li**** Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 Hey peeps! 💛 I’m interested in how you and/or your partner reacts when one of the participants in the relationship just isn’t feeling like having intercourse in a certain moment.. thanks
Cheekysub247 Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 Depends on what has been arranged, for me personally, theres lots of times ive not wanted sex but i give because thats what i consented to, to give reguardless of what im feeling. I never ask for sex so the other side is never an issue. Some people have different arrangements x
LifeLongSub36 Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 In my arrangement, no is a word I’m not allowed to say, I would be punished for trying to turn down sex. Being at his beck and call is a turn on for me. Like Cheeky, I also NEVER ask for sex, it’s not my place. However, with that being said, if you are going to be in a D/s relationship you get to know each other pretty well. He can tell when I’m REALLY not in the mood and respects me enough to not demand it, he can also tell when I really want it but won’t ask and typically takes care of me. I also have an extremely high sex drive so me not wanting is usually few and far between. I think he would be genuinely surprised, and probably think I was joking, if I said I wasn’t in the mood lol
ge**** Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 Putting aside any D/s dynamics and what may have been agreed as part of that as Cheeky and LifeLong have covered it well above - it depends on the situation, I mean we all have times when we're not feeling it, or may be ill or whatever, so it comes down to the specific moment and the reason a partner doesn't want to have sex, and also how they convey that they don't plus how you conveyed that you do. . It can leave you scratching your head at times for sure, and if you're not careful overthinking things, but mostly I just accept it and wait for another time. . The real problems are when someone continuously doesn't want to, or when it's all very one sided and only happens when they want to.
Deleted Member Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 Just find someone else that's in the mood for you , that's what I would do , but that's just my advice , not that it should or shouldn't be that way. Each has a different point of view. That's why polygamy is important , when one ain't in the mood you will have another who may be.
ge**** Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 58 minutes ago, JohnnyBlack66 said: Just find someone else that's in the mood for you , that's what I would do , but that's just my advice , not that it should or shouldn't be that way. Each has a different point of view. That's why polygamy is important , when one ain't in the mood you will have another who may be. I think you've somewhat misunderstood the question there - the OP was referring to when a partner isn't in the mood at a given moment, not completely - moving on to someone else just because your partner isn't in the mood in that moment would be extreme at best and utterly soul destroying at worst. . Even in a poly situation it would be pretty cruel to say "OK if you don't want it, I have someone else lined up that does" would totally cheapen the intent of the approach to cold clinical transactional sex.
TheDeathRictus Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 2 hours ago, gemini_man said: I think you've somewhat misunderstood the question there - the OP was referring to when a partner isn't in the mood at a given moment, not completely - moving on to someone else just because your partner isn't in the mood in that moment would be extreme at best and utterly soul destroying at worst. . Even in a poly situation it would be pretty cruel to say "OK if you don't want it, I have someone else lined up that does" would totally cheapen the intent of the approach to cold clinical transactional sex. Absolutely, polyamory is not about sating our *** desires alone, it's meant to be a way to explore ourselves and other people as people, not just boil it down to sex and needs. Otherwise why be polyamorous at all, just admit you're an open relationship with extra steps
Deleted Member Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 You all just acting like a bunch of Christian Catholics , grow up this the real world. If a lover ain't in the mood I would still love them but needs are needs and one must use another if the other ain't available. B!these!!!
Deleted Member Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 Oh and one thing I despise is ignorance and immature people only seeing one point of view , closed minded people that don't realize not all people have love as some of us do and they have the rite to only desire physical gratification.
ge**** Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 33 minutes ago, JohnnyBlack66 said: You all just acting like a bunch of Christian Catholics , grow up this the real world. If a lover ain't in the mood I would still love them but needs are needs and one must use another if the other ain't available. B!these!!! I am neither Christian nor a Catholic one I can assure you and at almost 57 I think I qualify as a grown up. . You're of course entitled to your "desire" to "use" people as you see fit, whether that gets you very far is another matter, needs or otherwise. . As for ignorance and maturity I'll let others be the judge of that. . Having a need for physical gratification and enjoying cold, clinical, transactional sex is of course fine, so long as *all* involved are OK with it. . For me personally, if I wasn't in the mood for sex at a given moment, and a partner said "No worries I'll just pop over to Fred's for a fuck instead" I wouldn't be happy about it and that's coming from someone who has lived non-monogomously for the past 6 years. . Poly doesn't mean respect and consideration go out the window at all. . If that makes me a Christian Catholic bible thumper then quick get me to the confessional and have me saying hail Mary's for the rest of time.
TheDeathRictus Posted April 23, 2022 Posted April 23, 2022 47 minutes ago, JohnnyBlack66 said: Oh and one thing I despise is ignorance and immature people only seeing one point of view , closed minded people that don't realize not all people have love as some of us do and they have the rite to only desire physical gratification. Mature people can realise other people have feelings and make efforts not to hurt them, despite their own lack of them. This is called adult communication and basic empathy, such things as trying to undermine the opposite point of view by calling them "immature" or "ignorant" (forgive me correcting your grammar, I assumed that was your intended wording) or even assuming their Christian.... especially as I'm actually a Nordic pagan more than anything else. Maybe you should think about the respect others have shown you, even while disagreeing, before you comment.
Monsoon Posted April 24, 2022 Posted April 24, 2022 Well if they are not in the mood, you might want to try other forms of intimacy. And reason I say it like that is cause it's gonna get intimate, touching, kissing, find weak spots you never knew she had. At times like these blindfolds are amazing they heighten the body's sense it doesn't have to be intercourse to get yours an her rocks off.
Deleted Member Posted April 24, 2022 Posted April 24, 2022 Part of my relationship with my lady is an agreement that's shes available for sexual use whenever I choose........no is not an option. However If i were horny and i could see she had had a tough day, maybe feeling ill or just not feeling it, i would choose then to not exercise that pre agreed consent....as I'm first and always about care and protection.
LifeLongSub36 Posted April 26, 2022 Posted April 26, 2022 That is most definitely the correct way to handle it and any sub would appreciate that attitude. For me as a sub, the feeling of protection, security, and being cherished is a big part of why I am a sub
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