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Hi All!  I am looking for some advice!  My husband is very into BDSM and wants me to be his Domme.  I am totally up for it, but my confidence is a little shaken.  Until recently, I didnt know just how much he was into doing this.   I usually prefer him to take the lead, but he has expressed a strong desire to give me control.  I am assertive in our daily life together, but not so much in the bedroom.  Any advice would be great!  If you are going to be rude and unhelpful, please do not bother to reply.  

Thanks in advance for any help!


Ohhhh, exciting times ahead for you both.

Sending you a mail 😊

Hi we are a doms couple.if u want we can show.you what to do to dominate and humiliate him.our time is not for free.if u want to meet . contact me in my private number
Go with it, it’s good to take control, it’s really rewarding to be a Domme, don’t make yourself uncomfortable, little steps at first, an unexpected slap here and there, don’t let him cum until your ready, restraints are nice, if you feel uneasy , try blindfolding him, you’ll feel more empowered without feeling your being watched and scrutinised, good luck x

I can't imagine anyone being rude or willfully unhelpful.


So, I'm reading your situation - he's broached the idea, you can see it means a lot to him and while not something you particularly thought you'd be into : you're game to try? 

Chances are, he's already got some ideas he'd like to try and that can be a good first step.  There might be many ideas he comes up with you can do off the bat - or if say, he decides he's into flogging or caning or something which requires skill and equipment that might be a different line of advice.

Sometimes some guys can need a little coaxing, but, if you spend a load of money on clothes or toys and it's not in line with his interests you may have wasted money.

Of course, talking to others about their dynamics can be good.  This is tricky but possible online - a little easier if you've a local munch together, as it's easier to see how people interact with each other.

Communication is key and remember there'll be lots of trial and error.  Good luck.


I agree with everything eyemblacksheep said in the previous reply, but if all else fails you can go to a Dungeon and see a professional. The kink of couple therapies. :P

  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks everyone!  I appreciate your time😊  We have started exploring things together and so far it's been awesome!

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