oh**** Posted Monday at 06:24 PM See I appreciate the how are yous cause the messages I usually get are insane lmao
ja**** Posted Monday at 08:53 PM 15 hours ago, sirensuccubus said: All you have to do is be chill and personal. I’ve had better conversations that have come from men telling me I have beautiful hair. It’s not that difficult I think that no advice is actually useful when it comes to this sort of stuff because you can do everything that somebody suggests and it still won't work because it's all really very arbitrary. Women that say they want women that show attention to them? They only want attention from the right guy. Because so many of these chicks talking about how they want to personalize email will jump right on the cock of a guy that says sup if he looks good enough
ey**** Posted yesterday at 12:31 AM 16 hours ago, Vexedvector said: I got a match on another app. I sent a first message. Hello, how are you. She replied "I am fine, how about you". I replied. "I am doing good too." That concluded the interaction. She never replied again Yep it ends the interaction. You reached out, you were interested. She not only replied, that she was fine, but asked you a question to continute the conversation. You ended it when you said "I am doing good too" Because where does she go from here? You were the one interested in her, but now in just 3 exchanged messages have leaned it onto her to continue the conversation and offered nothing that this is going to be anything more than small talk hell "I am doing good too" is fine, but maybe continue it into some form of question It might still not go anywhere - but she's already shown she's at least a little interested in hearing what you have to say but you roadblocked. There was an opening. I dunno, you wanted to talk to her - what do you want to talk about? If you want to see if there's something in common ask her about shared interests. Yes she's apathetic because so far you've given her nothing to be interested in.
SJ**** Posted yesterday at 01:25 PM It’s a dating app. If you read someone’s profile and the best you have is "hey," maybe rethink the approach. "How are you" is marginally better, but I'd wager many aren't going to respond with how they're feeling about work. But the point with both is that it's not specific to them. No one feels particularly seen by "hey." It’s generic and noncommittal. If the profile is empty, comment on the photo. Still better than a monosyllabic intro. Also, engage the person, not the purpose you imagine they might serve for you. That’s why sexualization, objectification, arrogance, etc. often fail: you're talking about yourself and what you want from or how you view them. And yes, there are plenty of individuals out there who will respond to that kind of a thing. But if I'm reading your post right, you've not had success there either. Find something interesting about their profile and ask them about it. Show interest and curiosity in who they are. If it's just a picture, you may not have much to go on, but study the environment. The point is, be genuinely interested in who they are. My not so humble opinion.
De**** Posted 22 hours ago 19 hours ago, jaxnorth said: I think that no advice is actually useful when it comes to this sort of stuff because you can do everything that somebody suggests and it still won't work because it's all really very arbitrary. Women that say they want women that show attention to them? They only want attention from the right guy. Because so many of these chicks talking about how they want to personalize email will jump right on the cock of a guy that says sup if he looks good enough We get it, you hate women
ja**** Posted 20 hours ago 2 hours ago, Demeter333 said: We get it, you hate women Oh I love women that's why I bash my head against the brick wall trying to deal with you all. Am I wrong though you see that's the funny thing is you couldn't actually argue with anything I said instead you just said you hate women. Exactly what I'm talking about. Do you say to all the women who have profiles that are nothing but complaints about men that they hate men? No no of course you don't because this isn't any sort of honest or good faith statement on your part
SJ**** Posted 19 hours ago 22 hours ago, jaxnorth said: I think that no advice is actually useful when it comes to this sort of stuff because you can do everything that somebody suggests and it still won't work because it's all really very arbitrary. Women that say they want women that show attention to them? They only want attention from the right guy. Because so many of these chicks talking about how they want to personalize email will jump right on the cock of a guy that says sup if he looks good enough Attraction obviously matters. Nobody is pretending otherwise. But your statement of "a hot enough guy can get away with less effort" doesn't somehow prove effort is meaningless. It just means attraction and conversation are two different parts of the equation. And the whole "these chicks will jump on his cock" framing kind of proves the point. First, "chicks"? Really? You're not actually talking about women as people you're trying to know. You're talking about whether they'll reward a man with sex. Frankly, that mindset is probably doing more damage.
ey**** Posted 19 hours ago 30 minutes ago, SJVox said: But your statement of "a hot enough guy can get away with less effort" doesn't somehow prove effort is meaningless. It just means attraction and conversation are two different parts of the equation. I also feel this is somewhat of an assumption people make The angriest, and I mean the absolute angriest, of dudes is people who think they are good looking, ribbed, 'well hung', etc etc who don't get what they want Like the guys who project are often bitter, sure. But the ones who actually think women should be fawning over them are most likely to get angriest.
Th**** Posted 18 hours ago 9 times out of 10 I try to drag a conversation out of lazy opener and they really are just that boring and low effort. Not worth wasting my time anymore. You send that kind of thing dont be shocked when people ignore you.
Li**** Posted 12 hours ago I’ll copy paste ‘Hey, how are you, do anything exciting lately?’ For every single match, if they don’t put any effort in, bye I’ll unmatch
ja**** Posted 11 hours ago 9 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: I also feel this is somewhat of an assumption people make The angriest, and I mean the absolute angriest, of dudes is people who think they are good looking, ribbed, 'well hung', etc etc who don't get what they want Like the guys who project are often bitter, sure. But the ones who actually think women should be fawning over them are most likely to get angriest. I think it's really f**king pathetic that we can't have a discussion without these ad hominems. I'm not well hung I'm not ripped. But I am angry I'm angry that none of you so-called Modern Men are willing to acknowledge that thanks to social media and only fans and dating sites like this that women do have inflated self-assessment. I do find it offensive that even when I got my eyes and cross my teeth and do everything right, women can pretend like their rejections aren't entirely superficial many times and arbitrary
ja**** Posted 11 hours ago 8 hours ago, SJVox said: Attraction obviously matters. Nobody is pretending otherwise. But your statement of "a hot enough guy can get away with less effort" doesn't somehow prove effort is meaningless. It just means attraction and conversation are two different parts of the equation. And the whole "these chicks will jump on his cock" framing kind of proves the point. First, "chicks"? Really? You're not actually talking about women as people you're trying to know. You're talking about whether they'll reward a man with sex. Frankly, that mindset is probably doing more damage. And by the way lecturing me for using the word chicks in a form where it's nothing but bitching about men is kind of pathetic. It's not a good look it's not going to win anyone over attacking other men as a dating strategy is frankly pathetic
ja**** Posted 11 hours ago Monday at 04:56 PM, C38 said: You guys remember bumble?? Back in the day, women hat to write the first message there. Was the entire point of it. But the women on the app complained so long about it, that they removed the feature. Tells you all you need to know…. And now they are back at the classic „don’t hey me“ 🤣🤣🤣 You're exactly right, it's funny to me that even in this modern Progressive and feminist mindset that everyone has we still expect the men to be the ones to reach out and initiate. All of the responsibilities on men all of the choices on women and somehow another men are still the ones that are at fault
ey**** Posted 6 hours ago 4 hours ago, jaxnorth said: I think it's really f**king pathetic that we can't have a discussion without these ad hominems. I'm not well hung I'm not ripped. But I am angry I'm angry that none of you so-called Modern Men are willing to acknowledge that thanks to social media and only fans and dating sites like this that women do have inflated self-assessment. I do find it offensive that even when I got my eyes and cross my teeth and do everything right, women can pretend like their rejections aren't entirely superficial many times and arbitrary Like, are there some women who have inflated self-assessment? Sure. But are there also not men who have inflated self-assesment? Absolutely. Perhaps stuff like social media has opened things up where women don't have to settle for someone in their school/work/etc who 'is kinda nice' but that's where the interest starts and ends. But then also the same things open for men. Are dating sites to blame? I guess if you believe that - then don't be on dating sites. I think that on one hand when we talk perspective "volume of messages" then it means yeah, someone might have more 'choice' - but opening up to an inbox of (say) 100 messages doesn't mean any of them are any good. Doesn't mean there's anything *wrong* with the guy, but if we start removing any which are low effort, or clear mismatch (because of the man's own lack of standards/control) or so on : but dating sites aren't the only ways to meet people, they're not a mandatory process. And like this is it, if you find it offensive women reject you, and get angry other men get what you want - this really is something you kinda need to get over. Cos this is huge ass red flags vibes for any potential partner that you'd get angry or offended over someone saying 'no' to you. Ties in with what I was saying about men having inflated self-assesment
SJ**** Posted 5 hours ago 6 hours ago, jaxnorth said: And by the way lecturing me for using the word chicks in a form where it's nothing but bitching about men is kind of pathetic. It's not a good look it's not going to win anyone over attacking other men as a dating strategy is frankly pathetic Nope. Not my motive.
SJ**** Posted 4 hours ago 7 hours ago, jaxnorth said: I think it's really f**king pathetic that we can't have a discussion without these ad hominems. I'm not well hung I'm not ripped. But I am angry I'm angry that none of you so-called Modern Men are willing to acknowledge that thanks to social media and only fans and dating sites like this that women do have inflated self-assessment. I do find it offensive that even when I got my eyes and cross my teeth and do everything right, women can pretend like their rejections aren't entirely superficial many times and arbitrary You're making the case that all women behave the same way because of social media, only fans, etc. Are you more gay because Grindr exists? Or social media's presence made you into an influencer? Or this site made you kinkier? I think you're confusing a platform's availability with the notion that you must become these things. If anything, the existence of these platforms give certain individuals a chance to grow, explore, or even express in ways they never could before. Meanwhile, others don't. As for "Modern Men". No clue what that means. Lastly, if women aren't responding to your overtures, there's still no reason to lump them all together into one identity. After all, if a thousand people don't respond to something, maybe it's much more likely it's the one something that's the issue.
SJ**** Posted 1 hour ago 18 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: I also feel this is somewhat of an assumption people make The angriest, and I mean the absolute angriest, of dudes is people who think they are good looking, ribbed, 'well hung', etc etc who don't get what they want Like the guys who project are often bitter, sure. But the ones who actually think women should be fawning over them are most likely to get angriest. Sure, I can see that. They're possibly engaging in displacement -- rather than looking inward to find the actual cause for their constant rejection, they turn outward and push it on others.
Ba**** Posted 23 minutes ago 10 hours ago, jaxnorth said: I think it's really f**king pathetic that we can't have a discussion without these ad hominems. I'm not well hung I'm not ripped. But I am angry I'm angry that none of you so-called Modern Men are willing to acknowledge that thanks to social media and only fans and dating sites like this that women do have inflated self-assessment. I do find it offensive that even when I got my eyes and cross my teeth and do everything right, women can pretend like their rejections aren't entirely superficial many times and arbitrary Two questions 1) what ad hominem?? I for only read the comment you responded to here more like general „there are people like X“ than any sort of personal attack 2) on the topic of „men and women“ and/or „dominance and submission“ would you say you tend to me more toward the „social constructionist“ or the „biological determinist“ side??
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