How To Get A Reply To Your Message

[CopperKnob]

To post

A real message From 'D' (for Dom 🙄)

“No one wants a friendly message exchange here. You women need to think about what you're doing on Fetish. Why are you even here if you're not interested in chatting kink!"

Dear 'D'

Every crappy character trait displayed in a message to me is going to earn a certain number of minus points: Call me by a honorific —10 points off. Tell me your fantasies without being asked —100 points lost. Send me a pic of your 🍆 a gazillion points gone. Crappy behaviour leaves your tally heavily in debt, but here’s the thing: it’s not enough to cut out your worst behaviours. What I’m (and everyone else) is looking for in a message is how many points I can add, not how many I can take away.

Don't get me wrong, I’m not sitting with a calculator doling out points (Fetish already does that for us) but in practice, that’s how it works for me. If I spent time getting to know all of the men who messaged me, by the end of the month I’d have too many to correspond with. The conversation would be meaningless, I wouldn't be able to focus on anyone, so it just ain't happening. This means that those I do reply to with any degree of interest have added points, they haven't lost points simply through avoiding deductions.

80% of the men who message me have no added points because they either flatter me or prove that they’ve not read my profile or writings and if they have read it they send it back to me in their message in some sort of echolalic fashion. They do it in-depth by enumerating seventy twelve facts from it, but I’m not feeling it. It’s sweet as hell that you bothered to read what I wrote, for that you get two points, but the guys on my friends list got 50 points by telling me about themselves and how they relate to me instead of about me. I already know what my submission looks like, that I like TB dresses Haribo and icecream

To tell you the truth, even hearing what we have in common doesn't get much of a smile from me. I want to see a whole person, that ☝️kind of message just gives me shards, and on my territory, not yours.

Flattery doesn’t cut it either because I’m not on Fetish to get my ego stroked, I’m here to make friends, learn about myself and all things kink. And just in case there was any doubt, Fetish is swimming with women who are looking to get laid, myself included, but not a single soul is getting into my knickers until he’s bothered with me on a platonic level.

The people who get into my circle show me what they're bringing to the table. I can pick pretence out of a crowded room from 20 paces so there is no formula. You’re going to have to show me your real self, whether that means: humour, an irony sharp enough to cut iron with or genuine intellect. Shy? That’s not going to lose any points because a shy guy can be as charming as a confident one, sometimes more so.

Hey, 'BWCFKBUDDY69', if you can’t imagine being called by your username at a party while maintaining your dignity, it’s a crap choice. It’d be a stretch to say I’ll be tempted by you based on your nickname, but give me something elegant and witty and I’ll assume you’re elegant and witty, too. I like imagination and intelligence in a man, and those who stray outside the obvious have a certain charm.

Face pics will win over a dick pic any day of the week, but I get that you’re not always willing to let the world and your boss know you’re wandering around the dark and hallowed halls of kink, I'm the same. All the avatars that have wowed me showed me personality (noticed a trend yet?) A stolen/blank profile pic isn’t going to win any points. I personally have little interest in how tanned and sculpted your six-pack is -they're good to look at but uncomfortable as hell to sleep on. As with everything, I want character, undiluted and original. I’m a sucker for style and a smirk, but that means different things to everyone.

If you suck at choosing cufflinks or happen to have a pair of well-hewn abs, it doesn’t mean I’m going to send you to Neverland without so much as a 'hello'.
Truthfully, there is only one thing that earns points with me: being yourself. You might be my nemesis, I might reject you, but if you put yourself out there, things might just get interesting, which is more than I can say for safer tactics. To make things easier, I’ve prepared this handy guide:

How to Get a Reply to Your First Message

1) Show us who you are.

Easy enough?

[Leisa]

Sadly for the majority that seems easier said then done. I’ve responded to exactly 2 first messages since coming onto the sight. Both of those showed a piece of who they were in their first message. What makes them tick in some way. If gentlemen would take the time to send honest messages upfront they may find themselves getting a response from their chosen recipient.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Leisa said:

Sadly for the majority that seems easier said then done. I’ve responded to exactly 2 first messages since coming onto the sight. Both of those showed a piece of who they were in their first message. What makes them tick in some way. If gentlemen would take the time to send honest messages upfront they may find themselves getting a response from their chosen recipient.

A basic fact many seem to miss.....and then they wonder why they never get anywhere. Basic human decency is, I think an attractive quality from.....whichever side of the slash one sits

[BigPolly]

Oh wow…. This needs to be the automated ‘send this as an automatic No Thanks message’
I understand some people find it hard to chat or even approach people but to ask to talk then come back with one word answers or like a hormonal 15yr old at a school disco…..?!
I very rarely strike up conversation with anyone as I’m happy just being on here, plus my inability to read people means I automatically friend zone people without meaning to.
It takes a rare (& funny) diamond to be able to stop me in my tracks & that doesn’t come from stepping onto my DMs with ‘Hey’
I also personally find that many of the younger (ie in their 20s) have more charm & conversation than those my age.
And sadly BigCockDaddyDomSitOnMyFace is never going to get a conversation from me regardless of his charm and wit.
Thank you @CopperKnob for another amazingly perfect piece

[PassionateAngel]

Love reading your posts! Finally knowing exactly what we do look for and a good tip for those trying to get to know us!
It sure is enlightening - being new to the scene the men seem to think I’m easy or a simple gesture of telling me basics about kink/BDSM they think they have owned me (until I gracefully decline - then I’m the bad one) showing a dick pick in my line of work gets you nowhere seen too many over the years.
Let’s see if the ‘real guys/Doms’ actually read this and allow us to get to know then and their worth as we know ours

[Deleted Member]

Insightful. Thank you

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

To post

A real message From 'D' (for Dom 🙄)

“No one wants a friendly message exchange here. You women need to think about what you're doing on Fetish. Why are you even here if you're not interested in chatting kink!"

Dear 'D'

Every crappy character trait displayed in a message to me is going to earn a certain number of minus points: Call me by a honorific —10 points off. Tell me your fantasies without being asked —100 points lost. Send me a pic of your 🍆 a gazillion points gone. Crappy behaviour leaves your tally heavily in debt, but here’s the thing: it’s not enough to cut out your worst behaviours. What I’m (and everyone else) is looking for in a message is how many points I can add, not how many I can take away.

Don't get me wrong, I’m not sitting with a calculator doling out points (Fetish already does that for us) but in practice, that’s how it works for me. If I spent time getting to know all of the men who messaged me, by the end of the month I’d have too many to correspond with. The conversation would be meaningless, I wouldn't be able to focus on anyone, so it just ain't happening. This means that those I do reply to with any degree of interest have added points, they haven't lost points simply through avoiding deductions.

80% of the men who message me have no added points because they either flatter me or prove that they’ve not read my profile or writings and if they have read it they send it back to me in their message in some sort of echolalic fashion. They do it in-depth by enumerating seventy twelve facts from it, but I’m not feeling it. It’s sweet as hell that you bothered to read what I wrote, for that you get two points, but the guys on my friends list got 50 points by telling me about themselves and how they relate to me instead of about me. I already know what my submission looks like, that I like TB dresses Haribo and icecream

To tell you the truth, even hearing what we have in common doesn't get much of a smile from me. I want to see a whole person, that ☝️kind of message just gives me shards, and on my territory, not yours.

Flattery doesn’t cut it either because I’m not on Fetish to get my ego stroked, I’m here to make friends, learn about myself and all things kink. And just in case there was any doubt, Fetish is swimming with women who are looking to get laid, myself included, but not a single soul is getting into my knickers until he’s bothered with me on a platonic level.

The people who get into my circle show me what they're bringing to the table. I can pick pretence out of a crowded room from 20 paces so there is no formula. You’re going to have to show me your real self, whether that means: humour, an irony sharp enough to cut iron with or genuine intellect. Shy? That’s not going to lose any points because a shy guy can be as charming as a confident one, sometimes more so.

Hey, 'BWCFKBUDDY69', if you can’t imagine being called by your username at a party while maintaining your dignity, it’s a crap choice. It’d be a stretch to say I’ll be tempted by you based on your nickname, but give me something elegant and witty and I’ll assume you’re elegant and witty, too. I like imagination and intelligence in a man, and those who stray outside the obvious have a certain charm.

Face pics will win over a dick pic any day of the week, but I get that you’re not always willing to let the world and your boss know you’re wandering around the dark and hallowed halls of kink, I'm the same. All the avatars that have wowed me showed me personality (noticed a trend yet?) A stolen/blank profile pic isn’t going to win any points. I personally have little interest in how tanned and sculpted your six-pack is -they're good to look at but uncomfortable as hell to sleep on. As with everything, I want character, undiluted and original. I’m a sucker for style and a smirk, but that means different things to everyone.

If you suck at choosing cufflinks or happen to have a pair of well-hewn abs, it doesn’t mean I’m going to send you to Neverland without so much as a 'hello'.
Truthfully, there is only one thing that earns points with me: being yourself. You might be my nemesis, I might reject you, but if you put yourself out there, things might just get interesting, which is more than I can say for safer tactics. To make things easier, I’ve prepared this handy guide:

How to Get a Reply to Your First Message

1) Show us who you are.

Easy enough?

Flawless Xx  CopperKnob +1000 points 

[Deleted Member]

I have to say I agree with all the comments made above, they are spot on, but sadly it will fall on deaf ears my lady. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it think its a bear. Or unicorn..whatever. xx

[ey****]

the thing I always want to have optimism in.

Every person who get's it (mostly) right learnt from somewhere

and while the ones who persistently get things (mostly) wrong are probably not going to take heed or make excuses or whatever - there are those who will one day be in the former category who learn from somewhere

--

When I first joined another site, I was mostly quiet for the first 3 months, reading a lot what other people were saying - seeing what seemed to work and what seemed to not work

and I'm not saying everyone should stay quiet for 3 months - but - that - the folk who become alright, learn from somewhere.  So, why not your posts. IDK

[PassionateAngel]

Can we drown the horse instead 😂

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for another wonderful  piece, give them insight on what we like and for them not to be a jerk. 

The msg I be getting are straight up demanding like they’re the best thing ever. They giving me names without my consent, and the most funny one asking me if I know about the lifestyle just to see if I’m easy target 😒 and my most favorite one when they tell me “you’re too much “ just because I ask for verification 🤣 that I’m acting like a domme. If they would have taken a few seconds to look at my profile would see I’m a switch 🤦‍♀️ And that wasn’t even dominant 🤷🏽‍♀️ 

Edited October 13, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Cu****]

How to Get a Reply to Your First Message

1) Show us who you are.

 

If their first message is a douchy pile of trash then they have shown who they are.

 

 

[Leisa]

2 hours ago, TheScribe said:

I have to say I agree with all the comments made above, they are spot on, but sadly it will fall on deaf ears my lady. You can take a horse to water but you can't make it think its a bear. Or unicorn..whatever. xx

No! It’s that rare unicorn we want to keep around…

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, Curvygirl1 said:

How to Get a Reply to Your First Message

1) Show us who you are.

 

If their first message is a douchy pile of trash then they have shown who they are.

 

 

True 

[Deleted Member]

54 minutes ago, PassionateAngel said:

Can we drown the horse instead 😂

Ouch! Poor horse 

[Deleted Member]

Maybe it's mean, but I'm also not going to reply to a single "Hey" or just "How are you?" It's lazy and it's uninteresting and, quite frankly, I cba replying and enduring small talk until I work out if you're intriguing or not.

[CopperKnob]

12 hours ago, BigPolly said:

Oh wow…. This needs to be the automated ‘send this as an automatic No Thanks message’
I understand some people find it hard to chat or even approach people but to ask to talk then come back with one word answers or like a hormonal 15yr old at a school disco…..?!
I very rarely strike up conversation with anyone as I’m happy just being on here, plus my inability to read people means I automatically friend zone people without meaning to.
It takes a rare (& funny) diamond to be able to stop me in my tracks & that doesn’t come from stepping onto my DMs with ‘Hey’
I also personally find that many of the younger (ie in their 20s) have more charm & conversation than those my age.
And sadly BigCockDaddyDomSitOnMyFace is never going to get a conversation from me regardless of his charm and wit.
Thank you @CopperKnob for another amazingly perfect piece

Imagine how brilliant it would be if it were! I'd love it

[CopperKnob]

10 hours ago, FitGirl said:

Flawless Xx  CopperKnob +1000 points 

Ooooh, thank you, but what do I get with my points? 🤔

[CopperKnob]

8 hours ago, PassionateAngel said:

Can we drown the horse instead 😂

Some random will probably want to flog it once its dead though? 😂

[CopperKnob]

6 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

Maybe it's mean, but I'm also not going to reply to a single "Hey" or just "How are you?" It's lazy and it's uninteresting and, quite frankly, I cba replying and enduring small talk until I work out if you're intriguing or not.

Nor me either 🤷‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Ooooh, thank you, but what do I get with my points? 🤔

i hadnt thought that far  x

[Sophie58]

Once again we’ll said. I especially dislike the ones who “Princess, angel, my dear, babe” me to death. That and their crappy English is my first clue they are scammers

[Sc****]

In Principle I have to say Your question has logic but could prevent someone from understanding the true meaning of submission

[Leisa]

19 minutes ago, Scorpy04 said:

In Principle I have to say Your question has logic but could prevent someone from understanding the true meaning of submission

Could you mansplain the true meaning of submission?

[Leisa]

19 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Ooooh, thank you, but what do I get with my points? 🤔

As it’s been explained to me points equate to spanks.