are not interested, they can decline your not-explicitly-an-offer without things becoming awkward by simply treating it as a general statement having nothing to do with them personally.