What are women sexually unwilling to do for you?

[Deleted Member]

In my relationships, I have found that every woman I have been with has shamed me regarding anything anal (both/either way) or BJ’s. Every woman has wanted me to feel bad about myself for wanting those things because each woman has found them boring or too physically demanding.

This leaves me curious to know, what have you found women are sexually unwilling to do for you?

[Go****]

What kind of women have you been meeting?

[ey****]

I've found different partners have different limits - and that's cool

But like - I've also got limits - so there's stuff I won't do for partners.

I guess one thing I'd like people to do for me more often is to rim me - but - that'll next happen when it happens with whoever. It's not a dealbreaker

[pe****]

Lol no anal even no bjs. Wtf. I respect their boundarys but if that is their boundarys then a quick byebye untill never again

[wo****]

My ex of 10yrs declined an open relationship only to later discover she is involved with several people sexual anyway and she is actively progressively involved with the Dom/sub culture a culture coincidentally did I have discovered has been apart of me all these years but never realize this I found my home one day I will spank her for her disobedience and being a naughty brat that she is

[Deleted Member]

What did they say when you broached the subject? What did they say to make you feel bad?

[Deleted Member]

This sounds more like a sexual compatibility issue? There are women who absolutely love those activities and some who don't and that's their choice. So it's best to get these likes/dislikes out of the way up front to ensure compatibility before you get locked into a relationship where you/your partner are not being sexually satisfied or feeling undue pressure to engage in an activity they really don't like

[Rob2519]

I can understand the Anal reaction. Not everyone into it. But don't realise it can very clean and a massive connection experience. Bjs, I had the same from my ex. Me being really kinky I can't believe it took 3 years to realise lol prostate play is the way to satisfy me and a wet sloppy bj but gentle. Its all about where and how you touch a man's c***. Very new to site xx

[ge****]

Shamed you in what way OP? By saying no, it's not for them?
.
They're boundaries just like any other - so you either accept them, or move on to someone who has boundaries more compatible with what you are looking/hoping for.
.
Surely if someone finds something "too physically demanding" that's understandable isn't it?
.
I have had individual partners who've not liked specific things in the past, and I've just accepted them as boundaries and not seen them as something I am missing out on.

[Am****]

My ex never would want to give me blow jobs. I wanted then as it made me feel good and she always be like no it’s to much work or she didn’t feel like it. This went on for month and I was getting annoyed with her. One time her younger was over and I like the look of her to so I asked her to give me one and she did as she was single. She recorded it and sent it to her *** which was at work. My gf was made at the time and asked me why I did it. I look back and said you know and if you don’t you should.

[St****]

I’m sorry that has happened to you. I can say that growing up I was taught that those things are what only trashy slutty girls do. So depending how a girl was raised you may be fighting their upraising.
It took me about 30-35 years to learn that I love giving BJ’s and that it is okay to be like that.
It also took me until it was in my late 40s to try anal. And now I love it.
So maybe you need to try a different approach in your conversation. Also consider the background of the person you are having these conversations with.
Good luck! I hope you can find the right person!

[ki****]

In what way we’re you shamed? Or are you reading it as rejection? We all have preferences and limits. Eg I do BJ but Anal for me is a hard limit but I wouldn’t shame someone for asking I would just politely say no it’s not for me. It’s about building a dynamic that works for each involved.

[Deleted Member]

I know it's been said, but I absolutely agree with the gentleman that this is a compatibility thing! Being Trans AND Pan, I can kind of see it from both sides and I think it's just about communication early in the relation to establish preferences! I know plenty of women like me who downright love those activities, but have other boundaries people would be surprised at! Communication is everything 😊😊

[Deleted Member]

I think the issue is really when someone presents these as things you’ll get regularly, and then changes once the relationship is firmed up. I’ve had partners who made it clear from the start that they didn’t enjoy giving BJs, and I’ve had partners who seems to enjoy giving BJs until the relationship was a bit further in and then stopped doing it unprompted. They are all exes for a reason 🙃

[DarkArts1066]

When I married my first wife in 1988, I had no idea that she had a pathological disliking for sucking cock. But then, it wasn’t the kind of discussion you actually had with any good Irish Catholic girl. I loved her at the time, so was prepared to compromise for the greater good. I didn’t actually see her vagina until the year 1998 - by which time we had two *** - (I was not permitted into the birthing suite… )when I decided to just go for it one evening, and give her oral - which, surprisingly, she enjoyed.
I resolved to never again find myself in that position.
Damn me if I didn’t then fall for someone else who - yep, you guessed it.
Had a pathological disliking for oral sex (well giving anyway)
Needless to say, I have now learned my lesson … and my subsequent partners have not been so - restrictive.

[Deleted Member]

Wow It’s disrespectful of them to shamed you for liking those things, all they could have said that’s not why they are into and move along.

that sucks because there a lot that will love to do those things. I personally do those things but anal for the one I’m married with 😊

I just wouldn’t do ***, castration, licking the floor/shoes/surfaces , bruises, slap and others
( that I can’t seem to remember right now lol )

[Ar****]

I wouldn't look at it as though I'd ever had a partner "unwilling" to do something for me. Whomever I'm with we look at likes/dislikes/limits/experience, find what works for us and grow from there. I wouldn't ask them to do what they aren't willing to do. It's about me respecting boundaries and prevents negative connotations from ever arising.

[ke****]

No ones ever shamed me but I’ve definitely been told oh I can’t do that. I like it when that someone spits on my face like they are bad. And then apologizes afterwards while liking it all off. Haven’t found someone wanting to do that. I’ve found willing. But I want someone who wants to do the things I want to do.

[Li****]

First off, if they are kink-shaming you then that is bad on them. However, everyone has their preferences and things they want to or are willing to try.

Second, decide whats .most important to you. For instance, finding someone thats okay with all of my kinks is probably not going to happen, but finding someone who is okay with them and is willing to try them out is. From that point, you have to decide if you're able to be happy with the situation.

Lastly, consent is the most important thing. If you pressure anyone and they make you feel bad for that. Youre the problem.

In my experience, the majority of women are at bare minimum willing to do oral but rarely under pressure. Anal is usually something you usually have to work up to even if they are open to it

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Goddessmiami69 said:

What kind of women have you been meeting?

Sensible ones

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, pepepeter said:

Lol no anal even no bjs. Wtf. I respect their boundarys but if that is their boundarys then a quick byebye untill never again

Get a grip then!

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, pepepeter said:

Lol no anal even no bjs. Wtf. I respect their boundarys but if that is their boundarys then a quick byebye untill never again

With poor respect like that are you surprised hun?

[Deleted Member]

It’s not the women! It’s you!

[Deleted Member]

I'm sorry to hear that your former relationships have been unkind. No one should shame another (unless it's part of consensual play). We're all part of the same community; often misunderstood by the masses; so we ought to stick together to share our desires and fantasies in a healthy, safe environment. For what it's worth, BJs and anal have never been off limits based on my preferences, but I have my own set of disinterests (often related to physical limitations). Nonetheless, I would never shame someone for making the request, especially in an intimate relationship. I hope you find more understanding, empathetic personalities. And if you find someone shaming you again, it may be worth a conversation to let them know how their words impact you. People have the potential to be kinder.

[Deleted Member]

Anal does seem to be a boundry that a LOT of women have, even one's that are into shit I'd consider way more extreme. Never been a problem for me since it's not something I'm especially into, but I do wonder if it's one if those things where they're more against the idea than the actual experience and wouldn't be against it if they'd tried it properly.