Where does a pet find a mistress?

[Deleted Member]

I’m in Texas; the Women here seem to be very submissive....and I’m not a dom:/ why is it so hard to find someone I can belong too. Any advice?

[ey****]

Simply put

you kinda don't just go to someone "you're a Domme - own me" just as in a vanilla relationship you wouldn't approach someone "you're a woman, marry me" 

the whole concept of relationships like this take time to form.  In a lot of cases, sub guys in particular can be a little guilty of centring prospective relationships around what *they* want rather than demonstrating how they can bring actual benefit to the Dominant

Not that I'm saying it's automatically easy - as well as an online presence, getting involved in a local kink or fetish community can help introduce you to new people and ideas 

But also, you can be submissive in almost any relationship.  From making sure you do more than the balance of housework, doing nice things for her pleasure (from breakfast in bed to surprise treats - to giving her the final say in all decisions to making things about her) - but it's often surprising how few guys want to do that.

[Deleted Member]

I do, I wanna do that and more<3 However, if your not straight upfront with what you like you can accidentally lead someone on. Getting to know them and taking the slow approach can waste her time and your time. most dominant women are not very vocal about what there into around here..... but don’t get the wrong idea. I’m willing to get to know them and build a relationship over time but it has to be with the right person. I want nothing more than to make my mistress happy... finding her is the problem.

[Deleted Member]

My comments keep getting erased:/

[Deleted Member]

I want to do everything you said and more. It’s just I feel like you got to be more straightforward with the things that you’re interested in or otherwise waste both her time and your time

[ey****]

4 hours ago, Lucipurr0009 said:

I do, I wanna do that and more<3 However, if your not straight upfront with what you like you can accidentally lead someone on. Getting to know them and taking the slow approach can waste her time and your time. most dominant women are not very vocal about what there into around here..... but don’t get the wrong idea. I’m willing to get to know them and build a relationship over time but it has to be with the right person. I want nothing more than to make my mistress happy... finding her is the problem.

Of course

I'm aware of this kinda double edged sword

1) You want a partner who is Dominant

2) You meet a partner

3) As time in the relationship progresses you bring up wants and desires

4) She doesn't want that

5) You have a choice between continuing a relationship you might otherwise be happy with - or - ending knowing you're never truly going to get what you want

6) So you go onto fetish websites

7) You be very forthcoming about fetishes and kinks and dynamics you want

8) Folk feel that you might be leading with fetishes, that you might care more about the kink than a person - that - it's still overall about what you want, rather than - well - why you'd be good to be around

And - well - finding a partner can be hard at the best of times, but when caveats are added it gets harder again.  Not that I'm saying don't have caveats, or standards, and it's good to be sure what will work for you (though, for example "I am a sub" is neither a descriptor nor personality type and could mean anything from "I like someone to boss me about in the bedroom" to "I want a relationship like my fantasy" to "I want my existence to be centred around your happiness")

All my points above have solutions.  As I say, honestly, I can't imagine anyone being unhappy by a partner who always gets up first to make breakfast in bed. Who does more than the even split of housework (some would even be very happy by someone who does an actual even split, without being asked) who always does thoughtful gestures 

And I think being forthcoming about what you'd like on fetish sites is not a bad thing - but - it's also important to show you're more than your fetishes.  

[Deleted Member]

You just explained exactly what happened to me. But I must say it’s more then a small part of my life. You can make anyone happy by taking some of the burden off of them.... and they might reward you. But I want someone that when I do these things it’s recognized to the point where they don’t see me as an asset for what I do for them. But to see why I do it. A lot of women when you start doing things for them it becomes an expectation. An all-time high that you cannot live up to all the time. However, for a woman to recognize the effort.... and give effort back is more than rare. Especially when it’s a kindness that is more out of their comfort zone and for you rather than something they’re used to and easy. It’s one thing toooo take someone to dinner As a thank you... rather than explore somebody’s kinks. To be with the wrong person, I would always be longing to belong to someone... for them to treat me the way I want to be treated. As selfish as that is I am willing to give equal effort back<3 It’s just hard to find

[ey****]

So then this becomes a different angle and a different way of thinking

if you are doing something because you expect something in return... other than your partners happiness... is it submission?

Is that the right word?

of course - in any relationship everyone should ideally get what they seek.  But if you approach someone with a view of being submissive, but it's actually more about what you want, not what you offer then - it's not impossible, but it's harder.

And yep, submission can be difficult. It's proper dedication.  It isn't just, "I will do things for you on my terms" but "I will do things for you on your terms, albeit, this is what would also make me happy in this arrangement"

[Deleted Member]

If you get multiple, send me one please!!! 🥴

[Me****]

Move to Denver. There are plenty!

[Aislin]

On 7/22/2021 at 3:41 AM, Menver420 said:

Move to Denver. There are plenty!

I am thinking about moving there to find a good masochist but will there be any available.

[ey****]

8 hours ago, Aislin said:

I am thinking about moving there to find a good masochist but will there be any available.

one thing I've learnt, kinky folk are everywhere to one description or another.   Just. Many don't walk round with a flag saying "I'm kinky come play with me!" 

[de****]

I am in Denver and need a F Dom .. how do I find her ?? Any help would be great

[Aislin]

On 8/19/2021 at 4:24 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

one thing I've learnt, kinky folk are everywhere to one description or another.   Just. Many don't walk round with a flag saying "I'm kinky come play with me!" 

Or worst all they really understand is kinky sex instead of an exchange.

[Deleted Member]

I want to be a pet

[ar****]

On Fet lol Your in the right place

[ar****]

July 8, 2021, Deleted profile said:

You just explained exactly what happened to me. But I must say it’s more then a small part of my life. You can make anyone happy by taking some of the burden off of them.... and they might reward you. But I want someone that when I do these things it’s recognized to the point where they don’t see me as an asset for what I do for them. But to see why I do it. A lot of women when you start doing things for them it becomes an expectation. An all-time high that you cannot live up to all the time. However, for a woman to recognize the effort.... and give effort back is more than rare. Especially when it’s a kindness that is more out of their comfort zone and for you rather than something they’re used to and easy. It’s one thing toooo take someone to dinner As a thank you... rather than explore somebody’s kinks. To be with the wrong person, I would always be longing to belong to someone... for them to treat me the way I want to be treated. As selfish as that is I am willing to give equal effort back<3 It’s just hard to find

I love that you want to find someone and be upfront with you wants just like political and religious difference sure I can date someone without know there political backgrounds but I would much rather inveSt time and energy into someone I know aligns with my beliefs and wants because if you find out later in life that someone political religious view differ greatly it will certainly cause problems

[gi****]

I don’t know but I miss my mistress! I want a new mistress

[Cimky]

July 8, 2021, Deleted profile said:

I want to do everything you said and more. It’s just I feel like you got to be more straightforward with the things that you’re interested in or otherwise waste both her time and your time

Mmmmmm now lets see if my 2c is worth anything to some here.

I am a Domme and yes we are not very vocal and bla bla bla with reason......

If you have the time then go scroll through my profile there you might find a bit of insight on why we are so quiet.

For one there is nothing as frustrating as a desperate thirsty boy. And that is what we run into so many times a day that we rather be invisible.

On the other hand most woman "hunt" differently from our male counterparts we dont let you know till we want you to know about the fact that we have an eye on you this allows us to see you as you how you behave overall not just when you are on your best behavior and this makes it very important for you to have a presence as stated already above.

Imagine a lioness hunting laying low in the grass down wind from her prey being invisible as much as her surroundings allows her she does not attack till the moment is perfect for her when she is sure she can take down her prey.
When she feels like she is being hunted she vanishes in a blink of an eye.

So in short stop hunting Dommes we hate it. Be active have a presence on the scene. Make sure you work on yourself D's are not *** trainers dont treat us as such. You dont need a D to grow and learn. Make sure you stand out from those around you.

When I vet new members in chat groups one of my questions always are "in your opinion what sets you aside from the next sub what makes you different?"
Its not a trick question we want to know what makes you tick what makes you you. We know you are submissive god so are the next fool and the next and the next thats nothing new what makes you the person you are what do you bring to the table?