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Virgin Submissive (?)

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So I’m a virgin (by choice), but I’m really drawn to this world. How do I know if I’m submissive?

Hey and welcome to the exciting world of kink :) you could try the BDSM test (a simple Google search will find it) it's also really important to understand that kink is VERY VERY fluid , you could be sub, Dom(me) or Switch and untill you have that experience you will never really know, but don't rush into the play part because as well as being fun and exciting what we do inherently comes with some risk.

Check out the BDSM tests and if you are comfy post the results here and we can chat about them if you want?

So I pulled one up, but I’m having a hard time with the questions. It asks do I like this or that during sex, but I’ve never had sex, so I don’t know how to answer. I could take a stab at it with what SOUNDS nice, but I don’t know if I’d actually enjoy it in practice 

Take a stab and use your first answer it's just a rough guide but kink is vast and it's a good starting point for research x

== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
93% Submissive 
85% Vanilla 
58% Primal (Prey) 
49% Pet 
46% Experimentalist 
46% Brat 
37% Rope bunny 
16% Exhibitionist 
14% Masochist 
14% Voyeur 
9% Slave 
7% Switch 
3% Degradee 
0% Daddy/Mommy 
0% Rigger 
0% Sadist 
0% Ageplayer 
0% Owner 
0% Non-monogamist 
0% Master/Mistress 
0% Boy/Girl 
0% Dominant 
0% Degrader 
0% Brat tamer 
0% Primal (Hunter) 

3 hours ago, LittleDragoness said:

So I’m a virgin (by choice), but I’m really drawn to this world. How do I know if I’m submissive?

"Drawn to this world" what about it are you drawn to?

What do you know about it?


There are many shades of kink, not all of them involve sex. Do you want sex? 

What kind of sex and/or kink do you think about, what do you want to explore? Do you want something casual? Something long term?


Do you have any ideas about what you dont want? Hard limits?


There are a lot of useful posts on here, take your time to read them. Think about setting up filters, distance, age range...


Ask questions and dont be pressured into anything or listen to anyone who tells you "should" do x, y, z....



Some excellent advice already given - and I'd add that to know where you fit, you need to know yourself first - which I know sounds odd, but if you truly don't know yourself or your desires, you can't possibly start looking for them or expressing them to others.

So my advice would be to take a step back and consider what you want, what interests you and what you'd hope to experience - read as much as you can find, then read some more and slowly you'll form a picture of yourself that can be formed into words and guide you on your way.

It doesn't have to be about sex, or "being" sub, dominant or anything but it does have to be about you.
You can be a virgin and still be submissive. There are many things that are misunderstood about BDSM, fetish and kink lifestyle.
It's not all about sex. Being submissive can be anything from being told to do certain things to full control where they tell you when you can eat, how to dress etc.
There are many ways to be submissive and still remain virgin. I will tell you from experience, there are people I have played with where there was absolutely no sexual interactions.
Being submissive, you set lot of the rules on how you want your play to go, before giving control to Dom. Then they advise by your rules, boundaries, limits, etc.
I hope you have a fun safe journey exploring the kink lifestyle
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